Sermons on Dirty Jokes:

Guard Your Heart

Contributed by Bart Leger on Nov 20, 2002

Be careful what you allow into your mind.

Proverbs 4:23-27 Guard Your Heart How many of you love to receive advice? Oh, isn’t advice great? It’s cool as cornbread. That is as long as you’re the one giving it. The great thing about advice is it’s free to give out. You can give out all you want to, spread it all around, and it doesn’t cost ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 4:23-27

Denomination: Independent/Bible

A Great Lesson:waiting/Patience #1 Series

Contributed by Wade Martin Hughes, Sr on Mar 5, 2003

Patience and Waiting are dirty words today in the church because it is associated with troubles and tribulations. God wants His people to have patience and be entire.

#1 THE GREAT LESSON? WAITING/ PATIENECE This is part #1 By Wade Martin Hughes, Sr, Kyfingers@aol.com 1. Waiting and Patience -- the dirty words? ; 2. Habakkuk’s Waiting Room; 3. Danger of waiting and spiritual rust; 4. The five levels of waiting; 5. Waiting with Joy and gladness 6. Long ...read more

Scripture: Isaiah 40:31, 2 Corinthians 12:8-9

Denomination: Assembly Of God

Washed Clean

Contributed by Simon Rundell on Jul 11, 2001

Children’s Assemby / Sermon using a really clever piece of magic/basic science to illustrate the dirtiness of sin and the washing clean of Christ

Washed Clean based on an idea by Daniel Henderson Tools: 2 Clear Glass Bowls 1 small bottle of Iodine 1 bottle of Film Fixer 1 Purificator or Handkerchief Preparation: Fill the two bowls with approximately 1 litre of water, in one bowl have approximately 150-200mls of fixer in the bottom [adding ...read more

Scripture: John 3:16

Denomination: Episcopal/Anglican

Hard Work

Contributed by Bala Samson on Jan 2, 2015

Life would not always be hunky-dory, we got to roll up our sleeves and be ready to dirty our fingers! Are you there?

Hard work! Ruth 2:7”She said, 'Please let me glean and gather among the sheaves after the reapers.' So she came, and she has continued from early morning until now, except for a short rest.” Friend, may be you are poised, smart, educated, technically qualified, charming and ...read more

Scripture: Ruth 2:1-7

Denomination: Pentecostal

Giving Thanks To God Series

Contributed by Steve Shepherd on Nov 13, 2012

Some thoughts about thanksgiving from God’s Word. 1- In a list of sins ingratitude is a big one 2- In the presence of all people we must give thanks 3- In a world of impurity there must be thanksgiving 4- In the midst of asking we must give thanks

INTRO.- ILL.- It was on Thanksgiving many years ago that actress Helen Hayes cooked her first turkey. Before serving it she announced to her husband, Charles MacArthur, and their son James: “Now I know this is the first turkey I’ve ever cooked. If it isn’t right, I don’t want anybody to say a ...read more

Scripture: 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

The Outsiders

Contributed by Derrick Tuper on Oct 20, 2011

Are we mindful of how we come across to unbelievers? Are we aware of how the unchurched look at those who call themselves Christians? It would serve us well to gain a better understanding about how important it is to present ourselves in the right way.

THE OUTSIDERS INTRODUCTION: We come to church and we’re mostly surrounded by “insiders” people who are Christians like us but how much consideration do we give to those who are still outside? Are we mindful of how we come across to unbelievers? Do we care how we present ...read more

Scripture: Colossians 4:5-6

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

The Sleeping Church Series

Contributed by Ajai Prakash on Oct 7, 2014

In the past 50 odd years we have seen moral compromise in the body of Christ and our nation. Put another way, when did the church fall asleep? What caused the church to fall asleep? Are we to remain sleeping or wake up the sleeping giant? I don't have ...

