Tackling The Problem Areas In Marriage Without Attacking Each Other Series

NOTES

THE LANGUAGE OF MARRIAGE SERIES – Part 1

Dr. Tom Bartlett

May 15, 2022

Matthew 12:25 (NLT) 25Jesus knew their thoughts and replied, “Any kingdom divided by civil war is doomed. A town or family splintered by feuding will fall apart.”

Typical Problem Areas in Marriage

· Communication

· Intimacy

· Money

· In-laws

· Children

Tackling the Problem Areas without Attacking Each Other By:

Adjusting your communication style

Ephesians 4:29 (KJV) Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

“Communication” – originally from the verb, “to share”

Ephesians 5:1-2 (NLT) Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. 2Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.

Colossians 3:19 (NLT) 19Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly.

Speaking words of thanks to achieve intimacy

Ephesians 5:3-4 (NLT) Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people. 4Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes—these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God.

Intimacy – “into – me – you – see”

Ephesians 5:31–33 (NLT) 31As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Ephesians 2:16–18 (NLT) 16Together as one body, Christ reconciled both groups to God by means of his death on the cross, and our hostility toward each other was put to death. 17He brought this Good News of peace to you Gentiles who were far away from him, and peace to the Jews who were near. 18Now all of us can come to the Father through the same Holy Spirit because of what Christ has done for us.

Voicing my worship to God not greed

Ephesians 5:5 (NLT) 5You can be sure that no immoral, impure, or greedy person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God. For a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world.

Ephesians 4:28 (NLT) If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need.

Teaching obedience while I model submission

Ephesians 5:21 (NLT) And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Ephesians 6:1–4 (NLT) Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. 2“Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: 3If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.” 4Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.

Next Step: Today I begin attacking the problem and not the person.

MANUSCRIPT

THE LANGUAGE OF MARRIAGE SERIES – Part 1

Dr. Tom Bartlett

May 15, 2022

Good morning and welcome to the Celebration! I’m Tom Bartlett, one of the pastors here. I want to welcome you to a new series starting today called, The language of love.

Maybe you’ve heard of Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages. Now, we’re not talking about that book or its content in this series, however, I do highly recommend the book!

In this series, we will focus on a common language and getting on the same page when it comes to marriage, which BTW has implications for all relationships.

Now, in marriage, many words are said, and it seems at times, few are understood. For instance, when he says,

“Can I help with dinner?” What he means is, “is the food ready yet?

When she says, “nothing”, to the question, “what’s wrong?”, what she really means is, “it’s very complicated but you did something a few weeks ago, (which he probably is oblivious to), but I’m not going to tell you, because if you truly loved me, you’d figure it out!”

Now, I may be exaggerating a little, but we all know that understanding in any relationship is vital. Because the smallest of leaks can bring down a big ship, a tiny crack can lead to the floodgates crumbling.

Jesus gave some advice to the religious types that were trying to upend Him. They accused Him of working with Satan, and Jesus makes a statement that is so true and applicable to relationships.