Sermons on Dirty Jokes:

Baptism Message (Adult)

Contributed by Scott Jensen on Oct 8, 2008

Baptism is an outward act, with visible elements, that is key to the inward attitude and acceptance into God’s kingdom.

Baptism Before performing a baptism, the pastor approached the young father and said solemnly, "Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?" "I think so," the man replied. "My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our ...read more

Scripture: Acts 22:12-16, Acts 22:12

Denomination: Lutheran

Management Vs. Ownership Part 1 Of 3 Series

Contributed by Kyle Sullivan on Jun 11, 2010

Are you a Manager or a Owner?

One out of every six verses in the gospels has to do with stewardship. Definition: "Stewardship is the responsibility of managing some assets or affairs or property of someone else's." Uncle Screwtape: “The sense of ownership in general is always to be encouraged. The humans are always ...read more

Scripture: Luke 19:12-27

Denomination: Baptist

The Hired Servant

Contributed by Richard Papafio on Nov 30, 2017

Jesus is the good shepherd and the owner not the hired servant who runs when the wolf attacks. You are as Jesus is.

May the peace of the Lord be with you. TOPIC: THE HIRED SERVANT John 10:12-13King James Version (KJV) 12 But he that is an hireling, and not the shepherd, whose own the sheep are not, seeth the wolf coming, and leaveth the sheep, and fleeth: and the wolf catcheth them, and scattereth the ...read more

Scripture: John 10:12-13

Denomination: Charismatic

Longing For Sodom

Contributed by Rick Boyne on Jan 8, 2013

We must not linger over the memory of our sins.

Longing for Sodom January 6, 2013 Evening Service Immanuel Baptist Church, Wagoner, OK Rick Boyne Message Point: We must not linger over the memory of our sins. Focus Passage: Genesis 18-19 Supplemental Passage: We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the ...read more

Denomination: Baptist

What's Jesus's Favourite - The Box Of Chocolates

Contributed by John Foster on Dec 24, 2001

This sermon is a mini childrens address using a box of chocolates as a prop. The people are asked which chocolate would be Jesus’s favourite. After lots of interaction, the sermon concludes that Jesus loves all people the same, we are all His favourite

This is an outline of an interactive childrens address. The message is that Jesus loves us all equally. -------------- TIPS ------------------- You need to take along a box of chocolates I take along a box of chocolates and hand them out after the service or give them to the Sunday School ...read more

Scripture: James 2:1-4

Denomination: Methodist

Praying God's Will

Contributed by Ron Hicks on Jul 10, 2006

You might be surprised what prayer God is more apt to answer first.

PRAYING GOD’S WILL James 5:16-17 The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. 17 Elias was a man subject to like passions as we are, and he prayed earnestly that it might not rain: and it rained not on the earth by the space of three years and six months. Earnestly; 1 serious ...read more

Scripture: James 5:16-17

Denomination: Assembly Of God

Some Things Just Don't Belong Series

Contributed by Carl Willis on Aug 30, 2006

When we put on the new life of Christ there are some things that have no place in our lives anymore.

Some Things Just Don’t Belong Ephesians 5:1-5 Ephesians 5:1 (NLT) Follow God’s example in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Follow the Leader  Following requires focus • Upon the activity of God • John 5:19 John 5:19 (NLT) Jesus replied, "I assure you, the ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 5:1-5

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Setting An Example Through Our Speech

Contributed by Chew Chew on Aug 5, 2007

Setting an example through our speech

Title: Setting an example through our speech Text: 1 Timothy 4:12; Matt 5:18 1TI 4:12 Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe. Introduction Paul told Timothy not to let anyone look down at his ...read more

Scripture: 1 Timothy 4:12

Denomination: Pentecostal

What In The World Is God Doing? Series

Contributed by Vance Elzinga on Jun 22, 2007

How do we get on board when we don’t understand what God is doing (compares Jonah with Pentecost)?

20070527 – What in the world is God doing? (Jonah/Acts 2) INTRO– How many of you like surprises? Think, now… Jonah is full of surprises – or God is… • Tomorrow morning you’re going! • Nineveh • The fish is a surprise – oh no you don’t • And Nineveh holds still more surprises – Jonah is sick of ...read more

Denomination: Presbyterian/Reformed

Hell-- What It's Like And How To Get There

Contributed by Bret Mcelroy on Aug 30, 2002

5 points that teach what hell will be like and how to get there. Taken from "The Rich Man and Lazarus".

Hell - What it’s like and how to get there Joke about hell. Hell is a topic we’d rather avoid. We agree with C.S. Lewis: “There is no other doctrine which I would more willingly remove from Christianity than [hell], if it lay in my power. . . I would pay any price to be able to say ...read more

Scripture: Luke 16:19-30

Denomination: Holiness

The Salvation Boat

Contributed by Tim Huie on May 6, 2009

everything about the ark pictures some aspect of the redemptive work of Jesus.

• Emmaus road disciples • Luke 24:27 • Jesus is the hero of the OT! THE SALVATION BOAT Genesis 6:11-7:24 (selected verses) 1. Illus. of Hadecol • My grandmother swore by Hadecol. • It was good for warts, tuberculosis, pneumonia, bad breath, tired blood etc. • She would give it to us, and we never ...read more

Denomination: Baptist

Would You Risk The Fiery Furnace?

Contributed by Scott Bradford on Aug 13, 2010

This sermon is about being willing to risk the fiery furnace for the beliefs we hold in Jesus Christ!

One of my favorite places to worship is in the Mountain, on a ski trip of course! (If you don't know me, I love snow skiing). Most Ski areas have a little spot marking a chapel. Though I have never actually worshipped at one of those spots, mostly because I am not usually skiing on Sunday's. Though ...read more

Scripture: Daniel 3:19-30

Denomination: United Methodist

Habitual Or Addictive Mood Patterns

Contributed by Wade Martin Hughes, Sr on Jun 15, 2016

Do we acknowledge we can fall in habitual and dangerous mood patterns. We can change if we so desire. Or we can stay the same. Daniel warned the King, you better change.

HABITUAL OR ADDICTIVE MOOD PATTERNS? By Wade Martin Hughes, Sr. Kyfingers@aol.com ACCEPT THE WARNING: CHANGE YOUR MOOD... KING YOU BETTER CHANGE... Daniel 4:25 That they shall drive thee from men, and thy dwelling shall be with the beasts of the field, and they shall make thee to eat grass as ...read more

Scripture: Daniel 4:25-33

Denomination: Assembly Of God

Consecrate Yourselves Series

Contributed by Jim Moynihan on Mar 17, 2022

Before God can do any great work through his people, he must do a great work in his people.

Henry Blackaby tells the story of a missionary family assigned to a predominately Moslem urban center in 1985. After decades of work they had started only 5 small churches. Some friends asked them to consider going to a place where the people were more responsive to the gospel. But, they were ...read more

Scripture: Joshua 3:1-5

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Fight The Good Fight - Opponent #3 Series

Contributed by Jerry Rittenhouse on Mar 12, 2019

Fight the Good Fight of Faith by battling the 3rd Opponent to your faith, the devil.

VIDEO: TURN THE LIGHTS BACK ON VIDEO: WALK OUT MAIN SLIDE: FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT SCRIPTURE SLIDES: 1 Timothy 6:12 Fight the good fight of faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. 2 Timothy 4:7-8 7I ...read more

Scripture: 1 Timothy 6:12, 2 Timothy 4:7-8

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational