Marriage is when you agree to spend the rest of your life sleeping in a room that’s too warm, beside someone who’s sleeping in a room that’s too cold.
I do a fair amount of pre-marital counseling - and though I don’t share that illustration - what I do tell couples that are preparing for marriage is that the key to a successful marriage is not considering your needs to be more important than the needs of your spouse - that it is a life of caring for someone else - making sure they are covered, provided for - and treated fairly.
At a recent business retreat a former member of the Central Intelligence Agency put it this way: "Be as concerned about the success of others, as you are about your own success." To put into Biblical terms: "do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
What we’re going to look at today as we finish our study in Colossians is that principal worked out in marriage, the workplace, and the family. It is the practical section of the book - often Paul will deal with the theological stuff first then apply it in a "rubber meets the road" way for the recipients of the letter - first about relationships, then 5 practical pieces of advise for everyday Christian living.
18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. 20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
" (18) Men and women who were used to a certain system - now freed by Christ - needed some advice. Wives should honor and submit to the leadership of their husbands "as fitting in the Lord" - there is a balance - no one in the partnership is more important, each just has different roles.
" (19) And husbands likewise might have been used to being "all supreme general" - but cannot get away with treating their wives harshly.
" (20) Kids should obey their parents because it pleases God. For a fuller discussion of this see our study in Ephesians 5 & 6 - but suffice it to say that the submission of a wife and the obedience of children are different. It’s pretty clear that while children are under the supervision of their parents that they ought to obey - unless the parent models or tells the child to do something contrary to God’s Word.
" (21) And parents are told - don’t go too far. Don’t "embitter" your kids by treating them unfairly or harshly. It means to provoke, nag, embitter or make resentful. Don’t nitpick your kids and don’t berate them - treat them like you want the Lord to treat you as He disciplines and instructs you.
22 Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. 25 Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favoritism.
" (22-23) Employees - do your work, don’t cheat - and don’t fool around when the boss is gone - be sincere in your service as if you were employed by the Lord Himself.
" (24) Did you know that God will reward you for your good service on the job? So you really are working for Him.
" (25) We are held responsible for our actions - God is watching.
Colossians 4:1
4:1 Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven.
" Ephesians 6 also goes into detail for bosses - not to treat your employees in a demeaning or mean-spirited fashion. Be fair - and don’t make them afraid of punishment - instead treat your employees like the Lord treats you.
Paul’s closing comments in the 4th Chapter are kind of like last words of wisdom - he’s said all he can about the problems facing the churches in the area of Colosse - about the person of Christ - how He is fully man and fully God - fighting the tendency towards asceticism and ritual instead of relationship and worship - battling the worship of angels and the immorality that grows out of a false idea that only spirit is what matters - not what we do in the body.
Now he has five simple pieces of advise - but as simple as they are, they are central to our lives as Christians, our battle against heresy and the enemy - and to the cause of the gospel. They are contained in just the following five verses.
2 Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. 3 And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. 4 Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. 5 Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. 6 Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
1. Be consistent (devoted) to prayer (verse 2)
" Be aware of and in what you pray (watchful)
" Be thankful in everything you pray
2. Pray for open doors for the gospel (verse 3)
3. Pray for clear proclamation of Jesus (verse 4)
4. Behave in a wise manner towards non-Christians - as if your very life was a preaching of the gospel message (verse 5)
5. When you talk - let your words be excited, insightful, probing, and appropriate - communicating the grace of Jesus towards everyone. (verse 6)
Excited: We have the most marvelous news in the universe
Insightful: Learn the truth, apply it to your life, then share it
Probing: Get to know people and their needs to open doors to Jesus
Appropriate: Don’t slam people - respect them and their culture
Grace: Yes sin is judged - but we have a good story - a free gift!
The last part of the chapter contains some personal references from Paul about people he was working with and who the Colossians knew - but they contain some neat gems as well.
7 Tychicus will tell you all the news about me. He is a dear brother, a faithful minister and fellow servant in the Lord. 8 I am sending him to you for the express purpose that you may know about our circumstances and that he may encourage your hearts. 9 He is coming with Onesimus, our faithful and dear brother, who is one of you. They will tell you everything that is happening here.
" Tychicus was with Paul when he went to Jerusalem in Acts 20 and was a trusted emissary of Paul. He delivered the letter to the Ephesians, here at Colosse, and perhaps to Crete.
" There was much information that Tychicus would have shared beyond the letter itself. It was designed to encourage them - despite the strong words in the letter itself - Paul wanted his friends to find encouragement.
