One Another
TCF Sermon
June 24, 2012
You occasionally read about churches or church members in various places who have battles over various things, some of which are important and worth debating, others clearly not.
Unfortunately, Church feuds are not uncommon. They are bad enough when a few individuals fuss about something, but when factions develop and people start taking sides, it’s worse. Worse still is when the pastor and choir director or worship leader get into a disagreement. When that happens - stand aside, there’s going to be trouble.
Here’s a fictional example:
One week, a pastor preached on commitment, and how we should dedicate ourselves to service. The director then led the choir in singing the hymn, I Shall Not Be Moved.
The next Sunday, the preacher preached on giving and how we should gladly give to the work of the Lord. The choir director then led the song, Jesus Paid It All.
The next Sunday, the preacher preached on gossiping and how we should watch our tongues. The hymn was I Love To Tell The Story.
The preacher became disgusted over the situation and, the next Sunday, he told the congregation he was considering resigning. The choir then sang Oh, Why Not Tonight.
When the preacher resigned the next week, he told the church that Jesus had led him there and Jesus was leading him away. The choir then sang, What A Friend We Have in Jesus.
Fictional story, and somewhat humorous, but relationships in the body of Christ are no laughing matter. We could make a case that the quality and character of our relationships with each other are a sign to the outside world, an example of the gospel at work in our daily lives. The apostle Paul certainly thought so. If you have your Bibles, turn with me to Ephesians 4:1-3.
Ephesians 4:1-3 (ESV) 1 I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3 eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
Eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. What a great admonition from Scripture. And Paul doesn’t just ask us to do this without any additional application – he gives a couple of practical examples here, and in many other places in scripture provides clear application of this principle, often using two key words – one another.
Our life together is to be focused first on Christ, but in Christ, we maintain the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace by paying attention to, seeking to grow in, what, for the sake of this morning’s message, I’m going to call “one anotherisms.”
We actually see it stated as such once in this passage in Ephesians when Paul tells us to bear with one another. But he implies three additional one anotherisms in the verse, too. Though he doesn’t use the words one another related to these three, it’s clear that our humility is to be toward one another, our gentleness is to be with one another, and our patience is toward one another.
In pondering this passage, I began to think about the many times we see this two word combination in the New Testament, and how the frequency of this indicates the importance that God must place on how we relate to one another. It’s so important, that God inspired the writers of scripture to be specific, and provide for us many specific examples of how we are to relate to one another, our fellow believers, and in many cases, to the rest of the world.
I did a search of scripture and came up with 38 different one-anotherisms, and I don’t believe that my search reveals the entirety of what God’s Word has to say on this theme. That’s because, again, I found many verses where, depending on the translation, the “one another” was assumed rather than stated as such.
For example, one of the verses I looked at (2 Cor 13:11), which included an additional one anotherism, also stated “live in peace.” It’s assumed by the context that this means live in peace with one another. There are other verses where this same idea is stated more explicitly with the actual words “one another.”
For example, Mark 9:50 says “be at peace with one another.” In a few cases, my search included the words “each other” – but I didn’t do a thorough search with those two words, which can mean virtually the same thing as “one another.” I’m convinced that if I had done so, I’d find even more “one-anotherisms.”
So the study I did included only those verses that actually use these words: one another.
Because of that, I can say fairly confidently that there are at least 38 different one anotherisms in the New Testament. What does that fact mean to us? Again, this must be pretty important, pretty central to how we are to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Most of these one anotherisms are expressed positively – that is, they say “do this.” But seven of them are expressed negatively, in other words, they say “don’t do this.”
So, as Paul instructed us in the passage in Ephesians, bear with me for a few minutes here, while I tell you at least 37 different one-anotherisms I found in the NT. Let the force of these soak in as you listen, or read on the screen.
