OPEN: The true story is told of a banquet where a famous religious leader found himself seated next to an extremely beautiful woman who was wearing a gown with a perilously low neckline.
Instead of becoming angry or embarrassed or pretending to be unaware of her exposure he offered her an apple.
She was a little surprised, but he explained with a smile, "Please do take it, Madame… it was only after Eve ate the apple that she became aware of how little she had on."
APPLY: We’re going to talk this morning about… exposure. Initially, as I prepared for this sermon I considered approaching this passage totally from perspective of guys. The problem of looking lustfully at women is "a guy thing" and this is an ideal passage to deal with it. However, the deeper I looked at the text, the more I realized there was something in this story for the WHOLE family.
I. First… a little background
2 Samuel 11:3 tells us that “David sent someone to find out about (Bathsheba). The man said, ‘Isn’t this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite?’”
Personally, I found it a little hard to believe that David didn’t know who Bathsheba was. After all, she was his neighbor. And the deeper I looked, the harder it became to believe he had no idea who she was. After all, she was:
a. the wife of Uriah the Hittite one of David’s 30 mighty men 2 Samuel 23: 39
b. the daughter of Eliam, who was part of David’s personal bodyguard 2 Samuel 23:34
c. and the granddaughter of Ahithophel, the most respected man in David’s cabinet 2 Samuel 23:34
So, I began to wonder what was going on here. But then I realized that women of that day were much more modest (as a rule)… than those of our day. Not only did their garments cover more of their bodies, but women generally covered their face with a veil when they were out in public. So as David looked over to her rooftop, he was seeing a WHOLE lot more of Bathsheba than he’d ever seen in public.
ILLUS: Many commentators believe that Bathsheba was basically innocent in this matter. For example, one person wrote: “Bathsheba was simply doing what most women of her time and social status did at that time of day. In late afternoon the water in the rooftop rain barrels was at its warmest. Men were usually away from the living quarters at that time of day--or should have been! It was the best time of day for a woman to take a bath.”
That sounds good… but it doesn’t wash.
Think about it. Do you seriously believe that a culture that covered every square inch of their women’s bodies would have “looked the other way” when those same women bathed naked on their roof tops. At the very least - if this woman had been modest she would have erected a curtain to avoid anyone watching from next door.
ILLUS: In our house, my wife’s bathroom is on the 2nd floor. There is only one window in that bathroom and it looks out on a fairly large tree. In order for someone to peek into her bathroom, they would need to be a lumberjack, or have access to a remote control model helicopter, with a little camera underneath, that could hover outside the window. And yet, whenever my wife takes a shower, what do you think she does? That’s right, she closes the curtain. Why does she do that? Because my wife is modest. She has no desire that anybody would even have the slightest chance of looking in her window.
Bathsheba was NOT a modest woman.
NOW do you think Bathsheba knew WHO lived next door? Would you know if the President of the United States lived next door to you? Of course you would.
Do you think she knew that David was at home? Of course she did… everybody in Jerusalem knew he was home.
I submit that Bathsheba knew exactly what she was doing. I submit that she was immodest because she liked the idea that the king would be:
Looking at her
Desiring her
Wanting her
You don’t have to look too far – even in our own culture - to realize that there are women out there who have a desire to tempt men with their womanly beauty.
ILLUS: One wit observed that the reason a female is are called a “Woman” is because men so often say “Whoa, Man!”
God designed the woman to look good to the husband.
He designed the woman so that her husband would go “Whoa!”
And there are women who realize that… and they dress accordingly, but not for husbands they have. They dress that way for husbands they’d LIKE to have… for men that they don’t believe they can obtain any other way.
So, they’ll wear blouses that allow them to expose their Belly buttons.
· Skirts/dresses that girls have to continually tug down so they don’t show too much
· String bikinis at the beach
· Slinky outfits at the dance
And the list could go on
I’m not so sure every girl who dresses this way deliberately go out of their way to make men sin. But I think many of them really believe that they are simply getting some guys’ attention.
Girls in our culture are being taught that it is normal to appeal to a man’s sexual desires
Everything from Britney Spears to Shania Twain, to “Desperate Housewives”, to Soap Operas, to MTV, to those magazine that leer at you from the checkout aisle…
They all preach the same doctrine:
You gotta be sexy to get the man you want
You gotta be immodest to attract their attention
But God says NO!
God says, if you love Me… you’ll not dress like that
1 Timothy 2:9 tells us that God wants “women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety.”
Peter wrote: “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment…. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” 1 Peter 3:3-4
ILLUS: When I was in high school, there was one girl who wasn’t particularly attractive. She didn’t dress provocatively, she was a modest, pleasant girl to be around. And the boys liked being around her. Why do suppose that was? Because she had a pleasant “inner self”, a gentle and quiet spirit… and lots of the boys liked that.
