Sermons on Joking:

Magi: Hope: Shopping For God

Contributed by Peter Loughman on Oct 27, 2006

The Magi

How can you tell a married man from a single man in a department store?A married man is holding a purse. Women just love to shop – Men hate to shop. Why is that? Women are gatherers. Men are hunters. Women have to look at each and every item on the rack even if there is no possibility that they ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 2:1-23

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

I Do Series

Contributed by Kent Kessler on Aug 30, 2007

WHAT AM I TO DO SINCE I HAVE BEEN SAVED? THESE NT PASSAGES SPEAK OF WHAT A BELIEVER IS TO BE ABOUT: "LET, LET US, KEEP ON, DO, DO NOT, BE, IF, LIVE, SHOULD" IN THE NT.

LET...’ Ephesians ...no one deceive you with empty words because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Therefore do not be partners with them. Philippians ...your gentleness be evident to all. Colossians ...your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with ...read more

Denomination: Methodist

A Chosen Generation #2: Worshippers Series

Contributed by C Jordan on Sep 7, 2007

Jesus was rejected by men, but He was chosen by God, and precious. You too may have been rejected by people, but you are chosen by God, too! We are called to offer up spiritual sacrifices of worship. What are those spiritual sacrifices?

A CHOSEN GENERATION #2: WORSHIPPERS JOKE: A southern pastor was completing a sermon on self-control. With great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river." With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take ...read more

Scripture: 1 Peter 2:4-9

Denomination: *other

A Chosen Generation #3: Body Builders Series

Contributed by C Jordan on Sep 16, 2007

God has called us to be body builders – to build up His body! When you become a Christian, you are not joining a religion, but becoming a part of a family. Like pieces of a puzzle, we are all fitted together in the body of Christ.

A CHOSEN GENERATION #3: BODY BUILDERS OPENING TEXT: “Coming to Him as to a living stone, rejected indeed by men, but chosen by God and precious, you also, as living stones, are being built up a spiritual house, a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus ...read more

Scripture: 1 Peter 4:8-11

Denomination: *other

Illness And Wellness Series

Contributed by Ed Wood on Nov 2, 2006

This message is the first in a series of four on “Illness Through the Eyes of Faith.”

ILLNESS AND WELLNESS Romans 12:1 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 INTRO: In the sitting area of a hospital lobby, a plaque hangs on the wall. It is the hospital statement of purpose. One of the stated purposes is to offer a “positive Christian interpretation of disease, disability, and death.” A man who ...read more

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Denomination: Baptist

Jesus The King

Contributed by Judith Hand on Nov 10, 2006

Jesus reveals he is a MEEK ,MOCKED,and MAJESTIC king as he fulfills his purpose at the end of his earthly ministry

SERMON : JESUS THE KING My grandfather used to say that he wished he knew where he was going to be when he died, and then he wouldn’t go there - (joking that he could avoid his death that way) But Jesus knew exactly where he would be when he died, and the scriptures tell us that he set his face ...read more

Denomination: Methodist

Question About The Virgin Mary Series

Contributed by Keith Foskey on Jun 6, 2005

Series answering questions from the congregation

Sermon Series: “Questioning the Faith” Sermon #7 “Question about the Virgin Mary” Text: Luke 1:26-30 OPENING JOKE: “King James Virgin” A ten-year old, who was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible because of her grandmother’s teaching, asked her grandmother: "Which Virgin was the mother of ...read more

Scripture: Luke 1:26-30

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

How Far Do You Have To Go To Be Used By God?

Contributed by Jim Butcher on Nov 29, 2005

This message looks at the calling God has placed on the lives of all Christians and how He wants us to use us right where we are.

- This passage is structured like a Big Mac: vv. 17, 20, 24 as the bread (pointing out that we are to remain in the situation where we were called) and vv. 18-19 and 21-23 as the meat (giving two illustrations of that). Three Questions On Being Used By God: 1. How many Christians are called? ...read more

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 7:17-24

Denomination: Baptist

Genesis 11 – Part 4 – Unity And Creativity At What Cost? Series

Contributed by Ross Cochrane on Feb 14, 2010

Let me get this straight. GOD LOVES UNITY, MY CREATIVE ABILITIES AND ENTERPRISE! He made me like this. So what is the big deal with stopping the tower of Babel being built?

