Sermons on Dirty Jokes:

New Self

Contributed by Tim Zingale on Nov 22, 2004

A sermon for the 1st Sunday in Advent

First Sunday in Advent Matthew 24:36-44 "New Self" ""But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only. As were the days of Noah, so will be the coming of the Son of man. For as in those days before the flood they were eating and drinking, ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 24:36-44

Denomination: Lutheran

God's Marriage Problem Series

Contributed by Glenn Pease on Mar 31, 2021

God is not a bachelor. He knows about the problems of marriage from the inside, for He has struggled with it ever since He chose Israel to be His bride.

Nothing can be so funny as that which can be so tragic. There is nothing funny about tragedy, but one of the paradoxes of life is that tragedy produces so much humor. Tragedy and comedy are so close they are Siamese twins. There is nothing funny about a concussion, for example, but if you get one ...read more

Scripture: James 4:3-4

A God's-Eye View Of Prayer Series

Contributed by Daniel Habben on Feb 14, 2016

Paul helps us understand what a privilege prayer is.

The new church treasurer was struggling to open a combination lock on the offering safe. He had been told the combination, but couldn’t quite remember it. Finally he went to the pastor and asked for help. The pastor came into the room and began to turn the dial. After the first two numbers he ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 3:14-21

Denomination: Lutheran

7 More Ways To Be Wise

Contributed by Todd Riley on Mar 25, 2006

Select verses from Provebs 26-31

Islington Baptist Church March 26, 2006 Proverbs 26-31 Scripture reading: Exodus 32 Even more ways to be wise This we must remember if we are going to be truly wise. The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline. Proverbs ...read more

Denomination: Baptist

The Innkeeper-A Monologue

Contributed by George Barton on Jan 10, 2006

A monologue based on Luke 2:7 and Matthew 2

S20051028 THE INNKEEPER. A MONONOLGUE Note: The following monologue has some anachronisms. They have been put there deliberately by the author for two reasons: first, to make the old story seem more contemporary; and secondly, for sake of some humor. The dates given are those of Frank R. Klassen ...read more

Scripture: Luke 2:7

Denomination: Baptist

The Innkeeper-A Monologue

Contributed by George Barton on Jan 19, 2006

Traces the thoughts of the innkeeper from the night of the birth of Christ till after the visit of the Magi.

S20051028 Luke 2:7-38; Matthew 2:1-12 THE INNKEEPER. A MONONOLGUE Note: The following monologue has some anachronisms. They have been put there deliberately by the author for two reasons: first, to make the old story seem more contemporary; and secondly, for sake of some humor. The dates given ...read more

Denomination: Baptist

Misplaced Priorities - Fools Series

Contributed by Gene Gregory on Apr 12, 2008

First in series on Foolish Living, based on fools found in the Bible. Examines qualities of a person God calls a fool.

MISPLACED PRIORITIES This week we celebrated April Fools Day. No one knows for certain, when or where this special day began, but it is celebrated in one form or another, often by other names, in many countries around the world. I still remember the first April Fool’s joke pulled on me. I was ...read more

Scripture: Luke 12:13-21

Denomination: Baptist

The Reason To Cheer

Contributed by Anthony Zibolski on Apr 10, 2015

Advent message as Jesus came into the city of Jerusalem to the cheers and jeers of the crowd.

The reason to Cheer John 12:12-19 Introduction We will look for the next two weeks at the earthly life of Jesus. We will take a break from our series and will finish that up after Easter. This time period of Jesus spans over 30 years from His miraculous birth to His horrifying death, to ...read more

Scripture: John 12:12-19

Denomination: Nazarene

The Warning Series

Contributed by Glenn Pease on Mar 31, 2021

The Bible makes it clear that men are responsible for how they respond to warnings. If they choose to ignore them and are unprepared, their blood will be on their own head.

On a Friday afternoon, May 31, 1889 a man by the name of Daniel Peyton came galloping down the road in Johnstown, Penn. Sparks were flying from the hoofs of his big bay horse. He was shouting for all he was worth that the damn had broken. Some believed his warning and fled to the hills. Others ...read more

Scripture: 2 Peter 3:1-13

Jesus The Joy In You Series

Contributed by Mark Aarssen on Jul 12, 2016

Friends Jesus does not want to see you end up on the burn pile of unfruitful unjoyful human beings. Jesus wants you and I to remain in Him for only in Him will we find the kind of Joy to sustain us through this life which can sometimes be a vale of tears.

Jesus the Joy in You John 15:1-11 15 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. 3 You are already clean because of the word I have ...read more

Scripture: John 15:1-11

Denomination: Presbyterian/Reformed

Jesus Cleanses Your Temple

Contributed by Samuel Stone on Nov 15, 2007

Jesus cleanses the temple.

(Mt 21.12—17; Mk 11.15—19; Lk 19.45—48) 13 The Passover of the Jews was near, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. 14 In the temple he found people selling cattle, sheep, and doves, and the money changers seated at their tables. 15 Making a whip of cords, he drove all of them out of the temple, both the ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 21:12-17

Denomination: Presbyterian/Reformed

The Pumpkin Patch Gospel

Contributed by Scott Kircher on Oct 31, 2010

Based on the Pumpkin Patch Parable. This sermon is great for Halloween or Harvest time or when the kids are in service.

The Pumpkin Patch Gospel Slide Welcome to Family Sunday. I love family Sunday’s. I love seeing our youth up here leading us in worship and our kids able to come in and worship with us and for believing kids to participate with us as we commune together with the Lord. It is exciting to be ...read more

Scripture: 2 Corinthians 5:17

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Come On Down

Contributed by Alison Bucklin on Sep 14, 2023

Until God changes us, we cannot be good. But we have to accept his invitation.

Once upon a time, about 2,000 years ago, a man named Zacchaeus wanted something so badly he climbed a tree to get it - in a skirt. I'm not too fond of climbing trees myself, even in jeans; I'm not always sure about getting down again. But this man didn't care. He lived in a town in ...read more

Scripture: Luke 19:1-10

Denomination: Presbyterian/Reformed

Matthew 5 - Part 15 - Sex, Adultery, Lust And Gouging Your Eye Out! Series

Contributed by Ross Cochrane on Jan 5, 2010

I notice when Jesus confronts me, He goes for the heart. I am amazed at what I am capable of tolerating in my life unless I actively choose to His way to deal with it. I need to be vigilant in this important area concerning my thought life.

Matthew 5 - Part 15 - SEX, ADULTERY, LUST AND GOUGING YOUR EYE OUT! Too often when Julie and I watch a movie, I am forced to turn it off or over because of the coarse nature of the movie, particularly relating to the sex scenes. It is taken for granted that sex is a necessary part of most movies. ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 5:27-30

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Last Raps Series

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Oct 8, 2018

As he concludes his letter, the writer to the Hebrews reminds us to give special care to three relationships in our spiritual lives.

Last Raps (Hebrews 13:7-23) 1. A game warden catches an unlicensed fisherman in the act. "You're going to pay a big fine for all those fish in your bucket" But, officer, I didn't catch these -- they are my pet fish and I just bring them here to swim. When they're done they jump back into the ...read more

Scripture: Hebrews 13:7-23

Denomination: Independent/Bible