Sermons on Dirty Jokes:

Thorns Of Life

Contributed by Daniel Olukoya on May 17, 2011

There are different kinds of vessels in the house of God. So you will do well to examine what kind of vessel you are. Let me clear one thing before we go deeper into this message: God will not accept any excuse from anyone for not being a useful vessel.

Our message this week, is what I call “The thorns of life.” Genesis 3:17-19 says, “And unto Adam He said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee saying, thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy ...read more

Scripture: Genesis 3:17-19

Denomination: Pentecostal

Becoming Backyard Christians Series

Contributed by James Jackson on Sep 8, 2020

The front yard is where we try to keep up appearances. The backyard is where we live. If we want people to get to know us, we have to open up the backyard.

*Note: This is an adaptation of the second sermon in the "I Love My Church" Sermon Prep Kit on Sermon Central. Thanks to whoever created the original outlines. This is a great kit. I Love My Church #2: Becoming Backyard Christians Hebrews 10:19-25 [Lots of different fences on ...read more

Scripture: Hebrews 10:19-25

Denomination: Baptist

Who Will Go? Series

Contributed by Stephen Sheane on Nov 28, 2019

God is looking to send out workers into His harvest field. They need to be people who know where they are, who they are and what they are.

WHO WILL GO? A famous preacher visited a Nursing home that had some patients with Alzheimer's in it. He went around and greeted the people who were very glad to see him. He walked up to one lady and asked, "Do you know who I am?" She said, "No Dear, but if you go to the Front ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 9:35-38

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

Fear Not, Just Believe Series

Contributed by Denn Guptill on Dec 1, 2019

This series looks at the various "Fear Nots" in the Christmas story. It begins with Garbriel's admonintion to Zechariah to not be afraid.

Fear and Christmas aren’t words that I would think go together. Maybe Halloween and Fear, or birthdays and fear. But Christmas and fear? I mean, really what is there to fear about Christmas? Well, according to those in the know there is plenty to fear about Christmas. If you are selaphobic, ...read more

Scripture: Luke 1:5-15

Denomination: Wesleyan

Blessed Hope Series

Contributed by John Oscar on Dec 10, 2019

A lesson on the rapture of the church

The Blessed Hope Christianity 101 CCCAG November 24th, 2019 Scripture- 1 Thess 4:13-18 Intro: Several years ago I showed a very similar video depicting what will happen when the rapture occurs. It's pretty dramatic isn't it? The rapture became a huge topic among Christians in the 1990’s ...read more

Denomination: Assembly Of God

Fear Not, Just Obey Series

Contributed by Denn Guptill on Dec 14, 2019

This message looks a the words of the Angel to Joseph, and what happened because Joseph obeyed.

I was talking to a lady the other day about some Kids reaction to Santa. Not the Santa who’s going to come down the chimney on Christmas Eve to leave gifts, but the shopping mall Santas. It seems a passage of rite that we take our kids to the Mall to have their pictures taken with Jolly Old ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 1:18-25

Denomination: Wesleyan

Cities Of Refuge Series

Contributed by C. Philip Green on Mar 7, 2019

When you’re afraid, run to Jesus for refuge, but don’t keep Him to yourself. Make Jesus accessible and available to all.

San Francisco has its cable cars. Seattle has its Space Needle, and Longview, Washington, has its squirrel bridge. It’s called The Nutty Narrows Bridge, which spans Olympia Way and is a local landmark. A local builder, the late Amos Peters, built The Nutty Narrows Bridge in 1963. He wanted to give ...read more

Scripture: Joshua 20:1-9, Hebrews 6:18, Romans 8:1

Denomination: Evangelical Free

Called To Bless Series

Contributed by Stephen Sheane on Apr 10, 2018

When we serve others we find satisfaction, significance and succession

CALLED TO BLESS Many years ago there lay a large boulder in the middle of a well travelled roadway. Traveler after traveler walked past the boulder, veering off the side of the road to get around it. All the while, they were shaking their head and muttering, "Can you believe that? Someone should ...read more

Denomination: Christian Missionary Alliance

#31 A Little Doggy At The Table Series

Contributed by Chuck Sligh on Oct 18, 2020

One time a Gentile woman asked Him to deliver her daughter from a demon. In His reply, Jesus called her a dog. Was Jesus being rude to this woman…or is there more to the story?