- bear with one another
- at peace with (harmony, accord with)
- wash one another’s feet (humility toward one another, service toward one another)
- love one another – I found this stated specifically 14 times
- live in harmony with one another
- build up one another (edify, spiritual profit or advancement)
- welcome one another - also translated accept one another
- instruct one another
- greet one another
- wait for one another
- care for one another
- agree with one another
- serve one another
- bear one another’s burdens (different from bear with one another)
- be kind to one another
- forgive one another
- tenderhearted toward one another
- submit to one another
- regard one another as more important than yourselves
- admonish one another
- abound in love for one another
- encourage one another
- do good to one another
- exhort one another
- stir up one another to love and good deeds
- confess your sins to one another
- pray for one another
- show hospitality to one another
- (be humble) toward one another
And then there are these, expressed as don’ts rather than do’s:
- don’t sue one another (N)
- do not speak evil of one another (N)
- don’t grumble against one another (N)
- do not lie to one another (N)
- (don’t) provoke one another (N)
- (don’t) envy one another (N)
- don’t pass judgment on one another (N)
Let these soak in. The volume of these admonitions. The clarity and specific nature of these. Think of how our relationships with one another will look, how we will indeed experience peace and unity, when we are faithful to allow the Holy Spirit to work in our lives these one-anotherisms. Think of how so many of them clearly strike at the sinful selfishness that’s so deeply rooted in all of us.
Think of how humbling so many of these one-anotherisms are, and not just the ones that specifically admonish humility, but do so tacitly. Think of how Jesus was the clearest, purest model of one-anotherisms expressed in daily life.
John 13:12-15 (ESV) 12 When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, “Do you understand what I have done to you? 13 You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. 14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you.
Humility is a key theme in many of these, and we also see that though they use different words, there is a common theme even among the different one-anotherisms.
Romans 12:16 (ESV) 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.
We probably could have added another negatively expressed one-anotherism based on this verse, because of the context. When it says here, “do not be haughty,” because the context is living in harmony with one another, the “one another” is assumed regarding being haughty – we might say “do not be haughty with one another..” because that haughtiness is a barrier to harmony. Again, humility is an underlying theme in many of these specific one-anotherisms. When we read in
Romans 14:13 (ESV) 13 Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.
We see humility undergirding the admonition to not pass judgment. When we read in
1 Corinthians 11:33 (ESV) 33 So then, my brothers, when you come together to eat, wait for one another—
We see humility in the instruction to wait for one another, preferring to allow someone else to go before you. When we read in
Galatians 6:2 (ESV) 2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
We see not only humility, but again, a smack against our selfish nature. Our selfish nature says to us – I have enough of my own problems and burdens. Why should I be concerned about anyone else? But Paul tells the Galatians clearly, “bear one another’s burdens.” Again, we see humility and selfishness addressed, when we read the one anotherisms in
Philippians 2:2-3 (NASB) 2 make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. 3 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;
I think we could say that the majority of these one anotherisms address our pride and selfishness and inherent lack of humility. But they also deal with more practical issues that we see so clearly in ourselves and in the world.
I’ve been impressed recently by the thought that we live in a world full of liars. Truth-telling is very much in the minority, it seems to me, these days. So, how are we Christians to be different? This one anotherism tells us.
Colossians 3:9-10 (ESV) 9 Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.
In this verse, we also see another important theme. We’re new creations, and we need to put off the old one and put on the new one. In Ephesians the same idea is expressed a little differently: “I urge you to walk in you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called.” We’ll explore this further in a few minutes.
Another thing we see a lack of in the world is forgiveness. Everybody it seems wants their pound of flesh, their punishment, their idea of justice – “getting even” is seen almost as a virtue. People want to hang onto hurts, and the result is bitterness and anger.
Did anyone watch the Hatfields and McCoys series on History Channel? This dramatic retelling was somewhat true to the real history of those famously feuding families in West Virginia and Kentucky. There was hardly a redeeming character in the whole three part series. But the feud didn’t end, the blood and the killing didn’t stop, until someone was willing to forgive. And in the context of that story, that forgiveness cost those doing the initial forgiving. This is a clear one anotherism we see in the New Testament, and it’s to be a hallmark of how followers of Christ relate to one another.
