Ephesians 5:25-33 [25] Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, [26] that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, [27] so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. [28] In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. [29] For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, [30] because we are members of his body. [31]"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." [32] This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. [33] However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (ESV)
Due to restrictions on social gatherings, lack of rental spaces and a general decline in people getting married, 2020 has seen a record drop in weddings. As much as this year has been different, some things tend to remain the same. Those who provide premarital and marital counseling often hear couples express deficient ideas of love. When asked what they mean by “I love you,” one or the other is likely to answer in self-centered language about being loved, feeling good, enjoying the other’s personality and so on. But here in Ephesians the dominant idea is giving oneself for the good of the other (Liefeld, W. L. (1997). Vol. 10: Ephesians. The IVP New Testament commentary series. Downers Grove, Ill.: InterVarsity Press.).
In salvation we leave the life of habitual sin and hold fast/cleave to Christ. In marriage, a new family is begun and the relationships of the former families are to be severed as far as primary authority and responsibilities are concerned. Parents are always to be loved and cared for, but they are no longer to control the lives of their children once they are married.
In Ephesians 5:25–33 the topic of marriage actually is intended to be illustrative of Christ's love for His Church. In it, we see 1) The Manner of Christ's Love (Ephesians 5:25–31) and 2) The Motive of Christ's Love (Ephesians 5:32-33) for His "Glorious Church".
Using the illustration of Marriage, we can understand:
1) The Manner of Christ's Love for His Glorious Church (Ephesians 5:25–31)
Ephesians 5:25-31 [25] Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, [26] that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, [27] so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. [28] In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. [29] For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, [30] because we are members of his body. [31]"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." (ESV)
• We will spend most of our time in this first point.
The command in Ephesians 5:25a for husbands, to love your wives, continues Paul’s explanation of the mutual submission mentioned in verse 21. This is a PRESENT ACTIVE IMPERATIVE which is the only IMPERATIVE in the paragraph. The husband should set the spiritual atmosphere in the home by continuing to love his wife as Christ loved the church (Utley, R. J. D. (1997). Vol. Volume 8: Paul Bound, the Gospel Unbound: Letters from Prison (Colossians, Ephesians and Philemon, then later, Philippians). Study Guide Commentary Series (130). Marshall, Texas: Bible Lessons International.).
The quality of the love that husbands are required to give to their wives is first shown by the word that is used for love. Three other words might have been used in Greek for the love of husband for wife, and classical writers would more naturally have used them. There was the word erao that expressed the deep sexual passion of man for woman, and the words phileo and storgeo were used for affection within the family. None of these is used here; instead Paul chooses the typically Christian word agapao, love that is totally unselfish, that seeks not its own satisfaction, nor even affection answering affection, but that strives for the highest good of the one loved. This love has as its standard and model the love of Christ for his church. ‘It means not only a practical concern for the welfare of the other, but a continual readiness to subordinate one’s own pleasure and advantage for the benefit of the other. It implies patience and kindliness, humility and courtesy, trust and support (1 Cor. 13:4–7). This love means that one is eager to understand what the needs and interests of the other are, and will do everything in his power to supply those needs and further those interests’(Foulkes, F. (1989). Vol. 10: Ephesians: An introduction and commentary. Tyndale New Testament Commentaries (162–163). Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.) To “love” (??apa^te, agapate) is to care for the needs of someone, even when that person is unlovely and undeserving. This divine kind of love is not motivated by self-interest or the attractiveness of the one loved, but by a sincere interest in that person’s well being. Love based on self-interest will fail whenever the object of love fails to gratify selfish lusts. Love based only on attractiveness will fail whenever the object of love grows older, fatter, sicker, or balder. True agape love can include sexual desire and appreciation for attractiveness, but it is based on a permanent concern for the one loved. It is the only kind of love that goes on loving whether circumstances are better or worse, whether richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, until death parts the lovers (Boles, K. L. (1993). Galatians & Ephesians. The College Press NIV commentary (Eph 5:25). Joplin, Mo.: College Press.).
