The Failed Father Series

Someone once said that everyone is an example to others - some are GOOD examples, and some are BAD. And, believe it or not, bad examples can be good examples for us. For example, Eli was a “GOOD EXAMPLE” of a bad example of how to be a father. But before we get to Eli’s story (and what we can learn from it) we need talk about how important a GOOD father is to his family.

ILLUS: According to a couple of studies I've read - there’s a whole list of things Fathers can do to improve the lives of their children, but I’ll just list 4 here: 1) Fathers provide stimulating and exciting “rough & tumble” play - within limits. Children learn that biting and kicking and other forms of physical violence are not acceptable. They learn when enough is enough. 2) Boys learn from their fathers what it is to be a man - they learn about responsibility, achievement, assertiveness, and independence best from their fathers. A father has the authority and ability to disciple sons that women don’t. 3) When a daughter enjoys her father, she experiences a healthier femininity, she feels worthy of love, and she is able to trust. Daughters who are able to trust men normally, and thus grow up to often marry trustworthy men. (Professor David Popenoe in “Life Without Father”)

4) And according to another study, IF a father does not go to church, no matter how regular the mother is in her religious practices, only one child in 50 will be regular at church (“The American Church in Crisis” by David T. Olson)

Fathers ARE vital to the health of their family, and many fathers know that.

ILLUS: Family Circle Magazine did a survey of fathers in 2003 and found: * 94% felt that building their family was the most important thing they (as men) could do. * 71% said fatherhood was more demanding than they expected, * BUT 88% said fatherhood was more rewarding than they anticipated. * 90% said becoming a father made them want to be a better person and role model for their kids.

So, what we’re going to do this morning is look at what a good father should be by looking at the life of a man who wasn’t such a good father. A man named Eli. And we’re going to look at WHY he failed.

Now, 1st - how do we know that Eli wasn’t a good father? Well, God tells us so. I Samuel 2:12 tells us “Now the sons of Eli were worthless men. They did not know the LORD.”

HOW WORTHLESS WERE THEY? Well, they were priests and they stole from God. I Samuel 2:16-17 tells us “If a man said to (one of Eli’s sons), “Let them burn the fat first, and then take as much as you wish," he would say, "No, you must give it now, and if not, I will take it by force." Thus the sin of the young men was very great in the sight of the LORD, for the men treated the offering of the LORD with contempt.”

BUT WAIT… THERE’S MORE – the boys were sleeping around. 1 Samuel 2:22 says “Eli was very old, and he kept hearing all that his sons were doing to all Israel, and how they lay with the women who were serving at the entrance to the tent of meeting.

Eli’s sons were worthless men because they stole from God and they were sexually immoral!

But (wait a minute) maybe that wasn’t Eli’s fault! After all, there’s lots of fathers whose sons go off the reservation. There are fathers who have sons who behave badly because that’s what those boys chose to do. There are good fathers who’ve had bad sons. In fact, in Ezekiel chapter 18, God tells about good fathers who had bad sons, and good sons that had bad fathers. So… maybe this wasn’t Eli’s fault.

But no - in this case, it was Eli’s fault. God says to Eli “I gave to the house of your father all my offerings by fire from the people of Israel. Why then do YOU scorn my sacrifices and my offerings that I commanded for my dwelling, and HONOR YOUR SONS ABOVE ME by fattening yourselves on the choicest parts of every offering of my people Israel?’ I Samuel 2:28-29

You see, Eli’s sons were worthless men… and God held Eli responsible! The question of course is WHY? Why would this be Eli’s fault???

First - Eli never really “laid down the law” with his boys. He could have stopped them… but he didn’t. The closest he got was pleading with them to change. (Eli) said to them, "Why do you do such things? For I hear of your evil dealings from all these people. No, my sons; it is no good report that I hear the people of the LORD spreading abroad. If someone sins against a man, God will mediate for him, but if someone sins against the LORD, who can intercede for him?" I Samuel 2:23-25