Someone once said that everyone is an example to others - some are GOOD examples, and some are BAD. And, believe it or not, bad examples can be good examples for us. For example, Eli was a “GOOD EXAMPLE” of a bad example of how to be a father. But before we get to Eli’s story (and what we can learn from it) we need talk about how important a GOOD father is to his family.
ILLUS: According to a couple of studies I've read - there’s a whole list of things Fathers can do to improve the lives of their children, but I’ll just list 4 here: 1) Fathers provide stimulating and exciting “rough & tumble” play - within limits. Children learn that biting and kicking and other forms of physical violence are not acceptable. They learn when enough is enough. 2) Boys learn from their fathers what it is to be a man - they learn about responsibility, achievement, assertiveness, and independence best from their fathers. A father has the authority and ability to disciple sons that women don’t. 3) When a daughter enjoys her father, she experiences a healthier femininity, she feels worthy of love, and she is able to trust. Daughters who are able to trust men normally, and thus grow up to often marry trustworthy men. (Professor David Popenoe in “Life Without Father”)
4) And according to another study, IF a father does not go to church, no matter how regular the mother is in her religious practices, only one child in 50 will be regular at church (“The American Church in Crisis” by David T. Olson)
Fathers ARE vital to the health of their family, and many fathers know that.
ILLUS: Family Circle Magazine did a survey of fathers in 2003 and found: * 94% felt that building their family was the most important thing they (as men) could do. * 71% said fatherhood was more demanding than they expected, * BUT 88% said fatherhood was more rewarding than they anticipated. * 90% said becoming a father made them want to be a better person and role model for their kids.
So, what we’re going to do this morning is look at what a good father should be by looking at the life of a man who wasn’t such a good father. A man named Eli. And we’re going to look at WHY he failed.
Now, 1st - how do we know that Eli wasn’t a good father? Well, God tells us so. I Samuel 2:12 tells us “Now the sons of Eli were worthless men. They did not know the LORD.”
HOW WORTHLESS WERE THEY? Well, they were priests and they stole from God. I Samuel 2:16-17 tells us “If a man said to (one of Eli’s sons), “Let them burn the fat first, and then take as much as you wish," he would say, "No, you must give it now, and if not, I will take it by force." Thus the sin of the young men was very great in the sight of the LORD, for the men treated the offering of the LORD with contempt.”
BUT WAIT… THERE’S MORE – the boys were sleeping around. 1 Samuel 2:22 says “Eli was very old, and he kept hearing all that his sons were doing to all Israel, and how they lay with the women who were serving at the entrance to the tent of meeting.
Eli’s sons were worthless men because they stole from God and they were sexually immoral!
But (wait a minute) maybe that wasn’t Eli’s fault! After all, there’s lots of fathers whose sons go off the reservation. There are fathers who have sons who behave badly because that’s what those boys chose to do. There are good fathers who’ve had bad sons. In fact, in Ezekiel chapter 18, God tells about good fathers who had bad sons, and good sons that had bad fathers. So… maybe this wasn’t Eli’s fault.
But no - in this case, it was Eli’s fault. God says to Eli “I gave to the house of your father all my offerings by fire from the people of Israel. Why then do YOU scorn my sacrifices and my offerings that I commanded for my dwelling, and HONOR YOUR SONS ABOVE ME by fattening yourselves on the choicest parts of every offering of my people Israel?’ I Samuel 2:28-29
You see, Eli’s sons were worthless men… and God held Eli responsible! The question of course is WHY? Why would this be Eli’s fault???
First - Eli never really “laid down the law” with his boys. He could have stopped them… but he didn’t. The closest he got was pleading with them to change. (Eli) said to them, "Why do you do such things? For I hear of your evil dealings from all these people. No, my sons; it is no good report that I hear the people of the LORD spreading abroad. If someone sins against a man, God will mediate for him, but if someone sins against the LORD, who can intercede for him?" I Samuel 2:23-25
According to one source I read one of a father’s primary roles is to be the disciplinarian in the house. Dads are the enforcers.
