Sermons on Dirty Jokes:

Walking Like God Walks Series

Contributed by Guy Mcgraw on May 20, 2002

Living life in God’s footsteps

Walking Like God Walks EPHESIANS 5:1-6 · Going to take this morning about how we walk. Have you ever thought about how you walk. How your walk looks to others. 1) Friend from a church I pastured while in Seminary named David. David is a racewalker. David doesn’t know it but he looks funny when ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 5:1-7

Jesus Simon And The Sinful Woman

Contributed by Claude Alexander on Aug 23, 2018

The uninvited guest at the dinner. Simon the Pharisee and the sinful woman.

Jesus, Simon and the sinful woman. Writing between a.d. 64 to 68, Luke, “the beloved Physician” (Col. 4:14), traveling companion of Paul on his second and third missionary journeys (see ‘we’ passages: Acts 16:10-17; 20:5-15; 21:1-18; 27:1-16) and “fellow worker” with Paul (Phlm 24), spent time in ...read more

Scripture: Luke 7:36-50

Denomination: Assembly Of God

The Key To Freedom

Contributed by Glenn Pease on Mar 12, 2021

The more you read of the history of our nation the more you realize the heroes of our history were not gods come down to earth, but they were weak and fallible men. It was their dependence upon God that enabled them to declare their independence from tyranny.

The story I am about to tell is fiction, but it is funny and it has a point. After 38 years of marriage I thought I knew everything about Lavonne. But I discovered something new when we got back from our trip to Washington. I was putting things away and I was pushing something under her side of ...read more

Scripture: Judges 6:1-6

Purity

Contributed by Jerry Flury on Sep 25, 2011

God says we’re to keep ourselves pure. To be pure means to be unmixed with any other matter, to be free anything that taints. God expects us to be holy – separated from anything that defiles. We’re to be like Him. We need pure minds, hands, and hearts.

Purity 1 Timothy 5:22 God says we are to keep ourselves pure. To be pure means to be unmixed with any other matter, to be free anything that would taint. God expects us to be holy – separated from anything that would defile us. We are to be like Him. We are to have pure minds, pure hands, and pure ...read more

Scripture: 1 Timothy 5:22

Denomination: Baptist

School Supplies

Contributed by Joseph Smith on Jun 17, 2003

Drama dialogue, written as if a conversation between Paul, a tribune, and a narrator, with "chorus" lines for the children of the congregation. Supplies we need for learning are a listening mind, a loving heart, and a desire to grow.

Narrator: I knew very little about the people of the Way, but I did know that everyone in Jerusalem was talking about one of their leaders. We were all most upset about Paul. You see, Paul – actually we knew his name as Saul – Paul had been such a mighty force in our community only a few short ...read more

Denomination: Baptist

One Of You Will Betray Me

Contributed by Juan Lane on Aug 7, 2005

Describes how no one at the table can deny the fact that they have the potential to betray Christ

One of You Will Betray Me by Juan Lane Matthew 26:21-26:22 (KJV) 21 And as they did eat, he said, Verily I say unto you, that one of you shall betray me. 22 And they were exceeding sorrowful, and began every one of them to say unto him, Lord, is it I? One of you will betray me Betray - ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 26:21-22, Psalm 41:9

Denomination: Pentecostal

Handing Over The Keys

Contributed by Mari Larson on Sep 7, 2014

The authority to forgive (The Office of the Keys) has been given to us, but we don't use it.

