Roommates, Bad Dates And Great Mates: Dating Series

1. Do I have a plan for this date?

I set up a date, I’m going out on a date, do I have a plan for this date? First, if we are looking for the right person, we have to commit to stay within God’s boundaries for dating. Listen, it is unrealistic for you to think that you can step outside of God’s plan and God’s will for your dating life, and still expect God to bless that relationship, or expect God to bring in the right person into the wrong situation. God can’t bless it. God can’t bring the right person, until you are living within His plan for your life. So to receive God’s full blessings in this area, we have to follow what God says is best for us. And two weeks ago, when we kicked off this series, Pastor Nelson talked about how God created sex to be enjoyable and meaningful, but he also said that God created sex to be between one man, one woman, within the context of a life long marriage commitment. In other words, a dating relationship is not the appropriate place for sex. It’s too soon. And when we step outside of God’s will, sex can be destructive instead of enjoyable and life giving, as God intended it to be. That’s why it is important that before we begin dating someone, even before we go out on a date, that we have a plan for sex up front. We have set our mind. We already know how far we are going to go and what the plan is going to be. Look at what Proverbs 27:12 says, “A prudent person foresees the danger ahead and takes precautions. The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences.” I want you to underline those two words—takes, precaution. You see, we have to take precaution. It’s not even enough to say—I won’t have sex, because sometimes we make up our minds. I’m not going to have sex, but then we will do everything else on a date, and we go on the date and it gets hot and heavy, and it is so hard when you are in the middle of it being hot and heavy and your hormones are raging, it’s hard to say—no, I’m going to stop now. Most of the time, we give in. I talk to couples all the time, Christian couples, and they say, we didn’t want to have sex. We are in a sexual relationship, and now we want to stop and we don’t want to be in it, but we keep falling over and over again. We don’t know what to do. The problem is—they haven’t taken precautions. You have to decide how far you will go before hand and then set boundaries that keep you from approaching that limit that you set. You can’t go right up to the limit and say—I’m not going to have sex and then do everything but sex, and think you are going to have the willpower to stop. You have to set boundaries and keep you away from those danger areas so that you don’t fall to temptation. One of the things that we need to avoid, the things that take us over the age, the things that we need to keep our eyes out on.

The first one is: alcohol. That’s why the Bible says not to get drunk, because you lose control when you get drunk. In fact, when you are drunk, you are not in control. When you are drunk, God’s not in control. When you are drunk, no one is in control. Look at what Paul writes in Ephesians 5, “Don’t act faultlessly, but try to understand what the Lord wants you to do. Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, let the Holy Spirit fill and control you.” So avoid getting drunk.