Reconcile: Jesus Is The Reconciliation Artist Series

This our second message in our 3 week series entitled “Reconcile.” Jesus once said, the scriptures say an “eye for eye and a tooth for a tooth. But I say to you, do not resist the one who is evil. But if someone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.”(Matt 5:38-39) In this simple statement are two profound truths: conflict will happen and following Jesus requires a third way of dealing with conflict. As long as humans exist on the planet, there will be struggles between us, our environment and our God. We can choose to fight it, run from it or be changed by it. If we choose the later, then we recognize that Conflict can be an intense journey toward a new path of holiness, revelation and reconciliation.

It is this journey, we will continue discussing today. Let’s face it: our lives are filled with conflict or if you prefer a softer word, tension. The tension of our lives becomes most apparent in our relationships when our ideas clash with those around us.

As a group of us gathered to discuss the idea of conflict in our lives; I noticed the natural reaction was to say I don’t have any conflict. It wasn’t until I re-framed conflict at relational tension that all of the sudden everyone in the room named someone or some situation that was uncomfortable. Being uncomfortable around someone is a sign that there is conflict or tension. One of us shared about the tension that comes during their small group gatherings, another shared about a recent discussion with an agnostic relative during a holiday meal, we all agreed we new the outspoken uninformed nice guy or girl and finally, I shared a story from a few years ago one of our members and her stylist. It turns out that she loved talking with their hair stylist. After a number of visits, our member invited the hair stylist to ALPHA. ALPHA is a world wide program for those seeking to know more about the faith. My friend shared that it's a place to get your questions answered about Christianity. To our member’s surprise the hairstylist came. In fact, she completed the course and had an incredibly holy Spirit moment on the retreat. Our member was thrilled. However, after the class was over, she never saw the women grace the doors of the church. Every few weeks when our member went into the salon she would see the hairstylist and say hello. There was a lot of tension. After a few months, our member got up enough nerve to ask, why she wasn’t coming church. The stylist explained that while she appreciated the opportunity to learn and the new friendships that came with the time, she would stick with her crystals. The member was stupefied. She didn’t know what to say so she didn’t say anything. After a little while, our member admitted she secretly hoped the stylist would leave the salon. It just made it too uncomfortable.

Isn’t that all of our natural instinct when something causes us pain or tension or conflict, to disengage, runaway and overpower? I would like to propose that all conflict/tension in our lives no matter how awkward can lead us back to reconciliation and ultimately back to the cross.

Message Slide with three types of conflict engagement below:

I would like for you to take a moment to reflect on the last time you felt tension in a relationship and how you approached it. John Paul Lederach in his book "Reconcile" talks about the three ways most us feel about engaging in conflict. His spectrum is:

1 )Fears or dislikes conflict: Run, hide, avoid, give-in, seeks not to hurt, passive-aggressive, relationship matters most even more than being truthful.

2) Accepts conflict as normal: inviting/engaging, listens to understand, committed to mutuality, no need to win, relationship and issues matter

3) Sees conflict as contest: plunges in, listens in order to counter or trap, argumentative/overbearing, winning is crucial, issue-perspectives matter more than relationships, its control.

Did you know the conflict is part of the natural order? Let's look to God's word in the book of Genesis...

The Bible tells a story. In Genesis, God makes a series of creation commitments. God is present with humanity. Humanity and all of the creatures on the planet are a gift from God. God values diversity. God gives us godlike freedom to choose. At the end of chapter one in the 31st verse it says that on the sixth day-God looked over this creation and said, “It is very good.” Dynamic relationships began in that moment when all things had been created by God.

Lederach suggests conflict was designed to part of the interaction between humanity and creation as a constructive tension to further God’s will. However, once sin entered into the dynamic relationships as revealed in the story of the Fall, conflict turns destructive between us and God. As we look at Genesis 3, we see how each of the characters responded to the conflict at hand: