Sermons on Dirty Jokes:

School Supplies

Contributed by Joseph Smith on Jun 17, 2003

Drama dialogue, written as if a conversation between Paul, a tribune, and a narrator, with "chorus" lines for the children of the congregation. Supplies we need for learning are a listening mind, a loving heart, and a desire to grow.

Narrator: I knew very little about the people of the Way, but I did know that everyone in Jerusalem was talking about one of their leaders. We were all most upset about Paul. You see, Paul – actually we knew his name as Saul – Paul had been such a mighty force in our community only a few short ...read more

Denomination: Baptist

One Of You Will Betray Me

Contributed by Juan Lane on Aug 7, 2005

Describes how no one at the table can deny the fact that they have the potential to betray Christ

One of You Will Betray Me by Juan Lane Matthew 26:21-26:22 (KJV) 21 And as they did eat, he said, Verily I say unto you, that one of you shall betray me. 22 And they were exceeding sorrowful, and began every one of them to say unto him, Lord, is it I? One of you will betray me Betray - ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 26:21-22, Psalm 41:9

Denomination: Pentecostal

Handing Over The Keys

Contributed by Mari Larson on Sep 7, 2014

The authority to forgive (The Office of the Keys) has been given to us, but we don't use it.

Church life on the prairies of the Midwest is often quite different from church life here (in Arizona). Small congregations of Norwegian, Swedish, Danish, Finnish, and German origins are slowly dying out, and since we no longer preach in the languages of our mother-lands (Thank God!), and because ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 18:15-20

Denomination: Lutheran

He That Reapeth

Contributed by Evie Megginson on Oct 18, 2000

Years ago, in a small town in Texas, a German mer-chant and his entire family came forward at the close of a service to receive Christ as Savior and Lord.

Years ago, in a small town in Texas, a German mer-chant and his entire family came forward at the close of a service to receive Christ as Savior and Lord. When the pastor asked him to tell his experience, this is what he said. "Yesterday I closed my store early and went for a ride with my family. ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 126:5-6

Denomination: Baptist

A Living Faith!

Contributed by Dewayne Gamez on Dec 11, 2004

A continuation of a study in faith

A Living Faith Hebrews 11:21-22 James 2:17-26 Abel. Enoch. Noah. Abraham. Isaac. Joseph. Can you tell me what they all have in common? They were all listed in the faith chapter as men of faith. They all showed their faith in God when he gave them directives. Some were pretty drastic directives, ...read more

Scripture: James 2:17-26

Palms Or Passion?

Contributed by Ajai Prakash on Mar 12, 2008

Two thousand years ago the crowd desired Jesus to do something spectacular in Jerusalem. There are many today who would want see Jesus do something awesome or miraculous, maybe raise a dead man before taking a step to acknowledge Him as their King and Lo

Illustration: “Hey sanna, ho sanna, sanna, sanna, hey sanna, ho sanna sanna sanna , ho sanna, hey sanna, Hey, hey JC, JC won’t you smile at me. Jesus Christ, if you’re divine, turn my water into wine. Prove to me that you’re no fool. Walk across my swimming pool. Hey sanna, ho sanna, sanna, ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 21:1-11

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Does God Punish Us When We Sin? Series

Contributed by Brian Atwood on Mar 16, 2007

The misinformation about God unnecessarily makes many people far too afraid of Him when they should be seeking Him as their dearest friend.

Do you remember how, one of the most unpleasant emotions you suffered as a kid was waiting to be punished? Do you remember that? If you had a particularly tender conscience it was especially hard for you. When you did something wrong you just knew you were going to be found out, and you just ...read more

Scripture: 1 John 1:5-10

Denomination: Baptist

From Riches To Rags Series

Contributed by Gordon Curley on Sep 7, 2014

From Riches to Rags - (PowerPoint slides to accompany this talk are available on request – email: gcurley@gcurley.info)

SERMON OUTLINE: A). BACKGROUND (VS 1-3): • Corinth was cosmopolitan • Corinth was commercial • Corinth was corrupt (B). THE CORINTHIAN’S RICHES (VS 4-7): • they were genuinely saved (vs 4) • they were greatly enriched (vs 5) • they were securely ...read more

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 1:4-17

Denomination: Brethren

Is Good, Good Enough?

Contributed by Wayne Du Toit on Dec 4, 2015

When is being good not good enough? How would you define being Good? (Not being as bad as the person next to you?)

Listen: http://www.wayneamydutoit.com/Wayne/is-good-good-enough/ {Desire – to change, motivating factors / consequences / benefits} I have heard people say that that are “good” people. That if there is a God and He is a God of love that He would not throw them into hell, because ...read more

Scripture: 1 Corinthians 1:18-31

Denomination: Pentecostal

Helps For The Hazards Of Freedom Or I’m Free…help! Series

Contributed by Sherm Nichols on Jan 28, 2014

While grace sets us free, it carries a lot of hazards. Here are some helps with those hazards

Some dogs chase cars. Have you ever wondered what would happen if a dog ever caught one? What would he do with it? -This sort of thing actually happened. Imagine, if you will, that you’re a racing greyhound. You have spent your entire life being trained to chase an electric bunny that ...read more

Scripture: Galatians 5:1-26

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Gaining Your Bearings In Life Series

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Jul 4, 2011

Careful: Many of life's blessings can be enjoyed, but they carry with them the potential to work against you.

Gaining Your Bearings in Life (Proverbs 18:20-24) 1. I was told that I had used the joke from last week's sermon just 4 weeks earlier, about the 2 Jews, the 2 Catholics, and the 2 Baptists stranded on an island. Oops. 2. So, to redeem myself, I will tell one only about two Jews stranded on an ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 18:20-24

Denomination: Independent/Bible

Baptized!

Contributed by Scott Carmer on Jan 9, 2006

Baptism means that we have been forgiven, cleansed, healed, initiated into God’s family, and set on a mission.

Baptized! Mark 1:4-11 Baptism of our Lord January 8, 2006 Toni and I moved to Denver, Colorado in the late summer of 1977 in order to get settled in for the beginning of my first year of seminary. From our student housing unit, you only had to look west to see three of the fourteen thousand foot ...read more

Scripture: Mark 1:4-11

Denomination: Methodist

The Pursuit Of Purity

Contributed by Matt Skiles on Jun 10, 2021

God says we are to keep ourselves pure. God expects us to be holy – separated from anything that would defile us. We are to be like Him.

1 Timothy 4:12-Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity. 1 Timothy 5:22-Lay hands suddenly on no man, neither be partaker of other men’s sins: keep thyself pure. Christian believers are called to ...read more

Scripture: 1 Timothy 5:22

Denomination: Pentecostal

Conscience Isolates Every Man

Contributed by Curtis Kittrell on Aug 31, 2001

Why Are Christians Afraid to Listen to Conscience?

Conscience Isolates Every Man Why Are Christians Afraid to Listen to Conscience? OUTLINE Introduction: Some in the Christian church are not sure of what they believe about the human conscience. The Word of God reminds us that conscience is always on God’s side, judging conduct in the light of the ...read more

Scripture: John 8:9-11

Denomination: Pentecostal

Learning To Walk His Walk Series

Contributed by Chris Kelly on Sep 20, 2006

A spin-off of the FOX hit series, “24”. This series chronicles a single day in the life of Jesus from Mark 1:16 – 39. As we watch the lifestyle that Jesus lives, we can learn how to live like him!

0900: Learning to Walk His Walk Series: 24: A Day in the Life of Jesus March 19, 2006 **** “24” video clip on special ops. I’m going to give you a opportunity to be a CTU agent today and train for a covert operation (just like the one you just saw!) This is of course a training session. Your ...read more

Scripture: Mark 1:16-39

Denomination: Wesleyan