Alba 10-5-2025
LOVE IS PATIENT
I Corinthians 13:4
Don't you wish the world was a perfect place? I mean in a perfect world…
• Chocolate would have no calories.
• Procrastination would be honored as a virtue.
• Teenagers would rather clean their rooms than be on their phones.
• Politicians would pay us taxes.
• Children on long road trips would say, "Isn't riding in the car fun?" and then they'd go to sleep.
• Candy would be considered a vegetable.
• No one would cut you off in traffic.
• Your team would always win.
• Snow would fall on the ground and not the roads.
• You’d never loose your keys, wallet, checkbook or debit card…
But unfortunately, we do not live in a perfect world. That's why every day you and I are going to face things that are going to test our patience. Every day our patience is put to the test in some way. Who here enjoys waiting? Did you know they say you will spend 6 months of your life sitting at red lights waiting for them to turn green? How patient are you?
Someone said you can learn a lot about people by watching how they wait for an elevator. Some people are swayers; they kind of sway back and forth. Some are pacers and shufflers. Others are pushers, they keep pushing the button. Someone else said, “I had my patience tested yesterday. It came back negative.” Too often our prayer is, “Dear God, give me patience. And give it to me quick!”
First Corinthians chapter thirteen begins by telling us that nothing is more important than love. It says what we say, what we know, what we give, what we sacrifice, what we accomplish, and even our faith, does not matter without love. Without love it gains us nothing. Then in verse four, the first thing that Paul tells the church at Corinth about love is: “Love is patient.” That raises the question, what is patience? Do we really understand what it is?
Lets look at the word itself. The Greek word “patient” used here is a compound word. The first part of the word is makro, meaning long or slow. The second part of the word is thumos or thymia, meaning heat, energy, anger, or wrath. Patience literally means “to have a high boiling point,” or “to take a long time to boil”. We talk about somebody having a short fuse; this means they have a long fuse. Actually, the King James Version comes the closest to the literal translation with the term “suffereth long” or “long-suffering.”
We don't like to suffer, but the love this is talking about is willing to suffer for the object of its love. It is willing to endure that which it very much does not want to experience. But it does so, because of love.
But we may raise our hands and ask, “How long do we have to suffer?” This says, “I can't tell you that. It may be a year. It may be 10 years. It may be only tomorrow. But love “suffers long.” Well, we like deadlines. And we would like to know just exactly how long we are going to have to suffer. This doesn't tell us. It simply says that patient love suffers long. It basically means that love is something that endures a long time, that doesn't easily give up, but keeps on persisting in spite of everything. That is love, that is patience.
When one is patient, he or she is able to remain calm and not become annoyed when waiting for a long time, or when dealing with problems or difficult people. It means doing things in a careful way over a long period of time without hurrying. It means bearing pains and trials calmly without complaint. It is a big order, but that is what it means.
So when it comes to love being patient, and realizing that we should be patient and long-suffering with others, the question becomes not so much what it is, but how do we do it? Well first of all, you do not have to pray for patience. You are just asking for trouble if you do. Patience and longsuffering are only needed when you are in a difficult situation. But if you live long enough, patience will be one of your great lessons. And be careful, because when you are in a hurry, impatience can lead to saying and doing things that are regretted, things that can harm relationships. Being constantly hurried and impatient is not helpful for one’s spiritual health.
I Thessalonians 5:14 tells us to be patient “with everyone”. I am sure some of you are thinking, “That is impossible. I can’t do it. How can I be patient with everybody?” To be patient with everyone does seem impossible. That poem says: “To dwell above with those we love, oh that will be glory. To dwell below with those we know, now that's a different story.”
Do you find that it is easier to be patient with complete strangers? After all, how much long suffering do you really need if it’s just for five or ten minutes? But often it is a lot harder to be a model of patience with those with whom we live. How can we be patient with everyone? How do we manage that?
Often the reason we are impatient with others is because we misunderstand them. Patience requires us to see others as we want to be seen ourselves. People are not machines from which we can expect to get a perfect product. In the heat of everyday interactions, we can forget that each of us has different emotions, ideas, desires and perceptions and that each of us has the ability to make choices.
Not everyone is going to make the choices we would make, or think the way we think. We often have expectations of what’s going to happen, and when those expectations don’t match reality that’s when things go badly. When we have unrealistic expectations for ourselves and for others, we are setting ourselves up for frustration, impatience and anger.
For example, you buy a Christmas present for a child and it says, “Easy to assemble”, or “Some assembly required.” But then after 20 hours of pulling out your hair it is finally assembled and you have emptied your patience tank. But if the package had said, “This toy is going to take 20 hours of your blood, sweat and tears,” you would feel very different afterward, because you would have expected that.
Well the same thing is true with relationships. If our expectation is that our relationships will always run smoothly, and that no one is ever going to hurt us, or act selfishly, then we are setting ourselves up for disaster. If we lower our expectations a bit, then it will be easier to have a patient love. True love is patient. And that love will show up as patience with a spouse, with family, with friends, and those with whom we come into contact.
Not one of us is perfect, and if that is what we are expecting, then we are going to be sorely disappointed. We need to be both patient with ourselves and with others, and we need to keep our expectations under control. I realize that we all have bad days. I know that each one of us has our moments.
