On February 19, 1979, a small plane crashed into Ontario Peak in the San Gabriel Mountains, and a ten-hour story of death, courage, and survival began. The passengers of that Cessna 172 included the pilot, a young woman, an attorney, and his eleven-year-old son. The pilot and the attorney were killed in the crash. The boy said he knew his father was dead when he tried to rouse him and “he wouldn’t wake up.” The boy and the young woman huddled in the snow near the plane for seven hours, hoping to be rescued. Finally they decided they must attempt the treacherous descent of the mountain or freeze to death. Shortly after they began, the woman fell 350 feet to her death. The boy, all 75 pounds of him, was lost and all alone on a mountain in the freezing cold. Bloody and bruised, broken bones in both hands, his father lying dead a few feet away—what was he to do? He never gave up. He slid most of the way down the mountain on the seat of his pants, clutching a stick in his fractured hands. Whenever he began to slide too fast, he wedged the stick in the snow as a brake. About 5 p.m. he was found near a village at the foot of the mountain and rushed to a hospital. Wet, bloody, and exhausted, he was still very much alive.
Before his release from the hospital there was a news conference. The boy encountered a barrage of questions about his ordeal. How did he find the courage to go on? Didn’t he feel like quitting? He answered simply, “I’m alive today because my dad taught me never to give up.” [Copied from Discipleship Journal. Copyright © 2000 by The Navigators. Used by permission of NavPress. All rights reserved.” John Carpenter]
What is it you want to leave your children when you are gone? What kind of a mark do you want to leave for your children that will impact them? That’s what I want to talk about tonight: how you as a parent can leave a lasting impression on your children.
I don’t have to tell you that raising children is a challenge. Now, I am not a parent but I am a child and I know how difficult I made it for my parents to parent me. I am in no way saying that I am an expert in parenting. Pastor Tony Evans told the story about the difficulties of parenting. He said there was a preacher whose favorite sermon was, “The Ten Commandments for Parenting.” But that was before he got married. Then he married and had his first child. The preachers changed his message to, “The Ten Hints for Parents.” Then he had his second child. Now he preached on the “Ten Suggestions for Parents.” Then he had his third child—and stopped preaching! It’s a different story when you have to do it yourself.
So I come to you tonight not as an expert in parenting but as a messenger of the expert in parenting. I want to share with you though God’s word how you can make a significant difference in your home.
Let’s read Ephesians 6:4: “Fathers, do not exasperate your children, instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” In Colossians 3:21 Paul exhorts fathers to “do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.”
In both of these verses we do not see any mention of mothers. So, why are they left out? It’s important to see that God views the father as the representative head of the home. He is the one throughout Biblical history whom God would speak to and his job was to transfer God’s teaching to his wife and children. Remember, God is a God of order and not chaos. He brings order to the home by giving the father the responsibility to be head of the home and the wife to respond to that role by helping him carry out God’s agenda in the home. That’s why our adversary, the Devil, wants to get rid of dads in the home. Because when dad is gone that role isn’t being fulfilled and puts an extra burden on mom. It is important to understand as well that in ancient Roman culture, women did not have a lot of rights.
“They were a pretty subjugated group. When a baby was born, the baby would be brought to the father and placed in front of him in the basket or on the cloth or whatever. The father would look at his son or daughter. Thumbs up meant, “I’ll keep him.” Thumbs down mean, “Put the baby out to die.” A father could, with permission of Roman law, reject a daughter, for instance, if he wanted his firstborn to be a son. That rejected baby would be put in a public place and either left to die or maybe taken and raised in a brothel. The father had the power of life and death. But God’s word threw out all that mess. God’s word says to fathers, “You can’t run away or deny your responsibility. You are God’s representative in your home. God says to parents, and particularly to fathers as the representatives, “You have the power of life and death in your hands.” Tony Evans What a Way To Live. P. 240
With that being said the first thing you can do to bring significance to your children is to encourage them. “Do not exasperate or frustrate your children.” Are kids hear enough negative stuff out in the world. The home should be a safe place for them to feel accepted and encouraged. How do you encourage your children? Well first of all you encourage your children by not playing favorites.
ILLUSTRATION: I remember growing up that my brothers and I would always fight over who would deserve the prestigious title of “Cutest Floyd boy.” (We still have this argument today.) We would even go to my mom while the other brothers weren’t around and ask her who she thought was the cutest Floyd boy or who she loved the most. Time after time her response would always be, “I think you are all cute and I love you all the same.” Your kids need to know that you love them just as much as their other siblings.
