Intro: Have you ever said anything you later regretted? I wished I had 10 bucks for every time I said something that I shouldn’t have in my life. As we think about saything the wrong things let me share with you a couple of things NOT to say to a police officer. 1). Sorry, officer, I didn’t realize my radar director wasn’t plugged in! 2). Hey, you must’ve been doing about 125 MPH to keep us with me. Good job! 3). You’re not gonna check the trunk are you? 4). Gee officer! That’s terrific. The officer who stopped me 2 miles back gave me a warning, too! Here are some things you should never say once without thinking twice: 1). It’s no trouble at all. 2). I love dogs. 3). We have plenty of room. 4).Call me any time. 5). Is there anything I can do? 6). My husband is a doctor. 7). I’ll try anything once. 8). Of course, bring the kids. 9). Why don’t you stay for dinner. 10). If worse comes to worst you can use mine!
What comes out of our mouths can get us into trouble. We’ve all been there. We’ve said things we shouldn’t have. Let’s face it, we can all learn to be better at watching what comes out of our mouths. James is talking about the power of the tongue in chapter 3. Read 3:1-12.
Here is the truth about the tongue that James shares with us:
** Although small, the tongue packs a huge punch!
Illustration: My brother Lesly is 5’8. In high school he weighed about 130 pounds with rocks in his pocket. To a lot of people he was small in stature but man when he played football he could put a hurtin on you. He didn’t care how big the opponents were. He would run over linebackers. His size wasn’t intimidating but his vicious hits were.
Likewise, the tongue, although a small part of the body hurts others –destroys anything in its path. That’s what a fire does. The greatest of fires can be started by just a small spark. John Wycliffe said—“The tongue breaks the bone even though the tongue has no bone. Many of you are still coping and getting over the destructive words that you heard come out of the mouths of those you love. Words do cut like a knife. They have the power to bring life or death. Not only do our words hurt others sometimes but they also hurt us.
It hurts us. That’s why James says it (tongue) “corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. It corrupts us. We say hurtful, meaningless things to one another. It can destroy all it comes in contact with including the person who has the out of control tongue. 1Peter 3:10 says, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech.” The reason many people are not enjoying life today is because of the results of what has come out of their mouths.
**James also teaches us in this passage that the tongue can get out of hand. James says we have done a great job of taming Tigers, Lions, lizards, parrots, and dolphins but no man has tamed the tongue. He calls it a restless evil, full of deadly poison. The truth about poison is that even small amounts can be deadly.
James gives an illustration of how our tongues are not completely tamed. Verses 9-10: “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers this should not be.”
Our tongue reveals how inconsistent we can be. Just think about some of the things that come out of our mouths. “I love you to someone we truly love. Then a day later we say I can’t stand being around you. We recite John 3:16 which says, “For God so loved the world” and yet we say to one of our friends after church, “did you see who was in church today? What were they doing there?
You see our tongue is a thermometer. It shows our spiritual temperature. If our words are bad it reveals the condition of our spiritual state. The tongue is also a thermostat. It regulates. We need to keep a close eye on the thermostat. If our tongues are out of control our relationship with God is out of control. The Bible teaches us that were words are many sin is not absent.
We need to embrace a new or renewed perspective about what we say. We need to keep it under control. How can we get into the habit of doing that? I would like to share from God’s word some truths that can help us to say the right things and use our tongues to glorify God, and build up others.
First of all, we need to get into the habit of doing more listening than talking. James 1:19 exhorts us to be quick to listen and slow to speak. I don’t know about you guys but I have suffered from “foot in the mouth disease.” This is where I talk long enough or at the wrong moment where I say something I shouldn’t have said. All it takes is less than 1% of our word inventory to ruin the effect on the other 99%of what we say. We need to learn how to be better listeners.
Read ILLUSTRATION called “Pay Attention” from Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul II. Page 279.
Secondly, we need to be determined to always speak the truth. Turn with me to Ephesians 4:25-29. “Therefore, each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.” He is talking to believers here. It’s important to understand that when we lie to others we are lying to ourselves as well because we are part of the body. Let’s take off the masks of falsehood and be who God has called us to be and do what he has called us to do—by removing the masks of falsehood. We need to speak truthfully to others and we need to speak truthfully about others! I have heard it said, “A lie is a coward’s way of getting out of trouble.” I’ve also heard it said “the truth is clear as a bell but not always tolled.” Let’s speak the truth.
Finally, we need to test what we say. Paul gives us a good test in Ephesians 4:29: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. We need to ask ourselves, “It what I am saying helping others?” “Is what I am saying building others up?” If they don’t pass the test you don’t say it! We need to understand that our words can bring healing to people. Read with me Proverbs 12:18 “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 16:24 says, “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”
ILLUSTRATION: In his book The Youth Builder, Jim Burns talks about the importance of building up young people with affirmation and trust. What he says about criticism applies to every age group: For every critical comment we receive, it takes nine affirming comments to even out the negative effect in our life. Most young people receive more critical comments a day than encouraging ones. You can have a very positive, life transforming effect when you develop a ministry of affirmation.
ILLUSTRATION:
Closing: James concludes his thought on the inconsistency of the tongue by asking and answering an important question. “Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? Can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can salt spring produce fresh water.
What is flowing out of your mouth? Have your words been as refreshing as a cool running spring or bitter as salt water? Did you know that the average person spends one-fifth of his or her life talking? That’s what the statistics say. If all of our words were put into print, the result would be this: a single day’s words would fill a 50-page book, while in a year’s time the average person’s words would fill 132 books of 200 pages each! Among all those words there are bound to be some spoken in anger, carelessness, or haste. Today in the Word, June 15, 1992.
ILLUSTRATION: When I was about 11 years old my brother and I were outside riding our bikes. I don’t remember what he did to me but whatever it was I responded with a very dirty word to him. I had no idea my mom was standing in listening distance. I heard her threaten before but this time she meant it--she was going to wash my mouth out with soap. She did it. I learned a very valuable lesson: never cuss in front of mom! Although that’s what I needed to teach me at the time, I still needed something else. I needed my heart washed. You know my heart was still cold. Many of us here tonight need a washing of the heart. When that happens what comes out of our mouths will be clean.