" Onesimus is the subject of Paul’s letter to Philemon. Onesimus was a native of Colosse who ran away and got saved under Paul’s ministry. Paul wrote to Onesimus’ master Philemon about Onesimus’ return to him. A slave might expect harsh punishment - but Paul noted that after his conversion, Philemon should welcome him back as a brother.
10 My fellow prisoner Aristarchus sends you his greetings, as does Mark, the cousin of Barnabas. (You have received instructions about him; if he comes to you, welcome him.)
" Aristarcas had been with Paul through some tough times - including being arrested after a riot in Ephesus caused by the metalworkers there who were mad that The Way was bad for their business of making idols to Diana. He may have been a prisoner with Paul in Rome.
" Mark (also known as John Mark) was with Paul and Barnabas in their early journeys but ran into some trouble with Paul (Acts 13) after he left the first journey unexpectedly. The issue was so divisive that Paul and Barnabas ended up splitting up. Here Paul wants to show that Mark is okay - and has grown beyond whatever problem there was. Good thing too - Mark would later write the gospel of Mark.
" Sometimes differences in ministry become so great that its more trouble to stay together - so we go our separate ways. But the Lord has a way of re-connecting down the road and we should always be open to reconciliation and growth on both sides.
" We don’t know what the instructions were.
11 Jesus, who is called Justus, also sends greetings. These are the only Jews among my fellow workers for the kingdom of God, and they have proved a comfort to me.
" Verse 11 could mean that Jesus Justus, Aristarchus and Mark were the only Jews among his group - or it could mean that they were once part of the Circumcision Party (Acts 10:45) - a special group of Jews. Paul had harsh words for this group - perhaps these men came out of the Circumcision party.
" Whatever the case - notice they gave "comfort" to Paul. Paul took a lot of flack from the Jews - so to have men from the "enemy camp" on his side must have been comforting.
12 Epaphras, who is one of you and a servant of Christ Jesus, sends greetings. He is always wrestling in prayer for you, that you may stand firm in all the will of God, mature and fully assured. 13 I vouch for him that he is working hard for you and for those at Laodicea and Hierapolis.
" Epaphras founded the church in Colosse.
" Notice how he prayed: "wrestled" - struggled. If only we’d pray with that same kind of fervency and consistency for others!
" He wanted three things:
1. Stand firm in all the will of God - no waffling on the important stuff
2. Mature - "complete"
3. Fully assured - being completely convinced in your faith
"Firm in your faith, mature in your conviction"
This is exactly what Paul is trying to get across in this book. The problem in Colosse and with us is that we don’t 1-get a firm foundation on the important doctrines of the Christian faith (that’s why attending a Bible study or two every week is really important). Then 2- we don’t mature- we remain babies in our faith. We need to let the Lord stretch us and grow us so that we have "shoe leather" faith - not just theoretical but practical - tested. Its only then that we will be "fully assured" and not subject to the latest "fad faith" out there.
" Laodicea and Hierapolis where nearby Colosse - all in the same valley, so they would be like sister churches.
14 Our dear friend Luke, the doctor, and Demas send greetings. 15 Give my greetings to the brothers at Laodicea, and to Nympha and the church in her house.
" Luke - of course, is the author of Luke and Acts. Demas later abandoned Paul because "loved this world" (2 Timothy 4:10)
" Believers met in homes until the 2nd or 3rd century.
16 After this letter has been read to you, see that it is also read in the church of the Laodiceans and that you in turn read the letter from Laodicea.
17 Tell Archippus: "See to it that you complete the work you have received in the Lord."
" We really don’t know what this "work" was - but its possible that Archippus was pasturing in Epaphras’ place while he was with Paul.
18 I, Paul, write this greeting in my own hand. Remember my chains. Grace be with you.
Conclusions
This heresy lowers the person of Christ and the power of His resurrection to save us - and puts us in the driver seat - keeping others out by our "secret knowledge"
It’s also a way for some to get rich by revealing their "secrets" in expensive seminars and books.
Also it gives a free pass to the flesh - since only spirit matters, not flesh, then we can do anything we like. (Hedonism) And it absolves us of personal responsibility for our actions and our accountability before God for our sins.
And it gives a sense of self-righteousness - and control - pride really, and self worship - as we push ourselves and our ability to deny our bodies instead of realizing our weakness and giving ourselves to God (asceticism).
For more Bible studies and an audio copy of this message, please visit: www.CalvaryChapelNewberg.org.