As I was working on this part of the message, it occurred to me that most of our women don’t dress like that. Most of you are very modest and decent in how you present yourself. However, it occurred to me that some women might have a different kind of a problem. You might see some young lady dressed inappropriately and become upset.
You might be tempted to deal with such a girl/ woman in the old Southern Gospel mindset: “That hussie! Dressing like that! She’s going to go he-yell!”
Now, as you may notice, I made fun of that attitude. And I did that for a reason. You don’t want to go there. You don’t want to have that attitude.
James 4:11 warns us “Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it.”
By contrast, Galatians 6:1 tells us how we should deal with women who dress inappropriately “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin (they’re dressed provocatively) you who are spiritual (you noticed the problem and that means you are spiritual enough to see it is wrong) should restore him/her (how???) gently.”
In other words, we are not called to pound (I emphasized this by repeatedly pounding my fist into the palm of my other hand) into the minds of others that they are doing terrible things in their lives… instead we are to “gently” reach out to them. Pointing out not only the dangers of that type of conduct, but also emphasizing that we are telling them this because we care for them. We care what happens to them, and how they might represent Christ.
Galatians 6:2 continues: “But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted….” Guys, it may not be appropriate for you to speak to a young lady about this. You may need to speak to her parents, or her husband to avoid being tempted.
“… Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” In other words, when we speak to our Christian sisters lovingly and caringly, we fulfill what Jesus wants us to do for each other.
II. That was the message about Bathsheba… Now let’s move on to David.
David’s up on the roof top in the early evening. (around dusk). It’s after 6 in the evening, but it’s still light enough for David to see a naked woman bathing on the roof top across the way.
That’s what time of the day it is. What time of year is it?
The Bible tells us it was “in the spring, at the time when kings go off to war…” 2 Samuel 11:1
Well, now – if this was the time when king went off to war… what’s David doing at home?
Some scholars suspect that that he’d stopped going to war because he was getting too old.
Others suggest he’d grown tired of war and just wanted to stay home.
But, I suspect there’s another reason. I suspect that David stayed home because he’d seen this TV show once before. If Bathsheba’s bathing up on her rooftop now… she’s bathed up there before. I suspect that David has seen her in the “all-together” several times now, and that he may have stayed home from the war so he could be looking at her again.
So David is somewhere he ought not to be watching something he ought not to watch and ends up doing something he ought not to do. And THEN he gets caught.
III. You know what David’s problem was?
David suffered from “over-exposure”. He seen too much of what he shouldn’t have been looking at and it damaged his heart. And then it damaged his life.
Jesus said: “… out of the HEART come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what make a man ‘unclean…” Matthew 15:19-20
How does that “stuff” get into our hearts? (those evil thoughts/ murder/ adultery/ sexual immorality). How does it get there?
Well, we put it there. We allow those kinds of tho’ts to lodge in our minds. Those tho’t become our constant daily companions.
Scientists tell us our brains are like computers. Once information is lodged in a corner of our minds, it stays there. If you guys are looking at naked women, that information takes up residence in your brain cells and – as you’re driving down the road, or walking up the street – those images can be called up again and again in your mind. They are your constant companions. AND eventually those companions influence our thinking. Those companions will influence where we look, and what we do.
1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be deceived: “Bad company (bad companions) corrupts good character.”
You cannot expose your mind to that kind of influence regularly without having corrupt your character, without having it corrupt your relationship with God.
That’s what happened to David. He’d spent too much time looking where he shouldn’t have been looking and thinking what he shouldn’t have been thinking.
David was deceived. He had fallen prey to one of the oldest lies known to man. Do you know what that lie is???? “There’s nothing wrong with “just looking”
I can visualize David saying “I’m a king. I’m a conqueror. I’m a leader of men…I can handle it” (he said)… just before it destroyed him.
BUT Jesus tells us –… there is something wrong with “just looking!”
“…I tell you that anyone who LOOKS at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Mt 5:27-28
David’s problem was… he allowed himself to look on a woman lustfully. He committed adultery with her in the heart… and eventually he committed adultery with her in the flesh.
He thought “just looking” wouldn’t hurt him. But it did.
David got caught up in the lie that there was nothing wrong with just looking.
(pause)
IV. Brad has a book he’s shared with the youth called “Every Young Man’s Battle”
Now I personally think that book has been misnamed. It should have been titles “EVERY Man’s Battle.” If you’re not a eunuch, you’ve probably got a problem with the issue of lust. The desire to look where you ought not to be looking.