Jesus Christ loved the church before He brought the church into existence. The use of a past tense form of loved to some might suggest Christ’s love of the church at one time but not later. Yet, He chose and loved His own even “before the foundation of the world” (1:4), because God’s love is eternally present, having no past and no future (Bratcher, R. G., & Nida, E. A. (1993). A handbook on Paul's letter to the Ephesians. UBS handbook series; Helps for translators (141). New York: United Bible Societies).
Christ loves the Church with a a) Sacrificial (5:25b) b) Purifying (5:26–27) c) Caring (5:28–30) and d) Unbreakable Love (5:31) that tells us how far he went in showing His love for "The Glorious Church". This picture of this love is applied in Ephesians 5:25–31 to show husbands how they likewise must love their wives.
Christ first shows a:
a) Sacrificial Love (5:25b)
Ephesians 5:25b [25] (Husbands, love your wives, as) Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, (ESV)
The world’s love is always object–oriented. A person is loved because of physical attractiveness, personality, wit, prestige, or some other such positive characteristic. In other words, the world loves those whom it deems worthy of love. Such love is necessarily fickle. As soon as a person loses a positive characteristic—or that characteristic is no longer appealing—the love based on the characteristic also disappears. It is because so many husbands and wives have only that kind of fickle love for each that their marriages fall apart. As soon as a partner loses his or her appeal, love is gone, because the basis for the love is gone. God’s love is not of that sort:
Romans 5:7-8 [7]For one will scarcely die for a righteous person--though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die-- [8]but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (ESV)
In Ephesians 5:25, the verb ‘gave’, together with the reflexive pronoun ‘himself’, stresses the fact that Christ took the initiative in handing himself over to death (5:1, 2). He went to the cross as the willing victim, and this action on behalf of his people was the supreme demonstration of his love for them. Such self-sacrificing love provided the earlier warrant for calling all believers to serve one another in love as they imitate God (vv 1, 2). Now it furnishes the basis for the exhortation to husbands to sacrifice their own interests for the welfare of their wives. Their love, which is modelled on Christ’s love for the church, means they will be willing to make even the ultimate sacrifice of life itself (O'Brien, P. T. (1999). The letter to the Ephesians. The Pillar New Testament commentary (419–420). Grand Rapids, Mich.: W.B. Eerdmans Publishing Co.).
• To follow this analogy in the action tenses provided, means that as Men, we take initiative to self-sacrificially give of our selves. Not slothfully, or in distraction waiting to be nagged, but first looking to the welfare or others.
• The substitutionary atonement of Christ was accomplished once for His bride on the cross (Heb 9:28). No one can repeat that saving action, but we may follow Jesus’ model of self-sacrifice, giving up our physical life for the sake of another. (This is a model of self-sacrifice up to and including an ultimate sacrifice if necessary. Lesser acts of selflessness would also be included) (Liefeld, W. L. (1997). Vol. 10: Ephesians. The IVP New Testament commentary series. Downers Grove, Ill.: InterVarsity Press.).
For "The Glorious Church", Christ shows a:
b) Purifying Love (5:26–27)
Ephesians 5:26-27 [26] that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, [27] so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. (ESV)
The first of the three purpose clauses states that Christ gave himself up for the church in order to ‘sanctify her’. The basic idea of this verb ‘sanctify or make holy’ is that of setting someone apart to God for his service. Christians are described as those who are ‘sanctified in Christ Jesus’ (1 Cor. 1:2), whom God has set apart for himself in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ (1 Cor. 6:11). (O'Brien, P. T. (1999). The letter to the Ephesians. The Pillar New Testament commentary (420). Grand Rapids, Mich.: W.B. Eerdmans Publishing Co.).
