Singles And Marriage Series

Singles and Marriage

Selected Scripture

(If you feel this sermon is helpful, you are welcome to visit https://danachau.thinkific.com/ for a free online course.)

Let me share what Christena Cleveland, associate professor at Duke University's Divinity School, wrote in her blog: "A couple of summers ago I visited a Dallas-area church.... the pastor gave a profound, rousing sermon on the beauty and holiness of marriage. Even as a single person, I was inspired by his sophisticated, lovely depiction of a Christ-centered marriage. It was that good!

At the end of the 40 minute sermon, the pastor looked up from his notes and began to ad lib: “I know that over 40% of you are single, so I should probably say something about singleness as well.”

My ears perked up. Since this pastor was such a scholarly guy and since he had just given an exceptionally thoughtful sermon on marriage, I just knew that his brief thoughts on singleness would be equally profound. I leaned forward.

The pastor said, “Here’s what I want to say to all you single people: Don’t have sex before you get married. Then when you get married, make up for lost time. [wink, wink]”

Once the laughter died down, the pastor gave a benediction and returned to the pew where his wife awaited him.

Singles can often feel like an afterthought. Not given due value or attention. Not the way couples and marrieds are celebrated throughout the year: Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day and anniversaries.

Today we will learn what the Bible says about Singles and Marriage. This message is not just for singles, but for everyone. So that we would understand and value singles the way God does.

Here are some false beliefs about singles from Justin Holcomb's list of " Stupid Things People Say to Singles":

1. There’s sin in your life that God wants you to work through first. Once you work it out, he’ll bring you a spouse.

2. You’re too picky. You should probably lower your standards. You’re only interested in men/women who are above your level. You need to be more realistic about who you are and what kind of guy/woman you can expect to be interested in you.

3. You aren’t confident enough. If you liked you, guys/women would like you, too.

4. Guys are intimidated by you. The more you accomplish, the less guys will want to ask you out.

5. Maybe you’re not praying enough for a spouse.

There are various wrong beliefs from these sayings. One is that married people are more holy and blessed of God. Second is that all single people want to and should get married. Third is that there is something wrong with not being married.

This morning we will answer three introductory questions from God's Word about singles: Who are the singles? Why marry? And, Why choose singleness?

Let's start with, "Who are the singles?" Children, youth and young adults who are not married come to mind. But there are many others. And Jesus recognized them in Matthew 19.

The context of Matthew 19:1-12 is a conversation between the religious leaders and Jesus. The religious leaders asked Jesus, "What are legitimate reasons for divorce?" To which Jesus answered, "Unless adultery entered the marriage, God made marriage to be lifelong."

Then some of Jesus' disciples chimed in, "If we can't get out of marriage for reasons less than adultery, then we rather not get married." Here we see some people choose singleness because of the fear of being locked into an unhappy lifelong marriage.

Then we read Jesus responding to his disciples about other reasons for being single in verses 11-12: “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”

From verse 12, we see three other groups of singles. The first group are those born not able to engage in marital sex. These include those born with certain physical disabilities.

The second group of singles result from people-created circumstances. Commentators suggest these were castrated by men. But singles from people-created circumstances could include the loss of spouse, leaving behind widows, widowers or divorced. This second group could include those affected by society's definition of attractiveness, limiting those who are marriageable. This group could also include those affected by China's population control, leading to millions more men than women.

The third group of singles choose to remain single to serve God without the distraction of spouse and children. These include monks, nuns and priests. But they also include those not in full-time ministry. This singleness can be for a season or a lifetime.