Sermons on Dirty Jokes:

"It's Only Church"

Contributed by Ken Sauer on Jul 23, 2014

Does Church Matter?

Romans 10:5-15 "It's Only Church" On a Saturday evening, last summer, while on vacation with my family, we were trying to decide where to go to church the next morning. I wanted to visit one of the smaller churches in town, others wanted to worship at the bigger church in town. We tried ...read more

Scripture: Romans 10:5-15

Denomination: United Methodist

Incarnation

Contributed by Steven Simala Grant on Dec 16, 2011

The Word creates the universe and all that is within it and centuries later he presents Himself in human form as a helpless little baby, all to woo us.

Incarnation Advent #3 Dec 11, 2011 Blackness. Deep, inky, heavy, darkness. The kind that presses in from all sides, crushing, chaotic and formless, and yet powerful. It is not eyes-shut blackness – it is eyes wide open blackness, pupils straining to dilate further, desperate for the ...read more

Scripture: Genesis 1:1-5

Denomination: Baptist

The Altar

Contributed by Charlie Scalf on Jan 26, 2008

The purpose and the need of the altar in our church and most importantly, in our lives

The Altar Rom 12:1-2 Text Rom 12:1-3 1 Cor 1:27 - 29 (NKJV) 27But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; 28and the base things of the world and the things which are ...read more

Scripture: Romans 12:1-2

Denomination: Pentecostal

Clean Living Series

Contributed by Vic Folkert on Oct 3, 2018

The sermon tackles obscure commandments, with practical implications: 1) All of life matters to God, 2) All of life can be made clean by God, and 3) We can be clean now. Practical applications to live a clean and holy life.

CLEAN LIVING—sel. From Leviticus 11-15 (Preacher: Begin with “Things Moms would probably not say...” on YouTube or Powerpoint… End the list with… “Let me smell that shirt. Yeah, that’s good for another week.” And, “Don’t bother cleaning your room. It makes the rest of the house ...read more

Scripture: Leviticus 11:1-47

Denomination: Presbyterian/Reformed

The Glory Of God

Contributed by Mike Wilkins on Mar 3, 2003

God’s plan to see his glory fill the whole earth is to use the church to be his "Glory carriers."

The Glory of God March 30 2003 Those of you who receive Richard Long’s Together news letter via email would know that he and Michael Lafluer are just back from England. They visited Leeds where they met with a multiple number of key leaders in the emerging city-wide church. They call this ...read more

Scripture: Colossians 1:27, Habakkuk 2:14

Denomination: *other

The Principle Of Life Through Death

Contributed by George Barton on Jun 28, 2006

Using John 12:24 as a text, the sermon demonstrates that the principle of life through death was true in the resurrection of Christ and is true also in agriculture, the Christian life, the resurrection of the Christian and in Christian giving.

THE PRINCIPLE OF LIFE THROUGH DEATH REVISED JUNE 28, 2006 (John 12:24 NIV) I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. Introduction Today I should like to preach concerning a very ...read more

Scripture: John 12:23-37

Denomination: Baptist

Christ The Healer

Contributed by John Gaston on Feb 19, 2013

Physical Healing is available to every child of God because 1. It's God's Nature to heal, 2. Jesus atoned for sickness and disease in His work of atonement, and 3. Jesus demonstrated the Father's will to heal by healing and commanding His followers to hea

CHRIST THE HEALER Mt. 10:5-8 INTRODUCTION A. HUMOR 1. JOKE #1 The prison hospital a. Prisoner: “Look here, doctor! You've already removed my spleen, tonsils, adenoids, and one of my kidneys. I only came to see if you could get me out of this place!” b. Doctor: “I am, ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 10:5-8

Denomination: Assembly Of God

Adoration At This Time In Your Life

Contributed by Dennis Selfridge on Oct 15, 2003

How to properly partake of the Lord’s Supper

Adoration AT this time in your life. In a sense, today we are having a “thanks dinner”. We are recalling what Jesus did for us on the cross by rejoicing at a sacred time which Jesus gave us to do. We are going to Worship around the Table. Our whole lives are to be an act of adoration, based on ...read more

Scripture: 2 Corinthians 11:23-34

Denomination: Wesleyan

"Seeing Humanity Through Jesus' Eyes"

Contributed by Ken Sauer on Feb 10, 2006

The ultimate good in life is when we are liberated, let loose to become such lovers of God that we surprise ourselves by loving those whom God loves.

“Seeing Humanity Through Jesus’ Eyes” Mark 1:40-45 2 Kings 5:1-14 By: Rev. Kenneth E. Sauer, Pastor of Parkview United Methodist Church, Newport News, VA www.parkview-umc.org Both in our Old Testament Lesson and in our Gospel Lesson for this morning we come face to face with the disease of ...read more

Scripture: Mark 1:40-45

Denomination: United Methodist

The Bear Family - Part2 Series

Contributed by James Pless on Jun 6, 2006

The strong are to bear the weak

The Bear Family- Part2 Romans 15:1 (KJV) 1 We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Introduction Do you know your weakness? Your weakness can defeat you. 8848. Waterloo’s Dip In The Road There is a modern picture by Stanley Berkley, ...read more

Scripture: Romans 15:1

Denomination: Baptist

Getting Ready For Christmas

Contributed by Douglas Vincent on Nov 19, 2004

Romans 13:11-14 gives us three ways to prepare for Jesus’ Coming

Intro 1. General – 2. Specific – Are we prepared for the coming of our Savior? 3. Text –Romans 13: 11 Besides this you know what hour it is, how it is full time now for you to wake from sleep. For salvation is nearer to us now than when we first believed; 12 the night is far gone, the day is at ...read more

Scripture: Romans 13:11-14

Denomination: Methodist

A Philosophy Of Gratitude-- Thanksgiving 3 Of 4 Series

Contributed by David Hodgin on Dec 2, 2005

A right philosophy is one that is overflowing with thankfulness. Gratitude is nothing less than the key to happiness.

A Philosophy of Gratitude—Thanksgiving 3 of 4 Col 2:6 So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, Col 2:7 rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. Col 2:8 See to it that no one takes you captive ...read more

Scripture: Colossians 2:6-8

Grace And Right Living Series

Contributed by Martin Wiles on Jun 6, 2011

The believer should stay as far away as possible from anything that would damage their testimony and the name of our Lord.

Romans 13:11-14 Introduction: A. Have you ever been late for something important? 1. The Home Alone movies were some of my favorites. I think they accurately portray what a young boy would do if his parents left him home alone-whether on purpose or accidentally. 2. In the first two movies, the ...read more

Scripture: Romans 13:11-14

Denomination: Baptist

The High Priestly Prayer

Contributed by Jay Bunting on Jul 2, 2011

Jesus' prayer for us and using our spiritual gifts.

John 17:1-19 : The High Priestly Prayer I was sent this story last week by e-mail: A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation. They talked about so many things and various subjects. When they eventually ...read more

Scripture: John 17:1-19

Denomination: Anglican

The Glory Of God Through Us! Series

Contributed by Paul Clemente on Feb 21, 2009

As a Believer of Christ, God sees you like a mirror capable of reflecting God’s glory and every Christian has a responsibility to allow God’s glory to reflect more and more.

Angels we have heard on high, singing sweetly o’er the plains. And the mountains in reply, echoing their joyous strain: Gloria, Gloria, in excelsis Deo! Glory to God in the highest! The word glory appears over 350 times in the Bible! It’s a significant word in Scriptures. What does it ...read more

Scripture: 2 Corinthians 3:1-18

Denomination: Independent/Bible