Closely related to Christ’s sanctifying work is his ‘cleansing’ the church ‘by the washing of water with/through the word’. Cleansing points to the removal of sin, while sanctification focusses on being set apart to God. To use systematic theological categories, it is positional or definitive sanctification that is in view here, not progressive sanctification (O'Brien, P. T. (1999). The letter to the Ephesians. The Pillar New Testament commentary (421–422). Grand Rapids, Mich.: W.B. Eerdmans Publishing Co.). (In Ephesians 5:26 there is an allusion to Baptism), in which the bestowal of the Spirit and baptism in water play a central part—the baptism involving not only the external washing but the inward and spiritual grace which it signifies. When Ananias of Damascus said to Paul, “Rise and be baptized, and wash away your sins, calling on his name” (Acts 22:16), he implied that the external washing symbolized the more important inward cleansing from sin. And the participial clause, “calling on his name” (that is, the name of Christ), throws light on the phrase “by/with the word” in our present text: the “word” or “utterance” is the convert’s confession of the name of Christ as baptism is administered (Bruce, F. F. (1984). The Epistles to the Colossians, to Philemon, and to the Ephesians. The New International Commentary on the New Testament (388). Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co.). This is the “word of faith” (Ro 10:8, 9, 17), of which confession is made in baptism, and which carries the real cleansing (Jn 15:3; 17:17) and regenerating power (1Pe 1:23; 3:21) (Jamieson, R., Fausset, A. R., Fausset, A. R., Brown, D., & Brown, D. (1997). A commentary, critical and explanatory, on the Old and New Testaments (Eph 5:26). Oak Harbor, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc.)
Christ’s cleansing of believers is not ceremonial and symbolic, but real and complete. The cleansing of Christ's Church is to make us fit to be presented to Christ as His own beloved and eternal bride, to dwell in His glorious presence forever (cf Rev. 21:1ff.).
1 John 1:9 [9] If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (ESV)
• It is through the confession of sin, that we are cleansed.
Now in order to understand verse 27 that “he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing” it is necessary to review the marriage customs implied in Scripture. First, there was the betrothal. This was considered more binding than “engagement” with us. The terms of the marriage are accepted in the presence of witnesses and God’s blessing is pronounced upon the union. From this day groom and bride are legally husband and wife (II Cor. 11:12). Next comes the interval between betrothal and the wedding-feast. The groom may have selected this period to pay the dowry to the father of the bride, that is, if this had not already been done (Gen. 34:12). Then there is the preparation and procession with a view to the wedding feast. The bride prepares and adorns herself. The groom also arrays himself in his best attire, and, accompanied by his friends, who sing and bear torches, proceeds to the home of the betrothed. He receives the bride and conveys her, with a returning procession, to the place where the wedding-feast will be held. Finally, the great event arrives: the wedding-feast itself, including the wedding-banquet. The festivities may last seven or even twice seven days (Matt. 22:1–14) (Hendriksen, W., & Kistemaker, S. J. (1953-2001). Vol. 7: New Testament commentary : Exposition of Ephesians. New Testament Commentary (252–253). Grand Rapids: Baker Book House.). All this speaks to preparation: that Christ might “present the church to himself himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing ”. In Eph. 1:4 the purpose for which God chose his people in Christ “before the world’s foundation” is said to be that they should be “holy and blameless before him.” Similarly, in Col. 1:22, believers are told that Christ has reconciled them to God by his death “in order to present you holy, blameless, and irreproachable in his presence”—and there, be it noted (as in Eph. 5:27), it is Christ who presents them. The adjectives which are used in the plural in those two passages to describe individual believers are used here in the singular to describe the church (Bruce, F. F. (1984). The Epistles to the Colossians, to Philemon, and to the Ephesians. The New International Commentary on the New Testament (390). Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co.).
• This is important, for we cannot point to a collective or national status of the Church as an excuse for neglecting sanctification. God desires and has given the necessary tools for individual progressive holiness. A collective or national failure of the Church would only therefore be attributable to individual neglect to pursue holiness.
In Ephesians 5:27, the hearer or reader is called to think of the preparations that a bride makes for her marriage that she may appear before her husband in all her beauty. She wants to be seen lovely and in splendour, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing. So the church is to appear before her heavenly bridegroom (cf. Rev. 21:2). ... The word translated in splendour (endoxon) speaks of honour, of glory, of beauty, but it is implied that the church owes ‘all her glory to His work’ (Foulkes, F. (1989). Vol. 10: Ephesians: An introduction and commentary. Tyndale New Testament Commentaries (164). Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.)
