Sermons on Dirty Jokes:

Take Your Pick Of Three Preachers This Easter

Contributed by Joel Pankow on Apr 13, 2001

Describes three different messages being preached at Easter time.

April 15, 2001 Matthew 27:62-28:15 The longest sermon on record was preached by Rev. Robert Marshall, minister of the Birmingham Unitarian Church, Michigan, in 1976. He preached for 60 hours and 31 minutes. The previous record holder was Robert McKee who preached for 52 hours. He said ...read more

Denomination: Lutheran

Peter's Biggest Fish Story

Contributed by Ted Sutherland on Apr 3, 2001

How to pay the IRS when U R broke.

Paying the IRS, When U R Broke Matthew 17:24-27 I. Tax Exemption vs. 26, 27 A. Jesus was Exempt B. Jesus made an Exception II. Filing Jointly vs. 27 “. . . give unto them for me and thee.” III. What to do in case of Audit, vs. 27 Records, This is the record From Reader’s Digest: It’s time ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 17:24-27

Denomination: Baptist

What Is Grace?

Contributed by Michael Mccartney on Mar 3, 2003

Grace is what we all need but some don’t even know what their missing because they don’t know or want this gift called grace.

What is Grace? Thesis: Grace is what we all need but some don’t even know what their missing because they don’t know or want this gift called grace. Opening Illustration: Video clip on asking people on the street “What is Grace?” Introduction: We have just observed a man asking people on the ...read more

Scripture: John 1:6-17

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

What's In A Name Series

Contributed by Marc Bertrand on Dec 3, 2002

A great sermon to spice up your Christmas offering. This message looks at the significance of the names Zechariah, Gabriel, Elizabeth and John. Much more interesting than it sounds.

What’s In A Name Introduction: My name is Marc, the meaning of my name is ‘Mighty Warrior’. My wife’s name is Michelle it means, ‘Like unto the Lord’, Micah’s name is like it, ‘Like unto Jehovah’. Tabitha’s name comes from a story in Acts, depending on which source book you use her name either ...read more

Scripture: Luke 1:5-25, Luke 1:57-66

Denomination: Baptist

Make Way! Series

Contributed by A. Todd Coget on Dec 5, 2002

This sermon details how John-the-Baptist prepared the way for Christ and how we can do the same at Christmas time.

Christmas in John 1 Make Way! John 1:6-9; 19-37 December 8, 2002 Intro: A. [Illustration] One Sunday, the Minister was giving a sermon on baptism and in the coarse of his sermon he was illustrating the fact that baptism should take place by sprinkling and not by immersion. He pointed out some ...read more

Scripture: John 1:6-34

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

They Love Me, They Love Me Not Series

Contributed by Victor Yap on Jan 8, 2003

The Life of Samuel, Part 5 of 5.

THEY LOVE ME, THEY LOVE ME NOT (1 SAMUEL 8, 12:16-25) A joke on the management of cows has been circulating for many years under the subject “World Economics,” “World Politics,” or “World Ideologies”: Communism: You have two cows. The government takes both, milks them, keeps the milk, and gives you ...read more

Scripture: 1 Samuel 8:1-22

Denomination: Independent/Bible

There Is R.e.s.t. For The Weary

Contributed by Steven Dow on Jan 23, 2003

This sermon shows us how to find rest for our weary souls. The old saying says that there is no rest for the weary, but David shows us that this saying is not true.

THERE IS R.E.S.T. FOR THE WEARY Psalm 62:5-11 January 26, 2003 INTRODUCTION: You know the old saying: “There is no rest for the weary.” We are going to learn from Psalm 62 that this statement is actually false. If anyone was ever weary, David was. He had grown weary from the constant ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 62:5-12

Our Days Are Numbered

Contributed by Darron Khan on May 29, 2002

This sermon was designed to direct its audience to the reality of death and how living in the light of death will serve to keep our lives focused and our priorities in order.