This book deals with how young men should deal with the temptation of pornography, and I’m going to give you the Reader’s Digest version of that book. If you follow these principles in your life (men) you will start winning that battle against lust.
#1 admit it is a problem. Admit that it is a sin. Admit it’s a struggle.
Don’t ever accept pornography as being a normal part of life.
Don’t ever buy into the lie that you’re “just looking!”
And don’t EVER accept the idea that – hey I can’t whip it… so I may as well just give in.” Some men do, you know. But, the more ground you give up in this battle, the harder it is to hang on to your spirituality, to your relationship to God… IT IS A BATTLE and quitters never win battles.
#2 create walls between yourself and the temptation. Make a commitment to shut yourself off from the temptation. Job said “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl.” (Job 31:1)
Now why would Job make a covenant like that? Because he realized there was the temptation to look on a woman lustfully. So, he created a wall between himself and the temptation.
ILLUS: Whenever I go into a restaurant or walk in the mall, there are attractive women there, and I have to make a covenant with my eyes not to look upon them lust after them. I turn my eyes elsewhere, I turn my head. Now, you have to be careful you don’t run into tables and chairs in the process… but it is possible to simply divert your attention from the source of temptation.
ILLUS: Years ago, I heard a joke that sums up this point perfectly.
A man comes into a Doctor and says “I broke my arm in two places.” To which the Doctor replies: “Well, stay out of them places.”
ILLUS: When I was a boy, there was a book store where I could go and look through the comics. However, right next to the comics, they had porn magazines in one of the sections. Granted all you could see was the covers… but that was enough. I caught myself doing one of these numbers (pretend to be reading the comic while furtively glancing over at the porn). That frustrated me and I finally made the commitment that I had to stay out of that place.
Create a wall between yourself and the temptation.
Know where the temptation is… and STAY OUT OF THEM PLACES
If you have literature in your home that tempts you – dispose of it/ trash it/ burn it.
If you have TV programs that cause you stumble… don’t watch them. Refuse to have Showtime, and HBO and Starz on your cable channels. You don’t need those channels and all you end up doing is subsidizing pornography by signing up. You might say “well, I never look at the nasty shows…” But let’s get serious. I’m a guy. I know if I had those programs on my TV. I’d find a way to watch them. Stay out of them places.
If you have a problem with Internet pornography, get the computer into an area where you’re not alone as you surf the net.
Lastly – if these steps can’t help you gain control of the temptation, get someone you can be accountable to. Someone to whom you have to answer.
ILLUS: One man once observed that “Nothing makes it easier to resist temptation than a proper bringing up, a sound set of values… and witnesses.
If you have a problem with on-line pornography… talk to Brad or I and we’ll introduce you to a way to find an accountability partner
CLOSE: Temptation to lust is every man’s battle.
And sometimes, we fail. We stumble and fall down. It can happen to preachers, Elders, Sunday School teachers. Even when they take the most elaborate steps to avoid the sin… they can fail.
What do you do then?
ILLUS: The story is told that Andrew Jackson’s boyhood friends just couldn’t understand how he became a famous general and the President of the United States. They knew of other men who had greater talent but who never succeeded.
One of Jackson’s friends said, "Why, Jim Brown, who lived right down the pike from Jackson, was not only smarter but he could throw Andy 3 times out of four in a wrestling match. But look where Andy is now."
Another friend responded, "How did there happen to be a fourth time? Didn’t they usually say ’three times and out?’"
"Sure, they were supposed to, but not Andy. He would never admit he was beat - he would never stay ’throwed.’ Jim Brown would get tired, and on the fourth try, Andrew Jackson would throw him and be the winner."
"The thing that counts is not how many times you are ’throwed,’ but whether you are willing to stay ’throwed.’"
God knows that… and so He gives us a way to get back up… “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:8-9
SERMONS IN THIS SERIES (A Man After God’s Own Heart)
Measuring Up - 1 Samuel 16:1-16:13
Be Prepared/ Scout Sunday - 1 Samuel 17:1-17:53
A Friend After Your Own Heart - 1 Samuel 18:1-18:5
A Heart To Honor Authority - 1 Samuel 24:1-24:22
An Obedient Heart - 2 Samuel 6:1-6:15
A Heart To Worship - 2 Samuel 6:12-6:23
The Heart Of A Shepherd - Psalms 23:1-23:6
The Over-exposed Heart - 2 Samuel 11:1-11:5
The Undeserving Heart - Psalms 51:1-51:1
The Weakened Heart - 2 Samuel 3:17-3:39
The Heart Of A Father - 2 Samuel 13:1-13:39
A Heart to Build - 2 Samuel 7:1-7:17
The Dead Dog Syndrome - 2 Samuel 16:5-16:14