Spots, wrinkles, and the like are physical blemishes which might make an earthly bride distasteful to her bridegroom; here they are spiritual and ethical defects, which have been removed by the Lord’s sanctifying and cleansing act. The world about the church causes the spots/stains, the flesh still in her causes the wrinkles. Yet the terms denote what is only on the surface, what may thus be removed, and not what is in the inner being (positionally). Nevertheless, these are blemishes, and they cannot remain (Lenski, R. C. H. (1937). The interpretation of St. Paul's Epistles to the Galatians, to the Ephesians and to the Philippians (635–636). Columbus, O.: Lutheran Book Concern.).
The purpose of his sanctifying and cleansing act has been achieved: that the church should be “holy and without blemish/blameless.” The negative terms “spot” and “wrinkle” are figurative; the corresponding positive terms are literal: “holy and without blemish/blameless. “Holy” is hagia (???a), “separate from evil”; “without blemish,” amomos (?µ?µ??), “faultless, unblamable,” namely, free from faultiness, as a sacrificial animal without blemish. The Church is to be a pleasing offering to God (Wuest, K. S. (1997). Wuest's word studies from the Greek New Testament : For the English reader (Eph 5:25). Grand Rapids: Eerdmans.).
Please turn to Titus 3
Divine love does not simply condemn wrong in those loved but seeks to cleanse them from it. Christ’s great love for His church does not allow Him to be content with any sin, any moral or spiritual impurity in it. The word is the agent of this sanctification. As Paul instructed the Church in Titus 3:
Titus 3:2-8 [2]to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people. [3] For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. [4]But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, [5]he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, [6]whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, [7]so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life. [8] The saying is trustworthy, and I want you to insist on these things, so that those who have believed in God may be careful to devote themselves to good works. These things are excellent and profitable for people. (ESV)
• Saving grace makes believers holy through the cleansing agency of the Word of God, so that they may be presented to Christ as His pure Bride, forever to dwell in His love. It is with that same purpose and in that same love that husbands are to cultivate the purity, righteousness, and sanctity of their wives.
Poem: Christ has paid the dowry for her. He has bought the one who is essentially — is to be eschatologically — his bride. As the Hymn describes:“ From heaven he came and sought her To be his holy bride; With his own blood he bought her, And for her life he died,” (Samuel J. Stone, lines taken from the hymn, “The Church’s One Foundation.”)
For "The Glorious Church", Christ shows a:
c) Caring Love (5:28–30)
Ephesians 5:28-30 [28] In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. [29] For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, [30] because we are members of his body. (ESV)
Husbands have already been exhorted to love their wives (v 25a). The warrant and example for this admonition are Christ’s sacrificial love for the church (vv 25b–27). Now in Ephesians 5:28, the concluding application ties these two concepts together (in the same way) is drawn from Christ’s love as husbands are urged again to love their wives. Christ sees the church in all her weaknesses and failures, and yet loves her as his body, and seeks her true sanctification. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies (Foulkes, F. (1989). Vol. 10: Ephesians: An introduction and commentary. Tyndale New Testament Commentaries (165). Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.).
This is not meaning: they should love their own wives just as they love their own bodies, but they should love their own wives, as being their own bodies. Husbands should love their wives for what they are and should also love them sufficiently to help them to become what they should be. (Hendriksen, W., & Kistemaker, S. J. (1953-2001). Vol. 7: New Testament commentary : Exposition of Ephesians. New Testament Commentary (254). Grand Rapids: Baker Book House.). That is the main point of vv 25–27 is driven home as Paul reinforces his assertion with a verb that stresses obligation: ‘husbands should/ought to love their wives’. The statement applies the second great commandment, ‘You shall love your neighbour as yourself’ (Lev. 19:18), in a direct way to the love which the husband should have for his nearest and dearest neighbour, namely, his wife. But, the expression ‘as their own bodies’ instead of ‘as themselves’ (the equivalent in the Leviticus text) is presumably due to the influence of Genesis 2:24, which is cited in v 31. This Old Testament Scripture declares that in marriage husband and wife are ‘one flesh’. In the context of Ephesians 5 ‘flesh’ and ‘body’ are equivalent (note the shift to ‘flesh’ in v 29a). Husband and wife, then, are regarded as one person, a single entity. Accordingly, the husband’s obligation to love his wife as his own body is not simply a matter of loving someone else just like he loves himself. It is, in fact, to love himself. (O'Brien, P. T. (1999). The letter to the Ephesians. The Pillar New Testament commentary (426). Grand Rapids, Mich.: W.B. Eerdmans Publishing Co.).