Opening illustration: Where was the church when prayer was taken out of schools in 1962? Or when abortion was legalized in 1973? Or when same-sex marriage started to gain momentum to the point that Christian businesses are persecuted for refusing to bake a wedding cake for a gay couple? Put ...read more

Scripture: Judges 16:10-21

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Stewardship: Calling Of Samuel Series

Contributed by Peter Loughman on Oct 25, 2006

Stewardship sermon....kind of, sort of. God calls us to both ministry and stewardship - but expects obedience First joke is not funny, but is a set up for later

A certain Jewish couple, expecting to the their first child, argued hotly about what name should be given to their little boy. This went on for weeks. Finally, exhausted, they asked their rabbi to intervene. The exasperated mom-to-be said, "I want to name my child after my father, but my husband ...read more

Scripture: 1 Samuel 3:1-21

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

Jesus Is Risen -- No Foolin'!

Contributed by Perry Greene on Mar 27, 2018

The resurrection is not hoax or an April Fool's Day joke, Jesus is alive. There is power in an eyewitness. This is especially true with Mary Magdalene in what she saw and heard at Jesus' tomb.

1. No one knows the origin of April Fool’s Day but it has been around for centuries. Some of the most famous April Fool’s Day Pranks are: • The Great Moon Hoax is the first big media trick. The New York Sun prints an article in 1835 claiming that astronomers have discovered life on the moon. More ...read more

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Keeping Your Faith Series

Contributed by Jeffery Anselmi on Apr 30, 2005

How can we keep our faith during the trials of life?

INTRODUCTION „X SLIDE #1 „X We have talked about how difficult it can be to maintain a strong faith. It gets more difficult when we experience suffering because of our faith. „X I cannot imagine what it would be like to have to really suffer for my faith, to literally put my life on the line ...read more

Scripture: 1 Peter 4:1-6

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

When Failure Is Success

Contributed by Ray Ellis on Oct 11, 2004

From the world’s view Jesus was a failure. Jesus calls us to become a failure according to this world’s system and find success.

When Failure is Success -It’s not a disgrace to fail- John 17:14-19 I came to faith in Jesus Christ when I was in my tenth grade of High School. I confessed my sins, repented and committed my life to Jesus. I did my best to honor and follow the Lord during my High School years. One of my class ...read more

Scripture: John 17:14-19

Denomination: Free Methodist

Mark 16:6-8 An Easter Sermon

Contributed by David Smith on Apr 21, 2005

Father searches for the true nature of God.

(6)...?Do not be alarmed; you are looking for Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He has been raised; he is not here. Look, there is the place they laid him. (7)But go, tell his disciples and Peter that he is going ahead of you to Galilee; there you will see him, just as he told you.? (8) So they ...read more

Denomination: Episcopal/Anglican

Are We Christians Or Chameleons ???

Contributed by Kenneth Burisek on Jan 13, 2007

So many christians today try to have both God and the world---this sermon warns of the dangers of trying to have it both ways---presented in country style !!!

Sermon---Are we Christians or Chameleons ??? by Pastor Kenneth Burisek The Ole’ Country Church Medford, Wisconsin Romans 12:2 * Chameleon---a lizard that changes color---a tree-dwelling lizard with long thin legs---a strong curled tail---a long sticky tongue---and the ability to change ...read more

Scripture: Romans 12:2

Denomination: Independent/Bible

An Easter Sermon (Mark 16:6-8)

Contributed by David Smith on Nov 13, 2007

The resurrection of Jesus is Good News, surely? So why is everybody so scared? ...

(6)...“Do not be alarmed; you are looking for Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He has been raised; he is not here. Look, there is the place they laid him. (7)But go, tell his disciples and Peter that he is going ahead of you to Galilee; there you will see him, just as he told you.” (8) So they ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 16:6-8

Denomination: Episcopal/Anglican

Loose Lips Sink Ships

Contributed by Gregory Mc Donald on Feb 10, 2010

The secret to victory...any victory, is closeness with Jesus...knowing Him...drawing near to His presence will reveal what is in our hearts. The reason many Christians continue to gossip and slander is because they never really have been close to Christ.

LOOSE LIPS SINK SHIPS JAMES 3:1 12 Last week I spoke to you about the thoughts that come into our minds and how we can hatch snake eggs and weave spider webs if we don't begin to learn to think Scripturally. We have to be very careful about our thought life. I also printed Philippians 4:8 on the ...read more

Scripture: James 3:1-12