Our Days Are Numbered Celebration Service May 5, 2002 A man went in for his annual checkup and received a phone call from his physician a couple of days later. The doctor said, "I’m afraid I have some bad news for you." "What’s the news?" the man asked. "Well, you have only 48 hours to ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 90:1-12, John 11:30-35

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Why We Share Communion

Contributed by Don Hawks on Jun 2, 2002

Message discusses what this practice is about and who is invited to the Lord’s Table, particularly from a Weslyean perspective.

(Thanks to Bob Hostetler for ideas for this message. I’ve added a Methodist twist to the message. Powerpoint and audience outline available). A little girl asked her mother, “Mommy, why do you cut the ends off the meat before you cook it?” The girl’s mother told her that she thought it added ...read more

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 11:23-29, 1 Corinthians 11:1-52

Denomination: Methodist

Enjoying Your Position In Christ Series

Contributed by Bob Hostetler on Jun 6, 2002

Second in a series on Ephesians

Who Wants to be a Millionaire?: Enjoying Your Position in Christ Scripture Reading: Ephesians 2:1-22   Michael Dell. Sanford Weill. Gerald Levin. John Chambers. Henry Silverman. Ever heard of those people? Do any of those names ring a bell? They’re all millionaires. And they are ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 2:1-22

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

When The Deliverer Comes Series

Contributed by John Hamby on Jun 9, 2002

The demon possessed man is a reminder of the dilemma that is faced by every human that has not come under the influence of the saving power of Jesus Christ.

A Study of the Book of Luke Sermon # 22 by Dr. John R. Hamby When the Deliverer Comes! Luke 8: 26-39 The disciples had just come through a life-threatening experience on the Sea of Galilee. A terrible storm had almost ...read more

Scripture: Luke 8:26-39, Luke 16:19

Denomination: Baptist

Focused Fatherhood

Contributed by Tony Searles on Jun 22, 2002

This is a message for Fathers. It speaks of Isaac and the priorities that he displayed as a father. His responsibilities to God first, to his family, and then to his job.

Thanks to my, Dad-In-Law for the seeds of this message, Rev. Doulgas E. Harding, I. I wish all of you DADS a Happy Father’s Day this morning!!! I know that many may be facing a number of feelings or emotions at this timefor various ...read more

Scripture: 1 Timothy 3:4-5, Genesis 26:23-25

Denomination: Other

Sin Is A Disgrace To Any People

Contributed by Melvin Newland on Jul 17, 2002

What do you say when something as terrible as 9-11 happens, or you see people rejoicing when they hear that a bomber has succeeded in blowing up a restaurant full of children? How do you explain that?

MELVIN M. NEWLAND, MINISTER CENTRAL CHRISTIAN, BROWNSVILLE, TX ILL. As many of you know, there is a Ministerial Association in Brownsville, & I’m a part of it. It is not a formal organization, issuing pronouncements or passing resolutions. It is just ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 14:34

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Prayer Of Jabez #3 - Series

Contributed by Brian La Croix on May 15, 2002

Discussion of the second petition of Jabez’s prayer.

Note: some of the illustrations in this series are not acknowledged - this is due to loss of my notes, and not out of a desire to deny the sources. Thank you! The Prayer of Jabez #3 – “…Enlarge My Territory!” 1 Chronicles 4:9-10 (January 13, 2002) Introduction Today is our third session ...read more

Scripture: 1 Chronicles 4:9-10

Denomination: Wesleyan

Remembering People (Memorial Day)

Contributed by Steve Shepherd on May 25, 2002

Memorial Day is about remembering people.

REMEMBERING PEOPLE (Memorial Day) Phil. 2:3-4 INTRO.- ILL.- There’s a story about a city fellow who was visiting relatives on a farm and the farmer gave a whistle and his dog herded the cattle into the corral, then latched the gate with her paw. "Wow, that’s some dog. What’s her name?" The ...read more

Scripture: Philippians 2:3-4

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