The Necessity And Beauty Of Forgiveness Series

h. God can help us let go of the past through forgiveness, regardless of whether or not there has ever been any apology, recompense, punishment or reconciliation.

3. Ultimately, forgiveness is an act of faith.

a. By forgiving another person, I am trusting that God is a better justice-maker than I am.

b. By forgiving, I release my own right to get even and leave all issues of fairness for God to work out.

c. I leave in God’s hands the scales that must balance justice and mercy.

d. None of this is easy, but God makes it all possible.

C. What things can help us to learn to forgive? Let me suggest 3 things…

D. First of all, it helps to remember how much we have needed forgiveness.

1. All of us are sinners and have offended our Holy God, and have received His amazing grace.

2. All of us have also offended and hurt others, and have received forgiveness from them.

3. That’s why Paul taught the Ephesians: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Eph. 4:32)

4. Because we all have been forgiven, we should seek to extend that forgiveness to others.

5. King David, being well aware of his shortcomings, was able to be much more patient with the wrongdoing of others.

6. The proud, however, find it hard to forgive.

7. Those who refuse to recognize their own failures struggle to tolerate, understand, and forgive the failures of others.

8. So let’s be a people we are very aware of our own failures and sins, and appreciate the amount of grace that has been shown to us, so that we will be inclined to be more forgiving to others.

E. Second, it helps to understand where the offender is coming from.

1. It helps to try to see beyond the offense and try to understand what might have been or might be going on inside the offender.

2. So many times the offender is someone who has also been greatly wounded by others.

3. Inside that adult body we can see, there is often a scared, hurting little boy or girl who has not yet recovered from their own abusive experiences.

4. Then there are other times when someone offends us and they are just having a bad day.

a. It really didn’t have anything to do with us, we just came a long at the wrong time.

b. You’re familiar with the scenario that goes like this – the husband or wife has a hard time at work, comes home and takes it out on the kids, who in turn take it out on the cat.

5. And then there are also times when people offend us and that didn’t intend to offend us, and didn’t even realize that they offended us.

6. As Jesus hung on the cross, he was able to keep all this in perspective and so he prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Lk. 23:34)

7. Putting ourselves in the other person’s shoes often helps us objectify their actions and helps us to control our reactions.

F. Third, it helps to realize that extending forgiveness is what is best for them and for us.

1. Someone has said, “bitterness is like drinking poison hoping that your enemy will die from it.”

2. Or as comedian Buddy Hackett once confessed, “I’ve had a few arguments with people, but I never carry a grudge. You know why? While you’re carrying a grudge, they’re out dancing.”