Colossians 3:12-14 (ESV) 12 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.
According to some sources, and this was depicted as a final scene in the movie, the head of the Hatfield clan, Anderson Hatfield, known as Devil Anse, was baptized late in life. And he was depicted as the one who decided to let go of the offense and forgive for the sake of ending the feud, though for years he had been an instigator in keeping it going. One biography said:
Hatfield went through a transformation in the later years of his life. He had once said, "I belong to no Church unless you say that I belong to the one great Church of the world. If you like, you can say it is the devil’s Church that I belong to." But he changed his tune, choosing to be baptized in 1911.
And this change of tune was likely related to this one anotherism we see – forgive one another.
Of course, we also see that the overarching one anotherism, or the foundational one anotherism, is obviously “love one another.” Pretty much every other one anotherism is a practical aspect of loving one another.
As I noted a moment ago, I found the phrase love one another at least 14 times in the New Testament, more than any other one anotherism. Even in the passage we read a moment ago from Colossians 3, we see that this is the chief, foundational one-anotherism, and the root of all the others.
Verse 14 says: And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.
As we read the many one another verses in the NT, we very often see love combined with, or even elevated above, the other one anotherisms in specific verses.
1 Peter 4:8-10 (ESV) 8 Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. 9 Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10 As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace:
Love one another is clearly a commandment.
1 John 3:23 (ESV) 23 And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us.
We must recognize, however, that these one anotherisms are rooted not in our need to be nice people, good people, even moral people. These one anotherisms, and especially the overarching one anotherism of love one another, are all rooted in, grounded in, the love of God for us.
1 John 4:11-12 (ESV) 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.
Even a closer look back at the passage that began our study this morning shows us that the source of these one anotherisms is the love of God, revealed in the gospel of His grace. This is important for us to realize, because otherwise, we’re just preaching moralism. Or what one sociologist called Moralistic Therapeutic Deism.
This sociologist, named Christian Smith, noted this:
(there’s a) pattern of religious beliefs (called) Moralistic Therapeutic Deism. Teenagers learn these beliefs from the adults in their lives. It is the American cultural religion. Teenagers are "moralistic" in that they believe that God wants us to be good, and that the main purpose of religion is to help people be good. But since it is possible to be good without being religious, religion is an optional tool that can be chosen by those who find it helpful. American Christianity is "therapeutic" in that we believe that God and religion are valuable because they help us feel better about our problems. Finally, American teenagers show their "deism" in that they believe in a God who remains in the background of their lives—always watching over them, ready to help them, but not at the center of their lives. source: Christianity Today
The main purpose of some religions may be to help us be good. But for Christians, the purpose of our faith is to trust in Christ for the forgiveness of our sins. Anything else is the result of this.
So, let’s be careful here. This idea is worth thinking about some more. We see all these one anotherisms in scripture, and we might think they’re there primarily to help us be good.
And at some level, that may be true. But for the believer in Christ, it’s so much more than that. That’s because a lot of religions have lists of things that are good to do. If we succumb to thinking that these are the things that make us Christian, we’re missing the gospel.
Clearly, these one anotherisms are the way we’re supposed to behave. But the gospel tells us first that we cannot be good, all have sinned, we cannot be moral, we can’t consistently and faithfully practice these one anotherisms. We’re pathologically incapable of these things without Christ.
You might say, well, Bill, a lot of people who don’t believe in God do these things, at least sometimes. And of course, that’s true. But I would contend that even unbelievers do these things because the grace of God is at work in them, too, whether they recognize it as such or not.
It’s what some theologians have called “common grace.” But common grace is different, and much less powerful, than the grace by which we are saved and sanctified in Christ, which, first and foremost, saves us from sin and death, and then, equips us to practice these one anotherisms. Let’s look again at the Ephesians passage we began with.
