Sermons on Dirty Jokes:

"Peter, Feed My Sheep” (20 Of 21)

Contributed by Dr. Odell Belger on Mar 11, 2022

A new bride went to the grocery store to do her weekly shopping. She was a novice at this, but was delighted to be a new wife.

She did not want the store manager to know she had recently got married, because he might comment on her youth and inexperience. She said, "These eggs are awfully small." The store manager said, "Yes, I know, but that's the kind the farmer brings me. They are fresh from the ...read more

Scripture: 2 Peter 3:1-7

Denomination: Baptist

'heaven’s Citizens And Human Government' Series

Contributed by Gordon Curley on Jul 14, 2024

'Heaven’s citizens and human government' - Romans chapter 13 verses 1-7 - sermon by Gordon Curley (PowerPoint slides to accompany this talk are available on request – email: gcurley@gcurley.info)

SERMON OUTLINE: (1). the Christians role with government (vs 1&5) (2). the rule of government (vs 1b-2) (3). the reason for government (vs 3-5) (4). the response to government (vs 6-7) (5). the rival against government (vs 5b) SERMON BODY: Well, the new government is up and ...read more

Scripture: Romans 13:1-7

Denomination: Brethren

The Greenhouse Of Sin

Contributed by Jon Mackinney on Aug 11, 2004

We need to learn, like David did, the awful price of sin. But even greater than it’s power is the power of Jesus Christ to forgive.

Passage: 2 Samuel 11 Intro: The TV shows we watch laugh at sin 1. sin is the biggest joke in the American culture. 2. we are a strangely hypocritical society, on one hand decrying the promiscuity and drug addiction of our youth, while at the same time promoting these very things in the media. 3. ...read more

Scripture: 2 Samuel 11:1-21

Denomination: Evangelical Free

One More Year!

Contributed by Raphiel Manenge on Sep 10, 2005

This is a powerful message on being serious with your life and God.Bearing fruits for God.Living purposefully for otherwise only one more year left!

“Then he told this parable: "A man had a fig tree, planted in his vineyard, and he went to look for fruit on it, but did not find any. 7So he said to the man who took care of the vineyard, ’For three years now I’ve been coming to look for fruit on this fig tree and haven’t found any. Cut it down! ...read more

Scripture: Luke 13:6-9

Denomination: Pentecostal

We Are Family

Contributed by C Jordan on Jul 14, 2007

The church is the family of God. WE ARE FAMILY! ~ And our #1 family value is: LOVE! Let’s be the family God has called us to be and learn to love each other.

WE ARE FAMILY (Membership Sunday) OPENING JOKE: A pastor had had a bad week. On Sunday he was very frustrated and he began his sermon, "Everyone who belongs to this church is going to hell if they don’t change their ways." One man in the back began to laugh. So the pastor said it again louder. The ...read more

Scripture: John 13:34-35

Denomination: *other

Devoted Living In Difficult Days Series

Contributed by Donald Mcculley on Dec 21, 2010

Don’t lose your ambition in the midst of difficult days.

DEVOTED LIVING IN DIFFICULT DAYS JEREMIAH 24-29 INTRODUCTION: Robert J. Morgan said, “We must never forget that the word persevere comes from the prefix ‘per’, meaning through, coupled with the word ‘severe’. It means to keep pressing on, trusting God, looking up, doing our duty – even through ...read more

Denomination: Baptist

Serving God During Dark Times Series

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Feb 20, 2017

Elisha was in rough situations, but was still God’s man in the midst of it all. We, too, represent God during different but challenging times.

Serving God During Dark Times (2 Kings 6:24-7:20) 1. Today I am resuming the tradition of ethnic jokes I began a while ago. Many ethnicities make fun of their neighboring nations as not being too bright. 2. Two Belgians are driving a truck and arrive at a bridge with a warning sign: maximum ...read more

Denomination: Independent/Bible

The Four Pillars Of Your Spirituality Series

Contributed by Richard Papafio on Apr 24, 2018

It is only the Spirit of God that can help us build these four pillars and sustain them for a rich and special spiritual life.

