Sermon Central
-
Santa Claus – A Bit Of Comedy And Realism Series
Contributed by Ron Ferguson on Dec 5, 2025 (message contributor)
Summary: We have here comedy and realism. We all know Santa, the delusion of the world, is fake, but here is a different sort of posting. Mathematics and Science are involved but I am not expert there, so facts may not be greatly accurate. This is more for your enjoyment.
SANTA CLAUS – A BIT OF COMEDY AND REALISM
28 years ago I used to belong to a Christian forum and one of the fellows there posted an article on Santa Claus that was sort of comical but realistic at the same time, hence the title of this posting. I do not know the origin of the post.
Over the past 3 years on Sermon Central I have forwarded posts that connect with the false Christ, Santa Claus. The most recent is one today on the RIGHTS and WRONGS of Christmas.
The world will acknowledge Santa but not Christ. It will sing its Jingle Bells but not lovely Christian carols. It will eat, drink and be merry but will not give a thought to two godly people in a stable/manger because there was no vacancy in the inn, and they could not afford any other extravagant accommodation.
While the world occupies its mind with Santa Claus and feasting and gluttony and Christmas trees and presents and decorations and all the rest, the Christian should be thinking of the Saviour who came into the world.
The great travesty these days is that the divide between Christians and Christian beliefs, and non-Christians and their godlessness, is growing wider all the time, helped along in our days by Christian-repressive legislations.
The world can keep its Santa Claus but I will keep the Babe of Bethlehem!
This post had the Title – “SANTA - DISAPPEARED INTO THIN AIR IN THE COURSE OF DUTY”
I am posting this with updated figures under the title of “SANTA CLAUS – A BIT OF COMEDY AND REALISM.” Here we go -
SPECIAL NOTE:- It has done my head in trying to update and convert all these figures from the original post from 1997. It has taken me hours – I am not a professional mathematician or scientist - just a retired teacher. I do not claim these figures are strictly accurate but it is the best I can do. In any case the message is unmistakeably clear. I hope you enjoy this. (And any super brain may be able to come up with something a bit more accurate).
IS THERE A SANTA CLAUS?? OR WAS THERE . . . . ONCE??
[1.]. No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are at least 300 000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has really seen.
[2.] There are 2.6 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT, since Santa doesn’t appear to handle the Moslem, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total – 390 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average
(census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that’s 111 million homes. One presumes there’s at least one good child in each.
[3.]. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels from east to west (which is logical). This works out to 1 005 visits a second for the 111 million homes. This is to say that for each “Christian” household with good children, Santa has one-thousandth ( 1/1 000) of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move to the next house.
Assuming that each of these 111 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which of course, we know to be false, but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 87 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding, etc.
This means that Santa’s sleigh is moving at 780 miles per second, 3661 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle on/from earth, travelled at 192.22 km/sec ( 119 miles per second ) (692,000 km/h; 430,000 mph), which was achieved by the Parker Solar Probe at 11:53:48 UTC on 24 December 2024 approaching the sun, drawn by gravity. A conventional reindeer can run, at tops, 15 miles per hour.
[4.]. The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set or around 2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 435 268 tons not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that “flying reindeer” can pull 10 times the normal weight, we cannot do the job with 8 or even 9 deer. We need 214 200 reindeer. This increases the payload (not even counting the weight of the sleigh) to 467 398 tons. Again, for comparison, this is 6.64 times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth II liner.
