Sermons about Funny - SermonCentral.com

The Horse Leech

Contributed by Maurice Mccarthy on Nov 5, 2003

based on 64 ratings

| 16,869 views

A leech is a blood sucker. A disgusting parasite that attempts to suck the life out of you. For the bible tells us, "life is in the blood." The two main methods of removing leeches are fire and salt. The spiritual parallel to removing spiritual leeches is

The Horse Leech Proverbs 30:15 The horseleach hath two daughters, crying, Give, give.. This is a message about spiritual leeches that attempt to suck the spiritual life out of you. Illus: Administratium The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered. The element, tentatively named ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 30:15

Denomination: Pentecostal

Dare To Dream

Contributed by Paul Durbin on Feb 17, 2003

based on 24 ratings

| 9,603 views

Just as Amos envisioned that he could do more with his life, young people can do the same as they pursue God’s plan for their life.

I. Trinity shirt: Dare to DREAM A. Joke: man dreamed of winning a pun contest - no pun in ten did B. Ice-cream diet C. Bill Lee-Warner, told of a “back-woodsy” sort of guy in the Bible who dared to dream, and was blessed by God ...read more

Scripture: 1 Timothy 4:12, Amos 7:14-15

Denomination: Pentecostal

How To Be Blessed By God

Contributed by Charles Wilkerson on Jun 30, 2004

based on 11 ratings

| 4,433 views

Testing God by obedient living allows us to find God’s blessings no matter our life’s situations

What is the difference between those like Billy Graham, Mother Theresa, Robert Schuler, Dietrich Bonhoffer, C.S. Lewis & most of those who tell pollsters that they’re Christians? Let me suggest that one key difference is in how they have believed what God has promised them in verses like those here ...read more

Scripture: Malachi 3:1-12

Denomination: Presbyterian/Reformed

The Reality Of Hell Pt. 1

Contributed by James Stewart Jr. on Dec 17, 2003

based on 16 ratings

| 4,986 views

This Sermon deals with Eternity for those who chose not to believe in Christ. This is a two part sermon.

Intro; This morning I want to preach on a subject that does not get a whole lot of preaching time. The Reality of Hell- Sheol or Hades The word “Sheol” means a “hollow subterranean place, “therefore “Hades” is a place of hollow emptiness and torment. It has “gates,” for Jesus said that the “Gates ...read more

Scripture: Isaiah 66:23-24, Luke 16:19-31

Denomination: Pentecostal

Going For More In 2004

Contributed by Dan Cale on Dec 30, 2003

based on 33 ratings

| 2,327 views

This sermon addresses the costs and potential of investing more in the Kingdom for the new year. It is not year specific and addresses basic costs of powerful investment.

Going For More in 2004 Colossians 1: 1-14 Let me ask you a question. How many of you believe today that Hughesville Friends Church has maxed out. We are just doing everything that can be done to fulfill the great commission of Christ. We have accomplished our mission and vision ¡V and now it¡¦s ...read more

Scripture: Colossians 1:1-14

Denomination: *other

God's Family Unit

Contributed by Dan Borchert on Aug 29, 2002

based on 8 ratings

| 5,914 views

In housing plans we talk about family units, in churches we no longer want to add people we want to add family units. God has a plan and purpose for His family unit

1 John 3:1-10 God’s Family Unit Introduction A. We love to Talk about the family Units. That is a big word in politics, real estate and so on B. The Lighthouse is building 6 family units of housing this summer (in August if you can clear your schedules) C. The Question is what does a Family ...read more

Scripture: 1 John 3:1-10

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Don't Give God Any Exuses

Contributed by Dan Borchert on Aug 29, 2002

based on 7 ratings

| 2,405 views

We love to think of different reasons why we dont follow God’s command. However they are just all excuses.

I John 2:3-11 Don’t Give God Any Excuses! Introduction A. One of the more enjoyable part about Kid’s Klub is the excuses B. I hear them all C. It wasn’t me, then why did I see you do it D. I didn’t take it, then why is it in your hand E. He told me to, did he do it? F. My mom said I could, can I ...read more

Scripture: 1 John 2:3-11

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Is Hoss's Doing Our Job

Contributed by Dan Borchert on Aug 29, 2002

based on 8 ratings

| 2,048 views

The Restaraunt Hoss’s has a comercial were they say Hoss’s is Hospitality. We as a church a commanded to offer Hospitality. The question then is Hoss doing our job?