Paul tells us in Ephesians 4:1-3 “I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”
In the Living Bible verse two says, “Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults, because of your love.” And when you dig into the other things that love is in First Corinthians 13, if you think about it, without patience, being kind, not taking into account a wrong suffered, just to name a few, is all but impossible without patience.
The real answer to how to be patient is that God is able and willing to give us patience for people and life situations. It comes to us through the gift of the Holy Spirit. Patience is another of the fruit of the Spirit. Too often we quench the Spirit in this area. I admit that is true in my life. But I believe that God can bring patience to all areas of our life. It can change our attitudes when things don’t quite go our way. When it feels like everything in the world seems to be going against us, God is able to help us be patient.
We have looked at two questions about this verse that says “love is patient”. The first question was “What is patience?”. And the second was “How do we show patience?”. Now maybe it is wise to ask the question: “Why should we be patient?” The answer to that is found in the example of God Himself. God is love, and God is patient.
Patience is such a big part of true love. And God is patient with us! Have you ever wondered, “Why do you put up with us, God? Why don't you snap your fingers, get rid of us and start all over again?”
Have you ever wondered why God just doesn't do that? It sometimes seems to be the most logical thing for God to do. Why doesn't He? The answer is because God's love is longsuffering. And that is proven by the fact that after Jesus came into this world and gave Himself as a sacrifice for our sins on that cross, God is still waiting for people to accept His offer of love and mercy. God is allowing unbelievers as much time as He can for them to repent and choose to come to Christ. But there is coming a day when the door will be shut. As patient as God is, the eternal clock is counting down; and when the eternal moment comes about, time will be up. Jesus will come again to receive His own.
Peter speaks about that promise in I Peter 3:1-9. In verses three through eight, Peter says unbelievers were scoffing at the promise of Christ’s return and claiming that God is slow in keeping that promise. They said things were going on as they had since the beginning of creation. But then Peter assures us in verse nine that, “The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.”
The Contemporary English Version has verse nine this way: “The Lord isn't slow about keeping his promises, as some people think he is. In fact, God is patient, because he wants everyone to turn from sin and no one to be lost.” So the love of God keeps on giving. Loving us when we are unlovable. Loving us when we are rebellious.
His love keeps on giving because it is longsuffering. We should not take the patience of God for granted. If we remember how patient God has been and is with us, and that should help us to be patient with others. We will never have to be more patient than God has already been with us.
And there is another reason why we should be patient. Patience is always rewarded. Yes, we might go through some difficult or even painful times. There is even an entire book in the Bible devoted to the subject of patience. The book of Job. If we remember Job, how can we say anything negative or talk about how much we suffer in this world? The book tells of Job’s perseverance, endurance and patience. And then it tells of the blessings the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.
And what about Abraham and Sarah? God had promised he would be the father of nations. But they were childless. And they began to doubt. That caused them to do something that has continued to bring trouble, fighting and wars into the world. But their doubt did not change God's promise. Many years went by before Isaac was born. And in spite of the fact that Abraham and Sarah were trying to get ahead of God's plan, Hebrews 6:15 says concerning Abraham, “And so, after he had patiently endured, he obtained the promise.”
There are other Bible characters who were experts in patience. There was Joseph who endured years in prison. There was Moses who endured the complaints of the people. There was the apostle Paul who endured his thorn in the flesh. They all exhibited patience. None of these people were perfect. But God always perfectly kept His promises. That is reason enough for us to be patient.
So how would you rank your patience? One fellow said that on a scale of 1 to 16, the best he could say is “I’m patient with 1 out of every 16 people.” And the number 1 person I’m patient with is... myself!
We know that if we want healthy, growing, good relationships, the first thing we need is love with patience. Patience is the anchor of love. Patience is not just about waiting, but is an active expression of love that builds relationships and reflects Christ’s character in our lives. Patience is a reflection of Christ’s love and grace toward us.
How many times have you ever said? “I’m glad I waited.” How many times have you ever said “I wish I waited longer?” Our prayer should be, “Lord, when issues come at me, help me to be more patient.” God is all-powerful and has glorious might. And that power is able to work in us so that we can be loving and patient.
CLOSE:
One of the very best gifts we can give others is the gift of patience. Former president Jimmy Carter admitted to having “unreasonable” standards about punctuality. If Rosalyn was even a few minutes late there would be a furious exchange, and they would arrive at church or a friend’s house still angry with each other. For 36 years of their marriage, it had been the most persistent cause of dissension between them.
One morning, Jimmy realized it was his wife’s birthday and he did not have a gift for her. Then a brilliant idea hit him. He wrote her this note: “Happy Birthday. As a proof of my love, I will never again make an unpleasant comment about tardiness.” The note was delivered with a kiss.
That happened in 1982, and it is said that Jimmy kept his promise. Both of them agreed that it was the best birthday present he had ever given her. When we are patient with each other, we acknowledge that relationships are more important than schedules or anything else.
“Love is Patient.” The Lord is telling us that if we are going to have viable and growing relationships, the first thing
we need is patience. Divine power can help us to have a love that is patient. On our own, we may not be able, but with God’s help we can! Philippians 4:13 reminds us that through Christ we can do all things. And remember: What is the ultimate reward of patience? The promises of God!