Genesis 11 – Part 4 – UNITY AND CREATIVITY AT WHAT COST? What interests me in this passage is that God saw the unity of the people (Genesis 11:6), who had a single purpose and a single language, the ability to plan things and execute them efficiently and effectively, tremendous ...read more

Scripture: Genesis 11:1-9

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Part 11 - Matthew 8:19-20 - Does That Mean I Can’t Own My Own Home, Lord? Series

Contributed by Ross Cochrane on Mar 3, 2010

A man comes and wants to follow Jesus, and Jesus gives Him an obscure answer about birds nests and foxes dens and about having no place to sleep! What is He saying? IF I AM TO BE A DISCIPLE (A CHRIST FOLLOWER) I CAN NEVER OWN MY OWN HOME?

Part 11 - Matthew 8:19-20 - DOES THAT MEAN I CAN’T OWN MY OWN HOME, LORD? Here we go again! Jesus doing something totally unexpected! A man comes and wants to follow Him like the other disciples are following Jesus, and He gives him an obscure answer about birds nests and foxes dens and about ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 8:19-20

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

What Love Looks Like Series

Contributed by Billy Noel on Aug 9, 2009

We all have ideas of what love is, but Jesus uses an unlikely person by Jewish standards to illustrate what love looks like.

Karl Marx the philosopher, social scientist, historian and revolutionary is without a doubt the most influential socialist thinker to emerge in the 19th century. He gained a reputation as a socialist and seemed to be concerned about the poor and the working class while he himself sought a middle ...read more

Scripture: Luke 10:25-37

Denomination: Christian Church

In Tents Series

Contributed by Perry Greene on Apr 17, 2014

The shepherd's tent has great symbolism for our walk with God.

1. Sherlock Holmes' Stolen Tent Sherlock Holmes and his assistant Dr. Watson are camping. After enjoying a day of relaxation, they pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night, Holmes wakes Watson. "Watson, look up at the stars and tell me what you ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 27:4-5

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Diagnosis: You Have A Heart Problem! Series

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Aug 11, 2014

If you have a physical heart problem, you can ignore it and take the consequences or adjust to the problem and make the best of it; the same is true when it comes to our invisible, inner being.We are going to discuss this inner heart problem.

Diagnosis: You Have A Heart Problem! (Mark 7:14-23) 1. Joke: Man in church inherited 1 million dollars; afraid the shock would kill him… Asked pastor to break news. Pastor asked, “Charlie, if you inherited 1 million dollars, what would you do?” Charline: “Give ½ to ...read more

Scripture: Mark 7:14-23

Denomination: Independent/Bible

We Do Not Live To Ourselves Series

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on May 4, 2015

It is not just about “God and me,” as some less-than-social Christians might assert. In God’s Kingdom, our behavior affects others and their behavior affects us.

We Do Not Live to Ourselves (I Timothy 6:1-5) 1. Last week I was talking to Phyllis Roussakis….was going to find a Norwegian joke. 2. A Welshman, Scot and Englishman are walking when they come across a lantern and a genie pops out and grants them one wish each. The Scot says: “I am a ...read more

Scripture: 1 Timothy 6:1-5

Denomination: Independent/Bible

Who Me? Are You Kidding?

Contributed by Wade Martin Hughes, Sr on Mar 25, 2015

Who me? Are you kidding? The storms come and go? We can't not always see the positive in our situations? Defeat me seem sure? We have to learn to KEEP ON KEEPING ON... Yes, you --- if not you? Then who? If not now? Then when? If no here? Then where?

WHY STAY HERE? WHO ME? ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, HEAR THE MESSAGE OF DELIVERANCE... By Wade Martin Hughes, Sr. Kyfingers@aol.com What a start? Bad news? At the start of the 1954 baseball season in Cincinnati, Ohio: the Cincinnati Reds played the Milwaukee Braves. This was the first game for two ...read more

Scripture: Judges 6:8-18

Denomination: Assembly Of God