If you didn’t bring a Bible with you, you’ll need one today. And we’ve provided you with one if you didn’t bring it. Turn with me to Luke 14:25-35 or page 1111 in the black books in front of you, there in your pews. If I asked you who Mary Lucy Phalen is, would you immediately recognize that name? She’s been called the most famous mother-in-law in Texas. And she’s the mother-in-law of our governor, Greg Abbott. She’s well-known for her campaign commercials both in English and Spanish on behalf of her son-in-law. Most people love families.
So it’s surprising when we hear Jesus calling on His followers to hate their family. After all, churches like ours do much to strengthen the family. Indeed, the political world sees us as a “pro-family.” So it’s surprising to see Jesus call on His followers to hate our families.
Today, we’re finishing in a short series looking where we’ve examined some of Jesus’ most curious sayings in the Gospel of Luke. And we’ve saved the best for last.
Among the most baffling of all of Jesus’ teachings, is His instruction to hate your family. After all, I thought “church people” were nice and loved their families. Today, we’ll encounter another of Jesus’ “hard sayings.”
Now great crowds accompanied him, and he turned and said to them, 26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. 27 Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple. 28 For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? 29 Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, 30 saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’ 31 Or what king, going out to encounter another king in war, will not sit down first and deliberate whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? 32 And if not, while the other is yet a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace. 33 So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple.
34 “Salt is good, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? 35 It is of no use either for the soil or for the manure pile. It is thrown away. He who has ears to hear, let him hear.” (Luke 14:25-35)
There is no such thing as an instant disciple. Look at the word for a minute in your mind, to be a disciple it takes discipline. A Russian comedian, Yakov Smirnoff talks about when he first moved to America, he was amazed at the variety of instant products he could buy in the store. There’s powdered milk: just add water and you have milk. There’s powdered orange juice: just add water and you have orange juice. Then he saw Baby Powder and thought, “What a great country! If you want a baby, just add water!” Some people think that’s how discipleship works. You take a person, add a little baptism water, and “poof” you have a fully-devoted follower of Jesus–a real disciple. But it takes more than water to make a disciple.
Sermon Preview
Today, I want you to see Jesus offers four warnings and two parables.
Hate Your Family
Double Standard
Define the Relationship
And along the way, I want you to meet Jesus the Algebra Teacher ?.
1. Hate Your Family
“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:26)
Jesus essentially offers the same teaching/warning in three ways: “Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:27) “So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:33).
Jesus really wants to understand what it means to follow Him.
Let’s focus on the importance of family in Jesus’ day You never disgraced your family. You never moved away from your family. You never married somebody your family didn’t want.
1.1 Hate
Does Jesus really want you to hate your family? After all, Jesus is the One who calls on us to even love our enemies. In Ephesians 5 the Bible calls on husbands wives to love their wives. In Titus 2 the Bible calls on wives to love their husbands. What Jesus is saying is, “Look at these kinds of loves.” There’s family love and loyalty with your father and mother. There’s erotic love with your spouse, husband or wife. There’s a unique kind of love you reserve only for your children.
Here’s what Jesus is doing. He is taking every kind of love there is, every kind of human love … He’s taking sexual love. He’s taking family love. He’s taking all these kinds of love, affection love, and he’s saying, “I want and I offer a kind of love that will make all of those pale by comparison. I don’t want sentiment. I don’t want just an inspirational feeling at the end of the sermon. “I want a love as real as your love for your wife or your husband… …as real, as passionate, and as vital, that it makes every other kind of human love pale by comparison.” That is what Jesus is saying.
1.2 Christ First
Jesus isn’t calling on you to lessen your love for your family, your spouse, or your children. Instead, He’s calling on you to increase your love for Christ. Your relationship with Christ needs to be in a category all by itself. It’s not that you love anyone family member too much; it’s that you love Christ too little.
2. Double Standard
When a big crowd is anticipated by most religious leaders, pastors usually want to wow them. We put in extra time to really make our message polished. We want the people who show up on Easter to come back the following week. But Jesus does something counterintuitive… “Now great crowds accompanied him, and he turned and said to them…” (Luke 14:25) When the crowds show up around Jesus, He issues a warning. Jesus sees the large crowd as a pool of potential disciples but He knows better than to see everyone as a real follower. You might even think of the crowds in the gospels as neutral followers, people who are still deciding.
Jesus doesn’t speak to the Twelve here as much as He does to the crowds. Jesus isn’t simply speaking to the full-time ministers in the crowd. He’s talking directly to those who wish to follow Him. And what He says to the Twelve, He says to the crowds. If you think there are two standards, one for the crowds and one for the disciples, think again. There’s no double standard. Instead, there’s only one standard.