Ephesians 4:1-3 (ESV) 1 I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3 eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
Thus far, we’ve focused on the one anotherisms, and the resulting unity and peace that they bring into the body of Christ. But what’s Paul saying to us here? He’s saying “live up to who you are in Christ – who you are “called” to be.” God says, “this is who I invited you to be. This is who we are meant to be in Christ.” Why? Not just because of what comes before these verses, but what comes after:
Ephesians 4:4-6 (ESV) 4 There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.
And it’s always a good practice when you see the word therefore, to determine what the word therefore is there for. To do that, we have to see what’s preceding these verses, back in Chapter 3. So, let’s go all the way back to Ephesians 3:14 and read to the end of the chapter, which is what immediately precedes what Paul writes in Ephesians 4:1-3.
Ephesians 3:14-21 (ESV) 14 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, 16 that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love,
18 may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. 20 Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
This is a sort of doxology, a prayer of praise to God for what He has accomplished in Christ. Paul is laying the doctrinal foundation here for what follows. The doctrine is that He is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think. The doctrine is that it is His power that is at work within us. The doctrine is that it’s for His glory. The doctrine Paul wants us to understand is the love of Christ. He wants us to be rooted and grounded in that love, and strengthened with power through His Spirit.
Then, after all this, Paul writes to us at the beginning of chapter 4: Therefore (in other words, because these things are true) walk in a manner worthy of the calling.
The calling is to the Kingdom. It’s not a calling to be nice, moral people. That should be a result – but it’s not the calling.
The calling is "not of works" but of the sovereign grace of God (Rom. 9:11), "who saved us and called us with a holy [hagía, holy in the effect of that calling] calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace, which was given in Christ Jesus before times eternal" (2 Tim. 1:9). The call which thus comes from God is "in Christ" (1 Pet. 5:10) and "through the gospel" (2 Thess. 2:14), to "the fellowship of his Son" (1 Cor. 1:9), to "freedom" (Gal. 5:13), not "for uncleanness but in sanctification" (1 Thess. 4:7), to "eternal life" (1 Tim. 6:12), to holiness "as he which hath called you is holy" (1 Pet. 1:15). source: Complete Word Study Dictionary
Paul is exhorting the church to unity, and including in this path to unity these “one anotherisms,” but it must be based on the truth of God’s saving grace in Christ. When Paul writes here of the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace,
Peace is a state of reconciliation and love and therefore acts as a bond to unite believers in Christ. Believers do not create unity but are to preserve the unity already established. ESV Study Bible
One anotherisms must be based in the already-established gospel of grace. They must be a response to this gospel, not just an appeal to be moral and good on our own efforts or to be moral and good for the sake of being moral and good.
Otherwise, Christians are just nice people, just like nice Muslims, nice atheists, nice Buddhists or nice Jews, not an unworthy, sinful people redeemed by the blood of the Lamb, whose lives have been redeemed and then changed more and more into the image of Christ.
The main purpose of Christianity is not to make us good people. That’s a benefit, and it is a lifelong result of the process of His sanctifying us. But Christ came to save sinners, like me.
Consequently, we see what Paul’s therefore is there for. It’s referring back to his clear exposition of the gospel of grace to the Ephesians in the previous chapters – all this written before the urging to walk according to the grace-calling of God.
Has it ever occurred to you that one hundred pianos all tuned to the same fork are automatically tuned to each other? They are of one accord by being tuned, not to each other, but to another standard to which each one must individually bow. So one hundred worshipers [meeting] together, each one looking away to Christ, are in heart nearer to each other than they could possibly be, were they to become ’unity’ conscious and turn their eyes away from God to strive for closer fellowship. A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God
Motivation matters. God looks at the heart. Why do we practice these one anotherisms? Because while we were still sinners Christ died for us. Otherwise it becomes nothing but Moralistic Therapeutic Deism. Just another self-help program designed to make us nice people, instead of what it is:
God’s plan, established before the foundation of the world, to rescue hopelessly lost human beings from sin and death. God loved us, so we love one another, and practice all these additional one anotherisms that flesh out that love in practical and selfless ways.
It’s all a grateful response, and a witness to a watching world, of His love for us. Pray