ILLUS: I knew of a single dad whose 21-year-old son lived with him. They loved each other… but the son loved his marijuana, and one day, the boy was pulled over in front of their house. The dad went out to see what was going on and learned the son was driving erratically, and possessed marijuana. The police released the boy to his father’s recognizance and the father and son went back into the house together. The dad sat his boy down and explained how serious this was, but the boy replied: “I’m an adult now and I can do what I want to do.” This shocked the dad and he prayed long and hard about how to respond. The next day, the dad sat his son down and said: “You’re right… you are an adult. You can smoke, drink, take drugs, sleep around… but you can’t do it here. If this happens again, you’ll need to find another place to live.” That was hard for the father to say… but he knew the story of Eli and didn’t want God to be angry with him. The result? The boy quickly changed his attitude and they didn’t have a problem again.
Proverbs 19:18 says “Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.”
So first, Eli FAILED to discipline his sons, and when God punished his children Eli was at least partly at fault.
Secondly, Eli had done what his sons did. Notice what the prophet said to Eli in I Samuel 2 “You scorn my sacrifices and my offerings that I commanded for my dwelling, and honor your sons above me by fattening YOURSELVES on the choicest parts of every offering of my people Israel’ I Samuel 2:29
Yourselves? Yes... Eli had stolen from the sacrifices as well and he had fattened himself on the offerings. Later, when a messenger came back from a battle to say Eli’s sons were dead “Eli fell over backward from his seat … and his neck was broken and he died, for the man was old and heavy…” (1Samuel 4:18). Eli was “heavy.” That’s a polite way of saying… Eli was a FAT MAN. He’d eaten wayyyy too well of sacrifices he’d had no business eating. He shared in the sins of his sons.
Someone once noted that “Children are natural mimics - they act like us in spite of all our attempts to teach them good manners.” Children will imitate us!!! If a dad does something he shouldn’t be doing (immoral) it effects his kids – and not just at that point in their lives!! A father who engages in cursing or drugs/ alcohol or pornography creates an atmosphere that can damage their children’s lives.
ILLUS: At the first church I served, there was a man whose wife left him. She just walked away and left him with 3 young boys to raise. He was so upset he started coming to church looking for answers he fell in love with Jesus and he was baptized. He was excited about his new faith, but then (after awhile) he stopped coming for a month and I went out to visit with him. It seems a woman had moved in… and they had no intention of getting married. I explained that – now that he was a Christian he shouldn’t do that. He responded to me: “I don’t care about (ME) my soul as long as my kids are OK.”
I tried to explain to explain to him… that’s not the way it works. Deuteronomy 34:6-7 says “God (is) merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation."
In other words – God wants to forgive our sins, and He will forgive. But if we hate Him (i.e. if we deliberately disobey Him and don’t repent) it won’t just hurt us, it can affect our kids for years. And that’s one of the ways in which Eli failed his sons.
3rd – Eli failed to TEACH his sons about God. (PAUSE) But wait! He’s a priest… isn’t that what he’s supposed to do? Teach his kids??? Well yeah… you’d think so. But we’re told that: The sons of Eli were worthless men. They did not know the LORD.” 1 Samuel 2:12
They did not know the LORD? Why not? Because Eli didn’t do his job. Now, Eli’s in church all the time (after all, he was a priest of God/tabernacle). But for Eli, God was more of an acquaintance for him. Eli didn’t really LOVE God… he just did his religious thing. He went through the motions of faith and figured that was enough. Eli had just enough of God in his life to be inoculated against the real thing.
