Raising Boys To Be Men

Measured against the biblical teaching on marriage and family, there is no other conclusion to draw than our culture is decaying. In place of biblical roles where men, women, and children find their identity, we have elevated freedom to be whatever you want as the supreme good. In place of the happiness we felt we would achieve by determining our identities and roles within the family, we have tremendous confusion. Yes, families are struggling and many young men lack a road map for their lives. In just a minute, we’ll look at David and Goliath but before here are three contributing areas where there is male confusion on their roles in life.

1. Gender Confusion

Let’s not run to stereotypes about men for being a man is more than knowing how to shave with a straight razor and how to barbeque in the backyard. Here are three myths that are being told in our culture.

Myth #1: There are no essential differences between men and women.

Myth #2: You can change your gender if you want, and that’s totally fine

Myth #3: You can be attracted to whoever comes most naturally to you — boys can like boys, girls can like girls.

Part of the reason gender confusion is novel ideas concerning gender: What does it mean to be a woman or man? Whether we are women or men is not determined just by our sex organs. Our gender includes a complex mix of beliefs, behaviors, and characteristics. How do you act, talk, and behave like a woman or man? Are you feminine or masculine, both, or neither? These are questions that help us get to the core of our gender and gender identity.

Gender-role confusion is an increasingly serious issue in American churches. Many men and women have lost the concept of what it means to be masculine or feminine.

2. Missing Men

According to Erik Hurst, an economist with the University of Chicago, more and more of America’s young men are plugged in. 75% of all leisure time spent by young men who do not have a four-year degree is spent playing video games. They are averaging between twelve and thirteen hours per week playing Xbox or Playstation. Here’s an astonishing fact: People spend a collective 3 billion hours a week playing video games. More than 174 million Americans are gamers. The average young person will spend 10,000 hours gaming by age 21. To put this figure in context, it takes the average college student half that time — 4,800 hours — to earn a bachelor’s degree.

According to this report:

Young men, significantly more so than young women, are stuck in life. Research released in May from the Pew Center documented a historic demographic shift: American men aged 18-30 are now statistically more likely to be living with their parents than with a romantic partner. This trend is significant, for one simple reason: Twenty and thirtysomething men who are living at home, working part-time or not at all, are unlikely to be preparing for marriage. Hurst’s research says that these men are single, unoccupied, and fine with that—because their happiness doesn’t depend on whether they are growing up and living life.

There is a widespread consensus that adolescence has expanded beyond the teen years into their 20s and beyond.

3. Fatherlessness

“Daddy Deprivation” was coined by Blake Wilson, a Houston pastor, to describe the cultural phenomena where children grow up without their fathers. Daddy issues are not just among poor ethnic but it is widespread throughout socioeconomic and ethnic strata of our culture. Brent’s father was been missing in most of his growing-up years even though he was present. Yes, his father was physically present but emotionally absent. Because Brent never really connected to the heart of his father, he is currently debating whether he is bisexual. Chris’ mom has eight children with three dads between them. The promiscuity she ignored in her youth caught up with her when she was ready to be responsible. Her children wanted to connect with their fathers as they grew older. Unfortunately, if she was honest, she wasn’t completely clear on the identity of Chris’ dad. She assigned fatherhood to the man that she could remember she was sleeping with at the time, but Chris found himself at a loss because he wasn’t certain who his father really was.

Tonight, about 40 percent of American children will go to sleep in homes where their fathers do not live. Before they reach the age of eighteen, more than half of our nation’s children are likely to spend at least a significant portion of their childhoods living apart from their fathers. Never before in this country have so many children been voluntarily abandoned by their father. Never before have so many children grown up without knowing what it means to have a father.