Sermons on Crude Joking:

Renovations: The Pudding Principle Series

Contributed by Dan Cale on Jun 8, 2009

A 5 week series on the book of Philippians that parallels a renovation project in the church. This message deals with the end result of renovation.

Renovations: Making it New Again Pt 5 – The Pudding Principle Philippians 4:1-13 We started some time ago talking about renovations. The definition of the word is simple: 1. To restore to an earlier condition, as by repairing or remodeling. 2. To impart new vigor; to revive. In Chapter 1 we looked ...read more

Scripture: Philippians 4:1-13

Denomination: *other

I Do Series

Contributed by Kent Kessler on Aug 30, 2007

WHAT AM I TO DO SINCE I HAVE BEEN SAVED? THESE NT PASSAGES SPEAK OF WHAT A BELIEVER IS TO BE ABOUT: "LET, LET US, KEEP ON, DO, DO NOT, BE, IF, LIVE, SHOULD" IN THE NT.

LET...’ Ephesians ...no one deceive you with empty words because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Therefore do not be partners with them. Philippians ...your gentleness be evident to all. Colossians ...your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with ...read more

Denomination: Methodist

I Will Arise!

Contributed by Charles Mallory on Mar 10, 2013

There is no such thing in this physical life as "passing the point of no return" with our loving Father. He awaits our return to Him.

I believe all of us know one of the main reasons that retailers such as “Home Depot” and “Lowe’s” have managed to be so successful. Three words: Do. It. Yourself! Not only will these home-improvement giants sell you what you need to fix up and spruce up your home or business, but they will even ...read more

Scripture: Luke 15:11-32

Denomination: Free Methodist

Thomas- The "Concrete Man"

Contributed by Rev Ken Shedenhelm on Apr 5, 2013

Doubts come and go, and often they can lead to greater faith. But living in doubt will leave us in our sin because we are saved "by grace through faith." Blessed are those who believe but have not seen because, in matters of faith, believing is seeing.

"Tom- The Concrete Man" John 20:19-31 Did you hear the joke about the neighbor who loved children in the abstract? A young married couple who had several children lived next door to an older man who frequently told them how much he loved children, especially their little tykes. But when these same ...read more

Scripture: John 20:19-31

Denomination: Presbyterian/Reformed

Checking Your Anger

Contributed by Vinnie Cappetta on Jul 26, 2011

Checked anger is healthy and will be used by God. Unchecked anger is always bad/unhealthy. Learn how to check your anger.

Turn to Ephesians 4:25-32 Seeming contradiction between v.26 “in your anger do not sin” and v.31 “get rid of anger” Let’s see if we can resolve the tension Your Old Self Walk through background to Ephesians 4:25-32 Paul contrasts Gentile behavior with behavior of ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 4:25-32

Denomination: Evangelical/Non-Denominational

God Speaks With Crystalline Clarity

Contributed by Jon Mackinney on Aug 29, 2011

In the hours of Christ's Crucifixion and at the moment of His death, God was talking. The people there missed it, for the most part. But we need to hear what He is saying.

Passage: Matthew 27:45-56 Intro: One of my favorite parts of Revelation is chapter 10:3-4 1. seven thunders, which “speak” so that John is ready to write what they say, but he is prevented. 2. I believe this is God talking. 3. wish we knew what He said. But we do know what He ...read more

Scripture: Matthew 27:45-56

Denomination: Evangelical Free

Diagnosis: You Have A Heart Problem! Series

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Aug 11, 2014

If you have a physical heart problem, you can ignore it and take the consequences or adjust to the problem and make the best of it; the same is true when it comes to our invisible, inner being.We are going to discuss this inner heart problem.

Diagnosis: You Have A Heart Problem! (Mark 7:14-23) 1. Joke: Man in church inherited 1 million dollars; afraid the shock would kill him… Asked pastor to break news. Pastor asked, “Charlie, if you inherited 1 million dollars, what would you do?” Charline: “Give ½ to ...read more

Scripture: Mark 7:14-23

Denomination: Independent/Bible

We Do Not Live To Ourselves Series

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on May 4, 2015

It is not just about “God and me,” as some less-than-social Christians might assert. In God’s Kingdom, our behavior affects others and their behavior affects us.

We Do Not Live to Ourselves (I Timothy 6:1-5) 1. Last week I was talking to Phyllis Roussakis….was going to find a Norwegian joke. 2. A Welshman, Scot and Englishman are walking when they come across a lantern and a genie pops out and grants them one wish each. The Scot says: “I am a ...read more

Scripture: 1 Timothy 6:1-5

Denomination: Independent/Bible

Are You Paying Attention

Contributed by Monte Brown on Feb 28, 2014

It is crucial to keep a firm grip on the gospel of Jesus Christ, less we be drawn away by the enticements of the environment around us.

Are You Paying Attention! How many times have we heard that in our lives, growing up! Well this morning follow along with me in Hebrews 2:1-4 as the writer of Hebrews says to us Are You Paying Attention. It is crucial to keep a firm grip on the gospel of Jesus Christ, less we be drawn away by ...read more

Scripture: Hebrews 2:1-4

Denomination: Baptist

Jesus, The Tree Killer Series

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Dec 7, 2015

When Jesus cursed the fig tree, this served as an object lesson to teach us about the dangers of unbelief and the blessings of trust in the Lord.

Jesus, the Tree Killer (Mark 11;12-14, 20-25) 1. I have a Christmas joke for Geeks. Q: What do you get if you cross an iPad with a Christmas tree? A: A pineapple! 2. Christmas trees help set an atmosphere, do they not? 3. Do you remember the Charlie Brown Christmas? He buys this tiny, ...read more

Scripture: Mark 11:12-25

Denomination: Independent/Bible

Don't Just Empty The House And Sweep It Series

Contributed by W Pat Cunningham on Feb 14, 2016

Don't just empty your life of vices; fill it up with prayer, fasting, almsgiving and good work.

3rd Sunday in Lent 2016 Extraordinary Form “As the eyes of servants are on the hands of their masters, so are our eyes on the Lord our God, until He has mercy on us.” The words of the psalmist could and should integrate our meditation on God’s word today, because all the ills of ...read more

Scripture: Ephesians 5:1-12

Denomination: Catholic

Working With Human Nature Series

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on Feb 13, 2012

God created human beings to be social, reasoning creatures. His Word advises us about how to get along with others, how to relate to others, and how to live wisely and reasonably.

Working With Human Nature (Proverbs 19:3-4, 6-7) 1. ABC News reported a strange story this week: Arthur Livingston, of Prosperity, S.C., may feel prosperous and alive, but his credit report says, "File not scored because subject is deceased." That’s because Livingston’s bank, Bank of America, has ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 19:3-7

Denomination: Independent/Bible

"Let's Go Get'em"

Contributed by Bill Burress on Jan 12, 2011

Like the lost sheep we must be the shepherd and bring those who have fallen away back to Christ.

“Let’s Go Get’em” Joke: There was a life insurance salesman who claimed his company paid their claim so quickly that their office, which is on the tenth floor of a eighty story ...read more

Scripture: Luke 15:1-7

Denomination: Christian/Church Of Christ

Friendship Can Hurt

Contributed by Dr. Ronald Shultz on May 20, 2012

Is the pain worth it?

Ps 41:9 Yea, mine own familiar friend, in whom I trusted, which did eat of my bread, hath lifted up his heel against me. KJV Mic 7:5-6 5 Trust ye not in a friend, put ye not confidence in a guide: keep the doors of thy mouth from her that lieth in thy bosom. 6 For the son dishonoureth the father, ...read more

Scripture: Psalm 41:9

Denomination: Baptist

Hazards Ahead: Watch Out! Series

Contributed by Ed Vasicek on May 13, 2019

Life is like a journey on a winding mountain road; we need to be alert to the hazards!

Hazards Ahead: Watch Out! (Proverbs 27:4-7) 1. Moms come in all varieties. Rather than share a joke about moms, today I will share a couple of humorous true stories: My mother, a master of guilt trips, showed me a photo of herself waiting by a phone that never rings. “Mom, I call all the time,” ...read more

Scripture: Proverbs 27:4-7

Denomination: Independent/Bible