Opening Illustration – Demonstrate the types of “wireless” technology available today.
(with each item, conclude with “no restraints . . . unless the battery dies – no signal – etc)
The conclusion of the illustration: Wireless has no restraint – However, the battery never dies with the tongue, and unfortunately, the tongue never loses it signal . . .
The power of the unrestrained tongue should never be underestimated!
James 3:6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell.
Karl Marx (philosopher and author that promoted socialism – The forerunner of communism) once said,
"Give me 26 lead soldiers, and I will conquer the world." He spoke of the letters of the alphabet
1) Letters go together to form words
2) Words when put together in the right combination have the power to either inspire or discourage
3) They have the power to heal, or to wound
Communication is critical . . . Scripture continually calls us to encourage or build-up each other.
Ephes. 4:29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.
I. WHAT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE? (Important to note that each of these situations is based on a desire to hurt someone else . . . These are intents to cause damage.)
A. Intent to Create Contention – Seeking to Stir up Trouble
Proverbs 16:28 (NIV) A perverse man stirs up dissension . . .
Perverse: Directed away from what is right or good. Obstinately persisting in an error or fault; wrongly self-willed or stubborn. Marked by a disposition to oppose and contradict.
1) Such individuals have only their own interests at heart
B. Slander - Remarks with Intent to Hurt Another’s Reputation
Psalm 101:5 Whoever secretly slanders his neighbor, Him I will destroy . . .
C. Backbiting – Speaking Ill of Someone Behind Their Back
1) Described in Jeremiah 9:8 Their tongue is an arrow shot out; It speaks deceit;
One speaks peaceably to his neighbor with his mouth, But in his heart he lies in wait.
Illustration – I recall a pastor friend of mine who told me about a problem he was encountering. He said that he was having communication difficulties with an individual in his church – This person would be cordial to him, but was talking bad to someone else about him! I asked him if he had talked to this person in an attempt to bridge the gap. He said, “No, my deacon is doing that.” So I wanted to know further and I asked him, “Let me understand this correctly . . . This person is having problems with you, or with your deacon??” He said, “No, he is having problems with me.” I then asked him, “So how do you know this guy has a problem with you?” He replied, “My deacon told me.”
I asked further, “Did your deacon do the right thing and encourage this person to go to you personally?” He said, “Oh no, my deacon handles this kind of problem.” . . .
How can anyone build or repair a relationship if they NEVER get together with the person who has the issue?
YOU ARE DOING NO ONE A FAVOR IF YOU ARE WILLING TO STAND THERE AND LET SOMEONE TELL YOU ABOUT THEIR PROBLEM WITH SOMEONE ELSE!!!!
2) This type of backbiting is strongly condemned in Scripture!
Psalm 15:1-3 LORD, who may abide in Your tabernacle? Who may dwell in Your holy hill? 2He who walks uprightly, And works righteousness, And speaks the truth in his heart; 3He who does not backbite with his tongue, Nor does evil to his neighbor, Nor does he take up a reproach against his friend;
D. Demeaning Your Spouse
Illustration: Broken marriages are often the result of a breakdown in communication:
A marriage counselor was attempting to assist a man who was determined that divorce was the only solution: Trying to get to the core of the problem the counselor asked, “Do you and your wife have a grudge?” The man answered, “Actually, we don’t, but we do have a nice carport.”
The counselor tried a different approach, “So you are determined to divorce . . . do you have any grounds?” The man answered, “Why yes. We have almost an acre.”
After a few more questions that yielded fruitless results, the counselor shook his head and said, “Sir, I’m sorry, but I just don’t see any reason why you should divorce your wife.” The man looked at the counselor and said to him, “But you don’t understand! My wife can’t carry on an intelligent conversation!”
1 Peter 3:7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
1) Applies to both the husband and wife
Ephes. 5:33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
II. THE CHRISTIAN’S RESPONSIBILITY
A. Understand the Nature of the Person Who Spills Abuse with Their Tongue . . .
1) They are only interested in the downfall of another – lacking love
Psalm 35:20-21 "For they do not speak peace, but devise deceitful matters against those who are quiet in the land. They also opened their mouth wide against me, and say, ’Aha, aha! Our eyes have seen it.’"
a.They are record keepers of wrongs – 99 things right / 1 thing wrong
1 Cor. 13:5 (NIV) It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
2)They have no desire for reconciliation or peace
Psalm 38:15-16, 20 (NIV) I wait for you, O Lord; you will answer, O Lord my God. 16For I said, "Do not let them gloat or exalt themselves over me when my foot slips."
Skip to verse 20 Those who repay my good with evil slander me when I pursue what is good.
a. It doesn’t matter to them if you are nice to them . . .
3)Their character or nature defies the working of the Holy Spirit
Jude 1:19 (NIV) These are the men who divide you, who follow mere natural instincts and do not have the Spirit.
4)They cannot be trusted
Jude 1:16 (NIV) These men are grumblers and faultfinders; they follow their own evil desires; they boast about themselves and flatter others for their own advantage.
B. Keep Silent! This passage deals with a time when truth is rejected for lies . . . It gives us an indication of what we should do when approached with “stories” about someone else.
Amos 5:10 They hate the one who rebukes in the gate, and they abhor the one who speaks uprightly.
Skip to verse 13 Therefore the prudent keep silent at that time, For it is an evil time.
1) Remember, You Could Be Ensnared Yourself!
Proverbs 11:9 The hypocrite with his mouth destroys his neighbor, but through knowledge the righteous will be delivered.
B. Warn The Offender To Put it Away! Titus 3:1-2 Remind them to be subject to rulers and authorities, to obey, to be ready for every good work, 2to speak evil of no one . . .
1)A gentle rebuke – a reminder that you are anticipating good from them!
CONCLUSION James 3:2-10 (NKJV)
For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body. 3Indeed, we put bits in horses’ mouths that they may obey us, and we turn their whole body. 4Look also at ships: although they are so large and are driven by fierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires. 5Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles! 6And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell. 7For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind. 8But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. 9With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. 10Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so.
Summation:
Isaiah 50:4 "The Lord GOD has given Me the tongue of the learned, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him who is weary . . . ENCOURAGE SOMEONE TODAY!
