The Glorious Church Series

Ephesians 5:25-33 [25] Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, [26] that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, [27] so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. [28] In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. [29] For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, [30] because we are members of his body. [31]"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." [32] This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. [33] However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (ESV)

Due to restrictions on social gatherings, lack of rental spaces and a general decline in people getting married, 2020 has seen a record drop in weddings. As much as this year has been different, some things tend to remain the same. Those who provide premarital and marital counseling often hear couples express deficient ideas of love. When asked what they mean by “I love you,” one or the other is likely to answer in self-centered language about being loved, feeling good, enjoying the other’s personality and so on. But here in Ephesians the dominant idea is giving oneself for the good of the other (Liefeld, W. L. (1997). Vol. 10: Ephesians. The IVP New Testament commentary series. Downers Grove, Ill.: InterVarsity Press.).

In salvation we leave the life of habitual sin and hold fast/cleave to Christ. In marriage, a new family is begun and the relationships of the former families are to be severed as far as primary authority and responsibilities are concerned. Parents are always to be loved and cared for, but they are no longer to control the lives of their children once they are married.

In Ephesians 5:25–33 the topic of marriage actually is intended to be illustrative of Christ's love for His Church. In it, we see 1) The Manner of Christ's Love (Ephesians 5:25–31) and 2) The Motive of Christ's Love (Ephesians 5:32-33) for His "Glorious Church".

Using the illustration of Marriage, we can understand:

1) The Manner of Christ's Love for His Glorious Church (Ephesians 5:25–31)

Ephesians 5:25-31 [25] Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, [26] that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, [27] so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. [28] In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. [29] For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, [30] because we are members of his body. [31]"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." (ESV)

• We will spend most of our time in this first point.

The command in Ephesians 5:25a for husbands, to love your wives, continues Paul’s explanation of the mutual submission mentioned in verse 21. This is a PRESENT ACTIVE IMPERATIVE which is the only IMPERATIVE in the paragraph. The husband should set the spiritual atmosphere in the home by continuing to love his wife as Christ loved the church (Utley, R. J. D. (1997). Vol. Volume 8: Paul Bound, the Gospel Unbound: Letters from Prison (Colossians, Ephesians and Philemon, then later, Philippians). Study Guide Commentary Series (130). Marshall, Texas: Bible Lessons International.).

The quality of the love that husbands are required to give to their wives is first shown by the word that is used for love. Three other words might have been used in Greek for the love of husband for wife, and classical writers would more naturally have used them. There was the word erao that expressed the deep sexual passion of man for woman, and the words phileo and storgeo were used for affection within the family. None of these is used here; instead Paul chooses the typically Christian word agapao, love that is totally unselfish, that seeks not its own satisfaction, nor even affection answering affection, but that strives for the highest good of the one loved. This love has as its standard and model the love of Christ for his church. ‘It means not only a practical concern for the welfare of the other, but a continual readiness to subordinate one’s own pleasure and advantage for the benefit of the other. It implies patience and kindliness, humility and courtesy, trust and support (1 Cor. 13:4–7). This love means that one is eager to understand what the needs and interests of the other are, and will do everything in his power to supply those needs and further those interests’(Foulkes, F. (1989). Vol. 10: Ephesians: An introduction and commentary. Tyndale New Testament Commentaries (162–163). Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.) To “love” (??apa^te, agapate) is to care for the needs of someone, even when that person is unlovely and undeserving. This divine kind of love is not motivated by self-interest or the attractiveness of the one loved, but by a sincere interest in that person’s well being. Love based on self-interest will fail whenever the object of love fails to gratify selfish lusts. Love based only on attractiveness will fail whenever the object of love grows older, fatter, sicker, or balder. True agape love can include sexual desire and appreciation for attractiveness, but it is based on a permanent concern for the one loved. It is the only kind of love that goes on loving whether circumstances are better or worse, whether richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, until death parts the lovers (Boles, K. L. (1993). Galatians & Ephesians. The College Press NIV commentary (Eph 5:25). Joplin, Mo.: College Press.).