May the peace of the Lord be with you. Topic: THE PROMISE OF THE FATHER pt. 11 (THE FOUR PILLARS OF YOUR SPIRITUALITY) Acts 2:42-44 King James Version (KJV) 42 And they continued stedfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship, and in breaking of bread, and in prayers. 43 And fear came ...read more

Scripture: Acts 2:42-44

Denomination: Charismatic

Jacob Turned Israel Series

Contributed by Rev. Dr. Andrew B Natarajan on Mar 3, 2019

Jacob though he was very worldly and started his life as a selfish and deceptive man, learned quickly to become a very diligent man.

Theme: Jacob turned Israel Text: Genesis 33:1-11 Joke: A man was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared. "Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success," he cackled. "I have been in the open-air day after ...read more

Scripture: Genesis 33:1-11

Denomination: Methodist

Where Have You Come From? Where Are You Going? Series

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Nov 11, 2013

We can best understand where we, as believers, have come from — and where we are going — by answering three questions.

Where Have You Come From? Where Are You Going? (Colossians 1:21-23) 1. When you have been a pastor at the same church fro 30 years, the Catholic kids in the neighborhood call you “Father Time.” 2. I have been here so long that when people ask how I am registered politically, I say I am ...read more

Scripture: Colossians 1:21-23

Denomination: Independent/Bible

Basics Part 3 Series

Contributed by Tommy Jackson on Aug 26, 2014

“Believers Acquiring Skills for Intimacy with Christ”.

B.A.S.I.C Series -Part 4 Joke: Many of you heard about Diane falling and hitting her face on the pavement (and she also broke her foot in a couple of places). Well, in honor of her, that reminded me of a joke (I think you ladies will appreciate this one): Three guys were camping and, like guys do ...read more

Scripture: Acts 2:42

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Wash Ye One Another Series

Contributed by Howard Parnell on Sep 21, 2002

Part 3 of "Heavenly Cleansing" series. Jesus gave us a beautiful illustration of how each of us is to humbly minister to each other.

WASH YE ONE ANOTHER John 13:2-17 INTRO. Luke 22 tells us of a conversation that took place at the table just moments before this event took place (Lk. 22:24-27). Jesus is preparing to go to Calvary and He knows that soon after that He will be going back to the Father. The problem is that His ...read more

Scripture: John 13:2-17

Denomination: Baptist

A Family Resemblance

Contributed by Mark Aarssen on Mar 14, 2009

Has anyone ever told you that you look like your Mom or your Dad? It is a wonderful thing that God has made us in such a way that we bare resemblance to our family

A Family Resemblance John 8:31-59 For several weeks now we spent a great deal of time in the Old Testament learning about the origins of our faith and the Fathers of the Faith (the Patriarchs). Some of you may have enjoyed all that history and all the dirty laundry that is in our spiritual family ...read more

Scripture: John 8:31-59

Denomination: Presbyterian/Reformed

Jesus' Warning Series

Contributed by Jim Kane on Apr 7, 2008

The Second Sermon of Lent 2008

This morning we begin with a ‘Trivial Pursuit’ type question. (Slide 1) The United States Army once had a Camel Corps. The year the Camel Corp was organized was: A) 1917 B) 1856 C) 2003 D) 1943 The correct answer is 1856. According to wikipedia, some of our national leaders felt that having ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 23:1-12

Denomination: Church Of God

Warri Girl-God's Battle Axe And Weapon Of Warfare Series

Contributed by Olu-Timi Lewis Afolabi on Jan 6, 2014

THE MESSAGE IS AIMED AT FEMALE YOUNG ADULTS WHOSE LIVES ARE BEING RAVISHED BY SINFUL SEXUAL ACTIVITY THAT IS EATING LIKE CANKER ON THE FABRIC OF THE WORLD.THE NEED TO EMBRACE CHRIST IS URGENT TO SAVE THEIR LIVES

WARRI GIRL: GOD’S BATTLE AXE AND WEAPON OF WARFARE. “Thou art my battle ax and weapons of war: for with thee will I break in pieces the nations, and with thee will I destroy kingdoms; -----------the horse and his rider” Jer.51:20-21 This is God’s message through me to a girl ...read more

Scripture: Jeremiah 51:20-21

Denomination: Evangelical Free