Sound Communication Series

7 SENSES OF MARRIAGE : SOUND COMMUNICATION

TALKING AND HEARING

JANUARY 16, 2022, 9:30AM

ED AND LISA YOUNG

ED YOUNG:

Thank you so much for being here today. We're talking about communication in marriage and if you're single, or if you are a student, if you're talking to someone, if it's official, if you're dating, whatever you want to say, this is a very important topic because communication obviously, but just think about it for a second, will take your entire life and you have your entire marriage, to work out communication and the challenges of communication.

LISA YOUNG:

So as we're in this series, The 7 Senses Of Marriage. We're talking about communication today; speaking and hearing. So, as you said, if you're single, if you're a student, communication is a part of everything we do. And so, when you practice good communication when you're young, you tend to carry that with you as you grow older and then hopefully perfect it as the days roll off the calendar. Is that right?

ED YOUNG:

Exactly and many people here Lisa, are in different situations. Some of you really are struggling with communication. It's been a struggle in our marriage, even though that's what I do for a living. It's not been easy for the last 40 years to always communicate tactfully, timely, lovingly, beautifully.

LISA YOUNG:

Do you think sometimes people think that because we've spoken on marriage, we teach on marriage it's like-

ED YOUNG:

Definitely.

LISA YOUNG:

Oh, wow. I'm sure they never argue. I'm sure they never have a cross word.

ED YOUNG:

I guarantee it.

LISA YOUNG:

I'm sure they never name call. All these different things.

ED YOUNG:

And that's not true.

LISA YOUNG:

I am here to testify that that is not true. We struggle with the very same things in our marriage that everybody else does.

ED YOUNG:

We do. I've been reading and talking, as Lisa has as well. We've talked to a lot of great Christian counselors, a lot of pastors, a lot of marital experts and basically there are four areas where we tend to have discussions or arguments.

ED YOUNG:

The first I want to talk about is the social issues. Maybe one is more social than the other. You might think, well, okay, that's not a big deal. It is though, Lisa, because all of a sudden you can get into those conflicts about, let's say, I want to have someone over or I want to do this and you're like, "No." Then I'm like, "Yeah. If you would just more social."

LISA YOUNG:

I think in our relationships, the social aspect is not so much about the hospitality of inviting people into our homes, because you and I are about equal on that. I was about to say what I get frustrated with.

ED YOUNG:

Say it.

LISA YOUNG:

But that would not be appropriate.

ED YOUNG:

Say it.

LISA YOUNG:

Okay. All right, I will. Thank you for the permission. But Ed will talk to anyone, at any time. Anybody. If we're flying on an airplane, the person sitting next to him or it could be even across the aisle. "Oh, I like your shoes. Tell me about your shoes." What you know... Before you could. Now you can't hardly hear anybody.

ED YOUNG:

Now it's like, "I like your shoes." "What'd you say?" "I like your shoes. They're pretty cool."

LISA YOUNG:

Yeah. Yeah.

ED YOUNG:

Thank you, Dr. Fauci.

LISA YOUNG:

Pull your mask down and eat something and we'll talk. So anyway, or we go into a store. He's going to have a conversation that's going to last and last and last.

ED YOUNG:

And sometimes you'll be like, "Let's go." I'm like, I know I'm getting into a good conversation.

LISA YOUNG:

Invariably, it ends up being a very positive thing. The conversation breaks the ice, kind of allows for deeper conversations, but that's just not the way I roll.

LISA YOUNG:

I am the one who goes into the store, gets what I need and I'm back out because I've got other things to do.

ED YOUNG:

To me, it's an adventure going to the store.

LISA YOUNG:

It's an adventure for him.

ED YOUNG:

But anyway-

LISA YOUNG:

Social.

ED YOUNG:

I'm tell you, kids, newlyweds, those of us who've been married 40 years, this will be a constant issue. 69%, and this sounds like a depressing number, but it's not. 69% of all issues in marriage are redundant. In other words, you're not going to solve them.

ED YOUNG:

Lisa's not going to change me into an introvert. It's not going to happen and I'm not going to change her into this loud, laughing, asking people questions, joking around a lot or whatever, person.