He is not exhorting the husband to love his wife as an extension of self-love, or because it is to his own advantage. Again the word agapao, used for love, shows that this is not the case. A man should seek his own highest spiritual welfare, and so the highest good of his wife in every way, as united with himself in the marriage bond. His wife is not a person lower in social status, much less one over whom he has rights of ownership, but a part of himself. (Foulkes, F. (1989). Vol. 10: Ephesians: An introduction and commentary. Tyndale New Testament Commentaries (165). Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.)
The aspects of this love is spelled out in Ephesians 5:29. Christ nurtures and tenderly cares for his body, the church. He is both its Head and Saviour (1:22–23; 4:15; 5:23). He “nourishes,” to maturity. To “nourish” (??t??fe?, ektrephei) means to feed, protect, and provide for. ... To “cherish” originally meant to keep warm ... Just as a man instinctively does these things for his body, so must he be concerned for every aspect of his wife’s well-being: physical, mental, emotional, social, and spiritual (Boles, K. L. (1993). Galatians & Ephesians. The College Press NIV commentary (Eph 5:29). Joplin, Mo.: College Press.).
• Applied to one another in the body of Christ is would mean being attentive to the physical, mental, emotional, social, and spiritual as well.
• Paul is, however, not thinking only of supplying the body with barely enough food, clothing and shelter to enable it to eke out a mere existence; he refers instead to the bounteous, elaborate, unremitting, and sympathetic care we bestow on our bodies (Hendriksen, W., & Kistemaker, S. J. (1953-2001). Vol. 7: New Testament commentary : Exposition of Ephesians. New Testament Commentary (254–255). Grand Rapids: Baker Book House.)
• In the link to the Church, since the provision is so bountiful, we should carefully nourish and cherish the ministry opportunity provided. Not thinking of ministry as the scraps that are left over from the rest of our lives, but it would be a true biblical tithe as the first or our efforts, time, attention and resources.
• ‘Flesh’ here has its non-ethical sense, practical actions for the body.”. Not merely relying on untangible tools of prayer, study or discussion, there must be physical actions of genuine care and provision that God expects in our care for one another (Wuest, K. S. (1997). Wuest's word studies from the Greek New Testament : For the English reader (Eph 5:28). Grand Rapids: Eerdmans.).
Christ provides for us as His church as Ephesians 5:30 says because we are members of His body (cf. Rom 12:4–5; I Cor 12:12–27). The introduction of the first person plural into the discussion in v 30 with ensues, “we are,” may well be intended to underline for the letter’s recipients their own participation in the reality of Christ’s loving care for his body and to emphasize that what has been said in the preceding argument about the Church applies to them, because they are, in fact, members of this privileged community, Christ’s body (Lincoln, A. T. (2002). Vol. 42: Word Biblical Commentary : Ephesians. Word Biblical Commentary (380). Dallas: Word, Incorporated )
• The natural tendency in hearing about Christ's loving care for His church and collective ministry is then think that it is someone else's responsibility to care for the Church. But Paul individualizes ministry responsibility to every member.
But how are we members of His body?
