Intro: Moral relativism is becoming the norm. A group of college students were asked their opinions on the media, specifically the R-rated kinds of situations being show on TV and the movies. When asked why sex and violence were so prevalent, one student answered, “Because it’s no big deal.”
It’s no big deal anymore to have an extramarital fling. It’s no big deal to wait until you are married to have sex. Unfortunately this is the message that many people have towards faithfulness in marriage. And unfortunately it is costing so many people a lot of pain and heartache.
(Word on the street video). The question is asked, “Why do you think married people end up having affairs?”
Transition: We continue our look at the book of Proverbs. In chapters 5-7 the wisdom writer(s) talk about adultery. Just to be sure we are all on the same page adultery is the word used when someone who is married has sexual relations with someone other than their spouse. Adultery is spoken of here as an example of someone who is being “unwise” and “foolish.”
Proverbs gives us a practical look at the dangers of adultery and what can happen to an individual and family if it occurs. Read Proverbs 6:20-35
ILLUSTRATION: When a husband and wife were shopping at a mall, a shapely young woman in a short, form-fitting dress strolled by. His eyes followed her. Without looking up from the item she was examining, his wife asked, “Was it worth the trouble you are in?”
ILLUSTRATION: Many people feel that the grass is always greener on the other side. Well, try telling that to the guy who discovered poison ivey!
There is always a cost to living outside of God’s boundries. This passage in Proverbs teaches us that it is easier to make restitution for something you stole than make amends for adultery. There is a cost to adultery. For the Bible teaches us that sex is good, wholesome and healthy. But the Bible teaches there are some conditions to it—as long as it remains in a marriage relationship between a man and a woman committed to each other. When it is taken outside it intended use…there are risks. There’s the physical danger to it of disease. ILLUSTRATION: There was a teenage boy and his grandfather who went fishing one day. While fishing, the old man starts talking about how times have changed. The young fellow picks up on this and starts talking about problems and sexually transmitted diseases going around. The teen says, “Grandpa, they didn’t have a whole lot of problems with all these diseases when you were young did they?” Grandpa replies, “Nope.” The teen says, “Well, what did you guys use for safe sex?” Grandpa replies, “wedding ring.”
Sex is more than just the physical. There is an emotional and spiritual side to it too. Geneses 2:24 says, for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. That being united and becoming one flesh was intended to be with one partner—your spouse. When an affair takes place that covenant is broken…trust is broken. You are doing with someone else what God intended strictly for your spouse. It is not to be thrown around.
Preachers and parents are real good about telling parishioners or children what to do and what not to do. But do we do a good job explaining why? Here what the word of the Lord says regarding any kind of sexual immorality:
1Cor 6:13-18
Ephesians 5:3
1Thess. 4:3-8
If those aren’t reasons enough to do all we can to affair proof our marriages I don’t know what is. Let me encourage you to do remember a few things:
1). Stay away from tempting situations.
Now, I know we cannot steer clear from all temptations but you and I both know there are all kinds of opportunities to get “into trouble” with our purity if we are not careful.
Look at what Proverbs 5:8, Proverbs 7:6-23
ILLUSTRATION: An old American Indian tale recounts the story of a chief who was telling a gathering of young braves about the struggle within. “It is like two dogs fighting inside of us,” the chief told them. “There is one good dog who wants to do the right and the other dog wants to do the wrong. Sometimes the good dog seems stronger and is winning the fight. But sometimes the bad dog is stronger and wrong is winning the fight.” “Who is going to win in the end?” a young brave asks. The chief answered “The one you feed.”
The more you give in to temptation the more you are feeding the drive to be reckless sexually.
2). Be intoxicated by your spouses love.
Proverbs 5:15-20
Married people don’t just wake up one day and say, “I like to have an affair.” Mostly there are problems going on within the relationship. It’s important that you are making time for one another, you are kindling the romance at home. Have open lines of communication about all the areas of your marriage: physical, spiritual and emotional. (Wow, I’m starting to sound like Dr. Phil.)
Cultivate that romance. Yes, even when his stomach is a few inches larger than two years ago. Yes, when she hasn’t lost the weight she gained after the kids were born.
3). Always be aware that our ways are in full view of the Lord.
Proverbs 5:21
Our lives are an open book for the Lord to see…even when no one else sees.
QUOTE: D.L. Moody said, “Character is what you are in the dark.”
TRANSITION: There was once a little boy who excitedly told his mom that he had just measured himself and he was six feet tall. Mom as a little skeptical of course so she asked him to measure himself again while she watched. She discovered the problem when the boy took out not a 12-inch, but a 6 inch ruler. He had calculated well: he was six ruler heights tall-he just had the wrong ruler, the wrong standard.”
Everyone needs to decide with which measuring standard are you going to go by in your marriage and relationships? Any standard less than the Lord will ALWAYS come up short.
To those of you who are married will you commit yourself to affair proofing your marriage?
To the single: Will you begin preparing NOW to affair proofing your future marriage? Begin preparing by maintaining your own purity, by staying away from tempting situations, etc.
You may be here today and say, you know what, I’ve blown it. I’ve missed up in this area of my life. Is there hope for me?
Yes, there is. There’s a story in the Old Testament about King David. He was a man after God’s own heart. But there came a day when he gave into temptation and had an affair with Bathsheba. The conceived a child from this affair. David ended up having Bathsheba’s husband killed to try and cover up this sin. Well, David’s sin was finally found out. David repented from his sin. His prayer is found in Psalm 51.
I want this prayer to be yours today. IF you confess to the Lord he is faithful and just to forgive you. You must first recognize it is sin. By praying this prayer it probably won’t remove whatever consequences there are but it’s the most important thing you can do.
Let’s pray together as we close.
