Sexuality Of The Single Adult Series

Intro –

Continuing in our series entitled ‘Restoring the Gift of Sexuality’… and today we are going to consider the sexuality of single adults.’

Some may think… “Well this will be a short message.”

Perhaps you think singleness and sexuality is an oxymoron.

But as you may recall from our first week in his series… as declared in the creation account of Genesis …we are all sexual beings…

When do we become sexual…? Not through the covenant of marriage… not the creating of life… but when we were first conceived and created… as male or female.

You will never be a more sexual person.

I like how Rob Bell’s wife answered their five year old son… when he asked, ’Mom, what does sexy mean?’ She thought about it for a second and then replied,

’Sexy is when it feels good to be in your own skin. Your own body feels right, it feels comfortable. Sexy is when you love being you.’ (Rob Bell, SexGod, p 46)

Now I realize that being fully sexual and fully engaged in sexual pleasure are not the same thing. There are very real longings that lie in the heart of those who are single.

Let me note that single adults are a growing and diverse group.

There are 100 million single and unmarried adults in the U.S. (some living alone, some living with partners, families, roommates, etc.)… and the percentage is the fastest growing demographic in the United States… now at between 40 to 50%. - U.S. Census Bureau, 2003

It’s important to recognize that in referring to single adults… we are considering a very diverse set of life stages and circumstances…

• Younger single adults struggling… but also looking for some good sense about decisions

• Those in 40, 50s, and older… faced with different levels of resolve... as well as resentments

• Those divorced… widowed… who face the unique dynamic of having experienced a significant season of life of sexual intimacy in marriage

• There are a rapidly growing number of single parents… including single fathers.

Let me also note the difficulty of addressing those who do not have something they desire… namely marital partner… as one who is married…

I can understand the resentments… in part because I was a single adult and even a single adult as a pastor of this church, until I was 30… and I wrestled with those resentments…sometimes it was hard to hear those who were married say anything about sexual wholeness. Part of the dynamic can be that when we really long to be married… ANYTHING that is said about not being married is hard to hear… we kind of appreciate the issue being openly talked about… but it also brings up the deeper resentments towards where we find ourselves.

My hope is that you will know that I can understand those feelings… and know that some feelings may become felt towards myself as a voice in this… and I can live with that. My hope is that by acknowledging that up front… we might also rise above the natural resentments… and even cynicism… and be able to hear not so much to what I have to say… but what God really has in mind.

PRAY – ‘God…give us ears to hear what you are saying… and eyes to se what you see.’

I’m going to invite us to hear from a very long section from the Scriptures… from the Apostle Paul’s words to the people of Corinth. Using a more contemporary paraphrase translation called The Message, I have edited down parts of the sixth and seventh chapters…

1 Corinthians 6:13-20 (MSG)

Since the Master honors you with a body, honor him with your body! 14 God honored the Master’s body by raising it from the grave. He’ll treat yours with the same resurrection power. 15 Until that time, remember that your bodies are created with the same dignity as the Master’s body. You wouldn’t take the Master’s body off to a whorehouse, would you? I should hope not. 16 There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, "The two become one." 17 Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never "become one." 18 There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for "becoming one" with another. 19 Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. 20 God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.