Galatians 2:20 [20]I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. (ESV)
Not to provide for His church would be not to provide for Himself. He shares common life with His church, and we are members of His body, His flesh and bones, His present incarnation on earth. Paul said
1 Corinthians 6:17 [17] But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. (ESV)
• The church as a physical body is one of Paul’s corporate metaphors which stresses unity amidst diversity (cf. I Cor. 12:12–27) (Utley, R. J. D. (1997). Vol. Volume 8: Paul Bound, the Gospel Unbound: Letters from Prison (Colossians, Ephesians and Philemon, then later, Philippians). Study Guide Commentary Series (131). Marshall, Texas: Bible Lessons International.).
For "The Glorious Church", Christ shows a:
d) Unbreakable Love (5:31)
Ephesians 5:31 [31]"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." (ESV)
The word “therefore” does not connect with anything here in 5:31. It belongs to the Genesis context. In this direct quotation from Genesis 2:24 Paul emphasized the permanence as well as the unity of Christ's relationship to "The Glorious Church" to what He intends marriage to be. Just as God's love for His church has not changed, God’s standard for marriage did not change from the time of Adam until the time of Paul, and it has not changed to this day. Proskollao (hold fast/cleave) literally means to be glued or cemented together. Husbands and wives are to leave their parents and to hold fast/cleave to, be cemented to, each other. The marriage tie takes precedence over every other human relationship and for this reason is to be regarded as (unbreakable). Nevertheless, what is basically a divine ordinance is graciously designed for mutual satisfaction and delight…It is because of this exalted biblical view of marital relations that the church has taken its stand on the indissolubility of the marital bond and the (forbidding) of polygamy, adultery, or divorce (outside of explicit biblical grounds). (Wood, A. S. (1981). Ephesians. In F. E. Gaebelein (Ed.), The Expositor’s Bible Commentary: Ephesians through Philemon (Vol. 11, p. 78). Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House.)
Please turn to Matthew 19
Just as the body of Christ is indivisible, God’s ideal design for marriage is that it be indivisible. As Christ is one with His church, husbands are one with their wives. Therefore when a husband harms his wife he harms himself. When a man and woman are joined in marriage, Jesus said:
Matthew 19:6-9 [6] So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate." [7] They said to him, "Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?" [8] He said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. [9] And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery." (ESV)
• Jesus made clear that God, through Moses, only “permitted” divorce; He never “commanded” it, as Jewish leaders had claimed for hundreds of years. The bill of divorcement was to protect the offended wife, who would then be allowed to marry again without becoming guilty of adultery. That is the only provision that either Moses or Jesus gives for divorce. That is the sort of bond God ordained for marriage. It is not everlasting as far as eternity is concerned, but it is lasting as far as the earthly lives of the husband and wife are concerned. Though He has made provision for divorce in the cases of unrepentant and continued adultery (Matt. 5:31–32; 19:4–10) and the departure of an unbelieving spouse (1 Cor. 7:15), death is God’s only desired dissolution for marriage.
Illustration: When it was built for an international exposition, the structure was called monstrous by the citizens of the city, who demanded it be torn down as soon as the exposition was over. Yet from the moment its architect first conceived it, he took pride in it and loyally defended it from those who wished to destroy it. He knew it was destined for greatness. Today it is one of the architectural wonders of the modern world and stands as the primary landmark of Paris, France. The architect, of course, was Alexandre Gustave Eiffel. His famous tower was built in 1889.
In the same way we are struck by Jesus’ loyalty to another structure—the church—which he entrusted to an unlikely band of disciples, whom he defended, prayed for, and prepared to spread the gospel. To outsiders they (and we) must seem like incapable blunderers. But Jesus, the architect of the church, knows this structure is destined for greatness when He returns (Larson, C. B. (2002). 750 engaging illustrations for preachers, teachers & writers (60). Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books.).