#31 A Little Doggy at the Table Series: Mark Chuck Sligh October 18, 2020 NOTE: PowerPoint or ProPresenter presentations are available for this sermon by request at chucksligh@hotmail.com. Please mention the title of the sermon and the Bible text to help me find the sermon in my archives TEXT: ...read more

Scripture: Mark 7:24-30

Denomination: Baptist

Jesus Finds Lost Things! (The Lost Coin) Series

Contributed by Tony Searles on Feb 15, 2015

This is the second in a three part sermon series I preached during our Month of Missions emphasis. In this particular sermon we considered how the coin represents that even lost people have value and are irreplaceable, therefor worth searching for.

MAIN TEXT - Luke 15:8-10 Well, it is our Month of Missions here at Windham Assembly of God! So, we are taking some much needed time throughout this month to allow the Lord to renew our heart for Missions by giving extra emphasis to it each week… →By having a missionary come and ...read more

Scripture: Luke 15:8-10

Denomination: Other

When He Comes

Contributed by Jerry Flury on Feb 1, 2015

realize His return is real. His return will be a reunion. For some His return will bring reward. For others His return will be ruination. The question today is will you be ready when He comes?

When Jesus Comes 1 John 2:26-29 It is my prayer that everyone of you would, as John urged his readers in 1 John 2:28, "Remain in Christ!"; that is to continually maintain such a close walk with the Lord, persevering in faithfulness and sound biblical doctrine, that His return will bring joy to ...read more

Scripture: 1 John 2:26-29

Denomination: Baptist

Hypocrisy Series

Contributed by Chuck Sligh on Feb 2, 2015

Hypocrisy! The bane of the church. The most common excuse for non-believers. But it is also something God HATES! So much that he struck down dead a Couple for it. This sermon examines 4 signs of hypocrisy, and what to do about it.

Hypocrisy Series: Acts Chuck Sligh February 1, 2015 NOTE: A PowerPoint presentation of this sermon is available upon request by emailing me at chucksligh@hotmail.com. [PROP: A BEAUTIFUL BOWL/PLATTER (LIGHT COLORED ON THE INSIDE). MAKE SURE OUTSIDE IS CLEAN AND INSIDE IS AS DIRTY AS YOU CAN MAKE ...read more

Scripture: Acts 5:1-16

Denomination: Baptist

A Discerning Heart Thru Change Series

Contributed by Troy Borst on Nov 11, 2015

What does this mean for us during change? This morning I would like to talk about some elements of change and see why a discerning heart is necessary during change.

A Discerning Heart Thru Change 1 Kings 3:5-15 INTRODUCTION You are at work one day and HR calls a meeting and once everyone arrives, shares the news that half of the company is being let go because the company got bought out. Sorry. You don’t know if you are in the half with a job or the ...read more

Scripture: 1 Kings 3:5-15

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

The Scandal Of Grace Series

Contributed by Denn Guptill on Nov 14, 2015

We celebrate the salvation of the thief on the cross, but it seems a little unfair. And that is the Scandal of Grace

They held his hands firmly against the un-planed timber and placed the rough iron spikes over the junction of his wrists. The roman centurion lifted the mall and drove the first spike home with one swing. The man bucked and twisted in agony as the metal pierced his wrist like white hot fire, ...read more

Scripture: Luke 23:32-42

Denomination: Wesleyan

Bridges And Ditches: People Of The Way (Sermon #2 Of 5) Series

Contributed by Ken Pell on Jan 11, 2015

The reason the first century church turned the world upside down was not because of some religio-socio-economic “perfect storm” that made their message ripe for the but rather it was the fixed and unswerving centrality of Jesus Christ as their message.

Welcome & Call to Worship Good morning. We are honored that you have chosen to worship with us today. In September of 1985, The Times-Reporter of New Philadelphia, Ohio, reported a celebration of a New Orleans municipal pool. The party around the pool was held to celebrate the first summer in ...read more

Scripture: Acts 9:1-2

Denomination: Nazarene