Church life on the prairies of the Midwest is often quite different from church life here (in Arizona). Small congregations of Norwegian, Swedish, Danish, Finnish, and German origins are slowly dying out, and since we no longer preach in the languages of our mother-lands (Thank God!), and because ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 18:15-20

Denomination: Lutheran

The Fruit Of The Spirit Series

Contributed by Gordon Curley on Nov 27, 2010

The Fruit of the Spirit (PowerPoint slides to accompany this talk are available on request - email: gcurley@gcurley.info)

Reading: Galatians chapter 5 verses 16-25. Ill: • The year was 1934. • An impoverished prospector named Jacobus Jonker, • Walked across his small farm in South Africa. • The recent heavy rains had washed away loads of silt, • And he searched tirelessly for any small treasures the torrents might ...read more

Scripture: Galatians 5:16-25

Denomination: Brethren

Grow At Gbc Through Fellowship (2019 V.) Series

Contributed by Chuck Sligh on Feb 2, 2019

We are saved to be in fellowship (community) with other believers. This sermon encourages God's people to be committed to greater relational and service involvement in their "community of faith."

Grow at GBC Through Fellowship Series: Get on the Ship Chuck Sligh January 27, 2019 Blurb: We are saved to be in fellowship (community) with other believers. This Sunday, worship with us and hear Pastor Sligh explain what results when we are committed to fellowship with a local community of ...read more

Scripture: Acts 2:42-47, Hebrews 10:25, Ecclesiastes 4:9, Psalm 61:2-5, Ephesians 4:12-13, Ephesians 3:10, Hebrews 3:13  (view more)  (view less)

Denomination: Baptist

Gaining Your Bearings In Life Series

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Jul 4, 2011

Careful: Many of life's blessings can be enjoyed, but they carry with them the potential to work against you.

Gaining Your Bearings in Life (Proverbs 18:20-24) 1. I was told that I had used the joke from last week's sermon just 4 weeks earlier, about the 2 Jews, the 2 Catholics, and the 2 Baptists stranded on an island. Oops. 2. So, to redeem myself, I will tell one only about two Jews stranded on an ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 18:20-24

Denomination: Independent/Bible

Baptized!

Contributed by Scott Carmer on Jan 9, 2006

Baptism means that we have been forgiven, cleansed, healed, initiated into God’s family, and set on a mission.

Baptized! Mark 1:4-11 Baptism of our Lord January 8, 2006 Toni and I moved to Denver, Colorado in the late summer of 1977 in order to get settled in for the beginning of my first year of seminary. From our student housing unit, you only had to look west to see three of the fourteen thousand foot ...read more

Scripture: Mark 1:4-11

Denomination: Methodist

The Pursuit Of Purity

Contributed by Matt Skiles on Jun 10, 2021

God says we are to keep ourselves pure. God expects us to be holy – separated from anything that would defile us. We are to be like Him.

1 Timothy 4:12-Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity. 1 Timothy 5:22-Lay hands suddenly on no man, neither be partaker of other men’s sins: keep thyself pure. Christian believers are called to ...read more

Scripture: 1 Timothy 5:22

Denomination: Pentecostal

Conscience Isolates Every Man

Contributed by Curtis Kittrell on Aug 31, 2001

Why Are Christians Afraid to Listen to Conscience?

Conscience Isolates Every Man Why Are Christians Afraid to Listen to Conscience? OUTLINE Introduction: Some in the Christian church are not sure of what they believe about the human conscience. The Word of God reminds us that conscience is always on God’s side, judging conduct in the light of the ...read more

Scripture: John 8:9-11

Denomination: Pentecostal

Immigration Series

Contributed by Freddy Fritz on Aug 16, 2008

This sermon examines how Jesus would vote on immigration.

Scripture Ethnic jokes exploit ethnic stereotypes. The format is usually where the butt of the joke is a person who belongs to an ethnic group singled out for abuse. So, for example, the English tell jokes about an Irishman, the Canadians about a Newfoundlander, the Americans about a Polish ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 25:31-46

Denomination: Presbyterian/Reformed

Deceptive Living Series

Contributed by D Marion Clark on Jul 15, 2012

Addresses sexual immorality and crudeness.

Introduction We all have limits as to what we will and will not wear. Even if we are not fashion conscious, there are boundaries we will not cross. For that matter, there are dress habits we will not give up. Battles are fought in homes over what we will and will not wear. Back in Ephesians ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 5:3-7

Denomination: Presbyterian/Reformed