Sermons on dirty jokes:

The Smiths

Contributed by D. Dewaine Phillips on Mar 29, 2022

Demetrius “Smith” represents someone whose judgement is clouded by selfish desires. Alexander "Smith" represents someone who doesn't want to be alone in his sin; who makes it a point to cause other Christians to stumble.

I’ve entitled our message for this evening, “The Smiths.” Have you heard about the Smiths? Take for instance Zipporah Smith. “Who’s that?” you may say. Well, her husband, Moses, was used by God to deliver the Israelites from their bondage in Egypt. You see, Zipporah was a Kenite, and the word ...read more

Scripture: 2 Timothy 4:14-16, Acts 19:23-34

Denomination: Baptist

Where Is The Lord God Of Elijah (2 Of 2)

Contributed by Dr. Odell Belger on Apr 4, 2022

In the previous sermon we talked about Elijah, who was Elisha’s predecessor.

We learned that Elisha followed Elijah everywhere he went. Elisha followed Elijah from Gilgal to Beth-el, to Jericho, to Jordan. Elijah asked Elisha to “Tarry here...” three times, but every time Elisha would say, “...As the Lord liveth, and as thy soul liveth, I will not leave thee...” Elijah, ...read more

Scripture: 2 Kings 2:1-15

Denomination: Baptist

Third Commandment (3 Of 12)

Contributed by Dr. Odell Belger on Apr 14, 2022

The Jews of old usually gave their children names that had meaning. Today we give our children names and have no idea what they mean, we go more by how they sound. Some do not even go by sound.

Illus: In Connecticut four ministers were named Wright none of them were related. To avoid confusion: • One was referred to as: “Minister Upright". • Another was referred to as, “Minister Downright”. • And another was referred to as, “Minister Outright.” • And the fourth was referred to as, ...read more

Scripture: Exodus 19:20, Exodus 20:7

Denomination: Baptist

Hands Up!

Contributed by Dr. Odell Belger on Mar 3, 2022

We hear the words “Hands Up” used in two ways.

1. IT IS USED IN A NEGATIVE WAY For example, when a criminal walks into a bank and says “Hands up,” everyone within the range of his voice knows what he means. The reason the criminal wants everyone to put their “Hands up” is because this signifies that everyone within the sound of his voice has ...read more

Scripture: Exodus 17:8-13

Denomination: Baptist

Hands Up!

Contributed by Dr. Odell Belger on Mar 23, 2022

We hear the words “Hands Up” used in two ways.

1. IT IS USED IN A NEGATIVE WAY For example, when a criminal walks into a bank and says “Hands up,” everyone within the range of his voice knows what he means. The reason the criminal wants everyone to put their “Hands up” is because this signifies that everyone within the sound of his voice has ...read more

Scripture: Exodus 17:8-13

Denomination: Baptist

Where Is The Lord God Of Elijah (2 Of 2)

Contributed by Dr. Odell Belger on Jan 5, 2022

In the previous sermon we talked about Elijah, who was Elisha’s predecessor.

We learned that Elisha followed Elijah everywhere he went. Elisha followed Elijah from Gilgal to Beth-el, to Jericho, to Jordan. Elijah asked Elisha to “Tarry here...” three times, but every time Elisha would say, “...As the Lord liveth, and as thy soul liveth, I will not leave thee...” Elijah, ...read more

Scripture: 2 Kings 2:1-15

Denomination: Baptist

Repair The Broken Down Altar

Contributed by Gregory Mc Donald on Oct 14, 2002

The story of Elijah and how God used him to turn His people back to Him. Also three steps to repairing the altar in your life and turn back to God.

Repair The Broken Down Alter 1 Kings 18:30 Pastor Greg Mc Donald This morning if you look in your bulletin you will see that one of our prayer request is our nation. Today we live in a world felled with nothing but sin, rott, and filth. We live in a nation ...read more

Scripture: 1 Kings 18:30

Lazy Bones Series

Contributed by Jerry Shirley on Apr 1, 2009

Several jokes and illustrations on how to know if you are lazy--then what the Bible says about it and how to be diligent as a servant of the Lord. Link inc. to formatted text, audio, PowerPoint.