Finally, using the illustration of Marriage, we can understand:
2) The Motive of Christ's Love for His Glorious Church (5:32–33)
Ephesians 5:32-33 [32] This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. [33] However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (ESV)
Please turn to Revelation 21
As Paul has pointed out in vv. 23–29, marriage is a picture of the church and its relationship to Christ. This mystery—was unknown to the saints of the Old Covenant but is now revealed—is great (cf. Col. 1:26-27). God’s new people, the church, are brought into His kingdom and His family through faith in Christ. He is the Bridegroom and they are His bride. A previously unknown understanding of Gen 2:24 is being divulged, an understanding different from the surface meaning. ( Talbert, C. H. (2007). Ephesians and Colossians (p. 143). Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic.) God does not exist to make much of marriage; marriage exists to show the world the glory of Christ and his church. (DeYoung, K. (2013). Ephesians. In B. Chapell & D. Ortlund (Eds.), Gospel Transformation Bible: English Standard Version (p. 1593). Wheaton, IL: Crossway.)
John explained this new reality in Revelation 21:
Revelation 21:1-8 [21:1] Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. [2] And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. [3] And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. [4] He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." [5] And he who was seated on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new." Also he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true." [6] And he said to me, "It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment. [7] The one who conquers will have this heritage, and I will be his God and he will be my son. [8]But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death." (ESV)
• For those who are born twice, they will die once. For those who are born once, they will die twice.
A husband’s greatest motive for loving, purifying, protecting, and caring for his wife is Christ’s love, purifying, protecting, and caring for His own bride, the church. Christian marriage is to be loving, holy, pure, self–sacrificing, and mutually submissive because those virtues characterize the relationship of Christ and the church. The main point this passage makes about marriage is not the distinct roles of husband and wife but rather the unity between them, unity as seen in the one-flesh-ness of the creation story, unity as between a head and a body, unity as between Christ and the church. (Roberts, M. D. (2016). Ephesians. (S. McKnight, Ed.) (p. 205). Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.) God ordained human marriage, not merely for pragmatic, social, or procreative reasons (important as all those are), but so that the human race might have a picture of just how much Christ loves his church, and of how the church, in return, loves and follows Christ. That is why Paul can say that, in all his discussion of marriage, “refers to Christ and the church.”…When you attend a wedding and see the bride dressed in dazzling white, looking up into her bridegroom’s eyes—loving him, trusting him, believing in him—you see a picture of how the church ought to look into Christ’s eyes. When you hear the groom making those incredible vows—to love this young woman, to honor her, to cherish her all his days—you hear just a glimpse of Jesus’ commitment to his church! Moreover, the same picture will be painted, sixty years later, when he comes every day to the nursing home and spoons out her oatmeal, bite by bite, and as she continues to look into his eyes with complete trust and faith! This is how Christ and the church relate to one another! God ordained human marriage so that we might see and understand that greater, spiritual marriage. (Strassner, K. (2014). Opening up Ephesians (pp. 119–120). Leominster: Day One.)
Finally, we can see that the sacred relationship between Christian husbands and wives is inextricably related to the sacred relationship between Christ and His church. Because of this great sacredness, Paul concludes in Ephesians 5:33, However/Nevertheless let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see to it that she respect her husband. The use of However/Nevertheless (plen) is intended to end the discussion and emphasize what in it is most essential to remember. If Christ’s love for the church is to be the model for husbands in its self-sacrifice, then it is also to be their pattern in relation to its goal (vv 26–27). Accordingly, Paul proceeds to spell out the goal of Christ’s sacrificial love for the church by means of three purpose clauses: that he might ‘sanctify her’ (v 26), ‘present her to himself’ in splendour (v 27a), and enable her to be ‘holy and blameless’ (v 27c). Christ loves the messy, flawed, broken church and is in the business of making it fully holy and blameless. He calls each of us to join him in this work, not just because the church is central to his plan but also because he cherishes the church. Rather than taking potshots at the bride of Christ, shouldn’t we find ways to affirm and embrace her? Rather than separating ourselves from the imperfect, wounded bride of Christ, shouldn’t we join Christ in his work of washing, cleaning, feeding, and caring for her? (Since) Christ loves the church so much that he gave up himself for her, shouldn’t we also? (Roberts, M. D. (2016). Ephesians. (S. McKnight, Ed.) (p. 218). Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.)
(Format Note: Some base commentary from MacArthur, J. (1996). Ephesians (291–307). Chicago: Moody Press.)