3 John 5-8 Is Hoss’s Doing Our Job? Introduction A. I am sure that most of you have seen the Commercial for Hoss’s right? a. In these commercials the Restaurant tells us they are working hard at trying to offer warm friendly service b. They want you to feel comfortable during your visit c. They ...read more

Scripture: 3 John 1:5-8

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Ghostbusters

Contributed by Steve Steve on Mar 8, 2002

based on 39 ratings

| 4,888 views

I used this at new year to remind us of our ever present comforter, as we began this new year. Some very good material dealing with the Holy Spirit.

Ghostbusters How many of you have seen the movie Ghostbusters? The premise of the movie is that there are these four guys. They are a mixture of a smart person, a witty person, the muscle-person, and the comic-person. If you’ve seen the movie then you cannot forget Bill Murray and Dan Akroyd ...read more

Scripture: John 14:1-99

Denomination: Church Of God

Turn Or Burn Series

Contributed by Jeff Strite on Mar 25, 2002

based on 69 ratings

| 16,032 views

The significance of repentance is particularly important when we consider how we usually handle our weaknesses

OPEN: “Johnnie,” asked the kindergarten teacher, “is the world round?” “No, ma’am,” was the reply. “It isn’t!” Exclaimed the teacher. “Then I suppose it’s flat?” “No, ma’am.” “Well,” said the teacher with a smile, “if the world isn’t round and it isn’t flat, then what is it?” “My dad says it’s ...read more

Scripture: Acts 17:22-31

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Love

Contributed by Todd Kornahrens on Oct 20, 2005

based on 70 ratings

| 10,916 views

As the Church,it is high time that we stopped being distractedby things that really do not matter that have no bearing upon salvation and that Jesus Christ never even mentioned And start focusing in on that commandment on that emotion that Christ to

I was driving up to Pittsburgh the other day for a meeting with Pastor Bish When all of the sudden the car in front of me, the car that I had been following for about 10 to 15 miles dropped to about 15 mph slower than they were going Not only that, but the car started to weave from side to side ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 22:34-46

Denomination: Lutheran

The Message To The Church At Ephesus Series

Contributed by Ewen Huffman on Jun 20, 2003

based on 10 ratings

| 3,217 views

A message about losing your first love (for the Lord and one another, asindividuals and a church) and how to get it back

The message to the church at Ephesus Rev 2:1-7 WBC 22 June 2002 am Introduction It’s hard to believe there are no churches there, now. - the church is there… but there are no ’churches’ there It was a huge city in those days. - on the East coast of what is now Turkey. Was then called Asia ...read more

Scripture: Revelation 2:1-7

Denomination: Baptist

Created For God's Purpose Series

Contributed by James Dunn on Oct 11, 2004

based on 18 ratings

| 8,169 views

Adapted from Rick Warren’s 40 Days of Purpose: God created each of us with a need to be loved as well as the need to share that love. One of the avenues in which we receive His love is through the family.

Adapted from Rick Warren’s 40 Days of Purpose Intro: We’re continuing in our series on 40 Days of Purpose. Recently, Adelina Dominguez died in San Diego. Now, what made her death noteworthy is that according to the Guinness Book of Records, she was the oldest living American. At 114 years of ...read more

Scripture: Hebrews 2:10

Denomination: Baptist

Who Am I?

Contributed by Dean Meadows on May 8, 2005

based on 28 ratings

| 4,431 views

This is a simple sermon that deplicts the question of who am I and the right answer as far as having the right relationship with God.

Who am I? 5/8/2005 John 14:6 There use to be a TV game show that I liked to watch where you would have different celebrities that would put on blindfolds and then someone would come out and the job of the celebrities was to ask questions to ...read more

Scripture: John 14:6

Denomination: *other

Let's Get Real

Contributed by Jay Patton on Jul 7, 2002

based on 24 ratings

| 7,656 views

A sermon about being truthful with God.

Introduction: Rabbit Misunderstanding Read Scripture/Pray Background: David finds himself in the midst of persecution Purpose Statement: Because Dark Days Do Come... I. Admit Where You’re At (vs. 1-2) A. David feels abandoned by God 1. He’s been suffering for a long time, crying out to God 2. Dr. ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 13:1-6

Denomination: Baptist

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