Lazy Bones II Thessalonians 3:6-18 http://gbcdecatur.org/sermons/LazyBones.html If a problem is not dealt with is usually doesn’t go away...instead it gets worse. Ill.—small splinter in finger is just irritating at first, but eventually it will become infected and much more serious over time. ...read more

Scripture: 2 Thessalonians 3:6-18

Denomination: Baptist

Love Is Not Proud Series

Contributed by Glenn Pease on Mar 17, 2021

When Jesus came into the world He did not come in pride to dominate, and to have His own needs met. He came in love to serve and meet the needs of others

Ignorance may be bliss, but it is a fools paradise when others are in the know. General Motors learned this the hard way back in the early 60's when they launched a campaign to sell their new compact, the Chevy Nova, in Mexico. It was a flop, and the sale figures were appalling. That is when ...read more

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 13:4

The Shepherds' Christmas

Contributed by Andrew Chan on Dec 16, 2005

Seeing Christmas from the shepherds’ viewpoint.

The Shepherds’ Christmas Luke 2:8-20 (NIV) 8And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10But the angel said to them, "Do not be ...read more

Scripture: Luke 2:8-20

Denomination: Evangelical Free

Man's Dust: An Emblem Of God's Glory

Contributed by Tristan Jether Orpiada on Jul 9, 2019

WHAT A GLORIOUS EXPERIENCE WE WILL BE WITH GOD. FROM DIRTY DUST TO DIAMONDS. FROM BEING PRICELESS TO BEING PRECIOUS JEWELS . WE ARE THE EMBLEM OF GOD’S GLORY!!!

GENESIS is the book of origins and beginnings. That is why we derived the word “GENERATION” from its name. Here, we read the story of God’s marvelous creation of the universe, the heavens and the earth. Every living things plants and animals namely, land and water bodies, celestial bodies such as ...read more

Scripture: Genesis 1:26-28

Denomination: Apostolic

Eph.2:1-14 Our Past, Present, And Future

Contributed by William D. Brown on Sep 29, 2011

In this sermon you will find that all of us were at one time lost sinners, but now that we're saved God has directed our new life in such a manner that it is obvious to all that there has been truly a change in our lives, now we tell people every time He

EPH.2:1-14 OUR PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE 9-3-11 1And you hath he quickened, who were dead in trespasses and sins; Paul here points out man's condition outside of Christ-- the unsaved person is the same as a corpse, a walking dead man, --Jesus told Nicodemos in John 3:17-18 For ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 2:1-14

Denomination: Baptist

Getting A New Wardrobe Series

Contributed by Mark Schaeufele on Jun 5, 2018

We need to take off our old life and put on our new one.

Getting A New Wardrobe Text: Col. 3:5-11 Introduction 1. Illustration: Ten months ago, I had a life changing even; I had bariatric surgery. As of today I have lost 133 lbs. As a result, I have had to have an entirely new wardrobe (several times). I can't wear the clothes I used to wear, and so ...read more

Scripture: Colossians 3:5-11

Denomination: Methodist

You Might Be A Pharisee

Contributed by Tiger Gullett on Apr 12, 2002

Jeff Foxworthy has made famous "You Might Be A Redneck" jokes. Nobody wants to be a redneck! Well, we should strive to not be a Pharisee. This message gives signs for, "You might be a Pharisee.."

*8 WARNING SIGNS THAT YOU MIGHT BE A PHARISEE IF..." ------------------------------------------------------- I. YOU ARE OUTWARDLY CLEAN BUT INWARDLY UNCLEAN (V39-41) a) IN OTHER WORDS YOU TALK A GOOD TALK BUT YOUR INSIDES ARE UNCLEAN 1. From the outside a Pharisee looks good, but inwardly ...read more

Scripture: Luke 11:37-52

Denomination: Baptist

Walk In Love

Contributed by Troy Borst on Jun 24, 2015

It means that for people who call God their God and for people who claim Jesus as their personal Lord and Savior; we have no options when it comes to love because we must act in love and have compassion for all people in all situations no matter the circu

WALK IN LOVE 2 JOHN 1:6 THREAD: 2 John 1:6, “And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love.” NARRATIVE 1 (sorta Genesis 4:1-8) Once there was a family that had two sons. The older son was named ...read more

Scripture: 2 John 1:6

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