He lacked the childlike faith he needed to please God. What he needed was reflected in this cartoon I once read (Son) “God make me like my dad – big and strong and smart” (Dad) “LORD make me like my son – obedient, faithful, trusting”
Now, what I find it interesting: Eli was kind of like a father to Samuel, and yet, unlike Eli’s boys Samuel grew up to become a great man of God. At least 3 times in this section, we’re told “(Samuel) was ministering to the LORD in the presence of Eli the priest.” I Samuel 2:11: “Samuel was ministering before the LORD, a boy clothed with a linen ephod.” I Samuel 2:18; And “the boy Samuel was ministering to the LORD in the presence of Eli.” I Samuel 3:1
Samuel grew up ministering before the LORD in the Tabernacle
And yet all the time Samuel was ministering to the LORD Eli & his sons were next door doing bad stuff. And yet, despite of Eli’s bad behavior… we’re told:
• “The boy Samuel grew in the presence of the LORD.” I Samuel 2:21
• “And the boy Samuel continued to grow both in stature and in favor with the LORD and also with man. 1 Samuel 2:26
But, if Eli’s poor fathering practices were ruining his own 2 boys, how did Samuel become such a great man of God? Well, this part of the sermon is for those of you who aren't fathers... and I can tell by looking at this audience, there's a lot of you who aren't fathers, and this part of the sermon is for you. You can make the difference in the lives of children who don't have fathers... or whose fathers aren't quite the kind of men they should be.
You see, I believe it was his mother who made THE DIFFERENCE in his life. 1st – She TOOK Samuel to God. She didn’t just “take him to church”, she made God the center of his life. She said “I WILL BRING HIM, so that he may appear in the presence of the LORD and dwell there forever.” I Samuel 1:22
You can make a difference in the lives of all kinds of children if you personally decide to BRING them to the presence of the LORD. Do you have a grandchild you can bring to church with you? Nephews & nieces? Next door neighbors? Introduce them to the presence of the LORD.
ILLUS: I had a friend once who’d go to a nearby little town and get permission to take stray kids at the park to church. She'd get the permission of the parents, but the parents didn’t care… they’d go out and get drunk Saturday nights and would be in bed long into the afternoon. So, she’d invite them on Saturday and drop by on Sunday with the church bus. And if she had to, she’d get them a little breakfast. She’d end up bringing 20 or 30 kids to church every Sunday, and she sat with them in the front couple of rows. Now a lot of times the kids hadn’t had a bath in days… smelled. But they were in church. And when they grew up many still went to church.
Now, you don’t have to pick up STRAYS to bring to church. Start with the kids, grandkids, or neighbors you already have.
Just get them here!!! And let God take care of the rest. Echo Samuel’s mother’s words “I WILL BRING THEM!”
Involve yourselves with kids. Can you make cookies? Invite the neighbor kids over to make cookies with you... and then share those cookies with them. Kids love cookies. Then, once they realize you care for them - invite them to go to church with you.
A man once told of a man who'd invited him to church as a boy. There was nothing appealing to me about anything with “school” in it, so he made me another proposition -- one I liked a lot better. “Wanna play a game of marbles with me?” he asked. After he’d wiped me out in a couple games of marbles, he inquired, “Wanna learn how to play this game better?” By the time he’d taught me how to play marbles over the next few days, he’d built such a relationship with me that I’d have gone anywhere he suggested. You know what that meant? I ended up in his Sunday School class with a dozen other boys, most of whom he’d magnetized in very much the same way. Of the 13 boys in that class, nine were from broken homes, and five were Roman Catholics. Eleven of those boys ended up in vocational Christian work. (“Say it with Love”, Howard Hendricks)
Do that, and you can change the life of a child… for eternity. So, 1st – she TOOK Samuel to God.
2ndly – she took Samuel to a place where he could do ministry. 1Samuel 2:18 says “Samuel was ministering before the LORD, a boy clothed with a linen ephod.” Little boys didn’t get linen ephods. Little boys didn’t get to do things for God in the tabernacle. But Samuel did. He may have just been a boy… but he was expected to do something. He had a job to do at the tabernacle, and so he became INVESTED in God. So, find things for your child/grandchild/neighbor to DO for God.
Lastly - she gave Samuel a VISION of the purpose his HEAVENLY FATHER had for him. She made God to be Samuel’s father figure. Every year when she came to the Tabernacle his mother would probably say the same thing “Samuel… you were an answer to prayer, and I love you so much I gave you to God. YOU BELONG TO GOD. He is your heavenly Father.
A child – who has a vision of who they are, and who realizes God is their FATHER and has a purpose for their lives - when God is really their Father - they’ll become great men/women for God. AND YOU CAN HELP THEM BE THOSE GREAT CHILDREN OF GOD.