Another way to encourage your kids is to make them a high priority. If your career is much more important than your children then you have it backwards. If you promise to be at your child’s baseball game make every effort to be there.
ILLUSTRATION: Several years ago, Ken Griffey, Jr. chose not to attend "The Players Choice Awards" to receive the "Player of the Decade" award. Junior beat out three time MVP winner Barry Bonds and four time Cy Young Award winner, Greg Maddux for the honor. The award is a big deal. He joins the ranks of baseball greats Wagner, Cobb, Ruth, Foxx, Williams, Mantle, Mays, Rose, and Schmidt. Why didn’t he go? Trey, his 5-year-old son had a baseball game that night--his first, and Junior didn’t want to miss it. Sermoncentral.com How are you showing that your kids are a priority in your life?
A third way you can encourage your kids is by blessing them. A blessing is a very biblical concept. A blessing involved a father transferring the family inheritance to his son and telling him of the future God had for him. To be blessed meant the father recognized a child’s significance. The blessing told the child that he was the future, and his father was counting on him. I realize that children aren’t perfect and sometimes you just have to speak plainly to them about their behavior sometimes. But let’s not forget that there needs to blessing from you. Have they heard you blessing them? Have you placed your hands on them and as an act of prayer and encouragment said, “you are important to this family and to God. I bless you as your parent and am praying that you make a great difference in this world for God!”
A second way you can do to bring significance to your children is to nurture them. The scriptures say to “bring them up.” That is what nurturing is—to nourish your child. How do you nourish your child? We nourish them intellectually. We make sure they go to school. We make sure their minds are active. We also nourish them socially. We want them to interact with other kids. We are careful who they hang out with. We make sure they are responsible citizens in this free society. We also nourish them physically. We make sure they have food, clothes, a roof over their head. Nourishing them physically means we protect them as much as we can from harmful influences in the world. I hope you care as a parent what your children are watching. I hope you care about what they are doing on the internet. I hope you care about things they are listening to. We also nourish our children spiritually. You teach them right from wrong. You teach them God’s purposes in the world. I’ll share more about this in a minute.
A third way you can bring significance to your children is to discipline them. You know we live in a society where roles have been reversed! Parents are obeying their children but the children aren’t obeying the parents. There are a lot of children running around the world today who do not have discipline in their lives. ILLUSTRATION: Many of our children are like the little boy who was given an orange by a man. The boy’s mother asked, “What do you say to the nice man?” The little boy thought and handed the orange back and said, “Peel it.”
Let me share just a couple of things about discipline. Hebrews 12:6 “the Lord disciplines those he loves, and punishes everyone he accepts as a son.” Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline) then you are ilegitmate children and not true sons.” Then Proverbs 13:24 says, “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.” Discipline is appropriate. Our heavenly father disciplines us. He expects us to discipline our children. Not to discipline our children means we don’t love them. If you are a single mother and you are having a hard time disciplining your son give me a call. I can get a hold of some men in our church who can help you with that.
A final way you can bring significance to your home is to instruct your children. “instruction in the Lord.” Are you making sure that they are being taught the word of God at home? I believe the primary place our children need to be instructed about spiritual things is in the home. God never commanded the school to teach your children God’s word. You are. You might be thinking tonight, “but how do I keep my kids interested” or “Is it too late for me to start doing that in my home?” The answer is no. Let me give you these suggestions to keep Biblical instruction going in your home:
· God’s word must first be in your heart.
· Make ministry in the home a higher priority than ministry outside the home.
· Spend time daily teaching your children about God. Be creative with this. Take advantage of every opportunity.
· Be enthusiastic about church. If you are not excited about church and you talk about what a drag it is, how are your children going to react?
· Practice devotional living. Don’t just talk about prayer do it. When you get a call through our prayer chain asking you to pray about something, gather your family right there to pray.
People will object, well, what if I have done all of those things and my child isn’t walking with the Lord? We need to remember that there is a risk that our children will not respond to the Lord. Continue to be there for them and pray for them. Keep living out your life.
Others will say, what if my kids are grown and I never did these things to them? Do not lose hope. Remember, if God was able to bring you to Himself, he will be able to do that with your children. Your ministry to them should be one of prayer.
I want to close this message tonight with the same question I asked in the beginning: If you were to die today, what legacy would you leave them?
When you are on your death bed you will not be concerned with how more time you should have spent at the office, or out with the “boys”. So many people realize at that fateful moment that they should have spent more time making an impact on their children.