2.1 Big Crowds
As we noted in previous messages in Luke’s gospel, Jesus reacts to the large crowd of followers in a surprising way. Jesus isn’t impressed with how many Twitter followers or how many Facebook friends He’s gathered. Jesus runs counterintuitive whenever big crowds accompany Him: “Now when he was in Jerusalem at the Passover Feast, many believed in his name when they saw the signs that he was doing. 24 But Jesus on his part did not entrust himself to them, because he knew all people.” (John 2:23-24)
On another occasion, the large crowds followed Jesus. They traveled a long way to follow Him and even searched for Him. Jesus had healed many sick people and fed many with only a few loaves. Jesus confronted them with these curious words: “Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day.” (John 5:54) After saying this, it’s no surprise to hear John’s reporting in these words: “After this many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him.” (John 6:66)
Jesus doesn’t soften His message so as to make Him even more appealing. Jesus doesn’t talk you into following Him. He’s not into celebrity endorsements. And He’s doesn’t have a marketing department on hand to get out His message.
2.2 Jesus the Algebra Teacher
I want to make sure you really see what Jesus is saying. So to help us, let’s meet Jesus, the algebra teacher. Because algebra is everyone’s favorite. And you know you’re in algebra class when you see the letter “x” floating everywhere, right? Jesus goes to the chalkboard, gets our His chalk, and with His back turned to the class, He writes this equation, “Whoever does not x cannot be my disciple.” “Whoever does not x cannot be my disciple.” Three times in these verses, we see this formula.
1. “If anyone comes to me and x, he cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:26)
2. “Whoever does not x cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:27) And Jesus repeats Himself one more time just to be sure we’ve got it.
3. “So therefore, any one of you who does not x cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:33) “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:26) “Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:27) “So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:33)
Anyone who wants to become a Christian must take up his/her cross. Anyone who wants to become a Christian must renounce all they have. And Anyone who wants to become a Christian must hate their family. “If anyone comes to me…” in verse 26 seems pretty inclusive doesn’t it? Or “any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple” in verse 33 seems to capture pretty much everyone. The simple fact of it is this: anyone means everyone. Again, there’s no double standard with Jesus. There’s one standard and one standard only. There’s no backdoor to the kingdom of heaven.
Hate Your Family
Double Standard
3. Define the Relationship
If you’re involved in a dating relationship with someone, then you’ll know the D.T.R. talk is coming eventually. D.T.R. is Define the Relationship. Every healthy relationship has to have one of these talks. Imagine Jesus sitting across from you right now and He asks, “Where are we right now? It’s time we define the relationship.” Jesus seems to have many fans, but few followers. Let’s get an accurate measurement of where you are… And here are some key tools for measuring by… Ask yourself these four questions:
1) When you’re hurt, where do you go for comfort?
2) What really gets you excited?
3) Where does your mind go when you have free time?
What does it take to get you to miss church? What does it take to get you to Daily Bible reading? What does it take to get you to move into a serious prayer time? What does it take to get you to a mission trip? And what does it take for you to sacrifice your money for? Your bank account may very well offer you the best evidence of whether you are fan of Jesus or a follower of Jesus.
Invitation Time
I’m going to offer you three levels in this Define the Relationship conversation. You need to choose your level. Be honest with yourself.
I’d Admire Jesus
You want to join Jesus’ fan club. If Jesus offered a Facebook page, you’d click “Like.” This is where the sanctuary becomes more like a stadium. You come here to cheer for Jesus. You admire Jesus; you’re a fan of Jesus.
I’d Like to Cohabitate with Jesus
You can’t say you ready for marriage with Jesus as of yet. But you’d like to move in and share bills. “Jesus, I admire you a great deal but let’s not be exclusive. I want to date other people.” “I have one condition in our relationship. I want to date other people.” You borrow your wife’s cell phone, only to see there dozens of calls to her former boyfriend. That’s going to be a problem.
Church Membership
Some of you are not an active member of any local church. You call themselves church-shoppers or church-hopper. You’re like a butterfly flitting from one church to another, never really committing themselves to serve Jesus.
Total Surrender
When you follow Jesus, you’re saying “Whenever, Wherever, Whatever.” Bill Bright was the founder of Campus Crusade for Christ. He wrote a gospel tract called Four Spiritual Laws and more than 2.5 billion copies of this small booklet has been distributed worldwide. Bright was also instrumental in making sure The Jesus Film was seen by more than 4 billion people around the world. If you visited the late Bill Bright’s grave, you’d find three words: Slave for Christ. What level are you on? Who’s invited to follow Jesus? Ex-cons, Alcoholics, potheads, addicts, hypocrites, Republicans, and Democrats. In a word – anyone. Jesus wants to know where your allegiance is.
