Summary: Examining a list of "momisms" to find the biblical truth behind these common sayings

Mom Was Right

The Proverbial Mom

TCF Sermon

May 9, 2010

Proverbs 6:20 (NIV) My son, keep your father’s commands and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.

Mother’s Day is probably the toughest day of the year to preach. That’s primarily because it seems that Mother’s Day is a minefield of different emotions for so many in any given church.

For example, some of us did not have mothers who were godly, and that makes any admonition to honor our mothers, or even remember or think about our mothers, a real challenge.

Some of us had, or maybe even still have, painful relationships with our mothers, so thinking of them on this day is tough.

Some of you are mothers, and maybe your kids aren’t walking with the Lord, or you’re estranged from them for one reason or another, and that causes a special kind of grief on Mother’s Day.

Some want to be mothers but aren’t or can’t be, leading to another kind of grief.

Some of us had great mothers, but they’re gone to be with the Lord, and we miss them.

Of course, some of us have wonderful mothers, and still have a great relationship with them. But you can see that, with all these potential realities present in our auditorium this morning, it presents some very real challenges to any preacher who would focus on Mother’s Day as the theme of a sermon.

Besides, how many ways can you say honor your mother? I’ve done that on Mother’s Day, and will, to some extent, do that again today. I’ve also on past Mothers Days, taken the approach that Mother’s Day is a good day to reflect on the issues of life in our culture. After all, the first mother, Eve, has a name that means “life.”

One thing we all have in common – regardless of where you might fit into the mine field I described – is that we all have mothers. Our mothers gave us life. Whether they turned out to be great moms or terrible moms, or something in between, the Bible is clear that we are to honor our mothers.

So, what do we do with all this on Mother’s Day? We recognize the realities of these situations, then take the plunge and tiptoe through the minefield, trying not to explode, and look to the Word of God.

It’s interesting to consider this passage of scripture we read at the beginning. Let’s look at it again:

Proverbs 6:20 (NIV) My son, keep your father’s commands and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.

For the sake of this morning’s message, we’re going to look at the “do not forsake your mother’s teaching” part.

Some of our most memorable moments in life are captured in things our mothers said to us. Some of them are quite poignant, some are profound, some seem wise, and some are actually funny.

A little quick research will produce dozens of what some people call “momisms.”

Every mom has a favorite quote and a special tone to scold or teach a lesson to their recalcitrant kids. We might hate this momism as a kid but we all so much miss them when we grow up. This harsh sounding and yet so sweet advice from mothers is what makes our childhood so special. These motherly sayings go a long way in building us strong and making us a better person. Though we (sometimes laugh about) our moms for …their statements, ironically we all use the same momism that we received from our mothers on our (own) kids. Here is list of some of the most common and popular momisms. Source: http://www.mothersdaycelebration.com/momisms.html

Always wear clean underwear in case you get in an accident.

Answer me when I ask you a question!

Are you going out dressed like that?

Are your hands broken? Pick it up yourself! I’m not your maid!

As long as you live under my roof, you’ll do as I say.

Beds are NOT made for jumping on.

Call me when you get there, just so I know you’re okay.

Don’t go out with a wet head, you’ll catch cold.

Don’t pick that scab, it’ll get infected.

Don’t talk with your mouth full!

Don’t cross your eyes or they’ll freeze that way.

Don’t EVER let me catch you doing that again!

Don’t make me come in there!

Don’t put that in your mouth, you don’t know where it’s been.

Shut the door! I’m not heating (or air conditioning) the entire neighborhood!

Look at this room! It looks like a pigsty!

What part of NO don’t you understand?

You will ALWAYS be my baby.

Now, it seems to me that there’s some truth in many of these things. Some common sense, too. But I got to thinking – are there some momisms that are like Proverbs – truths that are borne out in some way in passages of Scripture? I think there are, and we’re going to explore a handful of these this morning. I also thought that, in describing an aspect of His grace or His mercy, God has compared Himself with qualities we would most readily associate with mothers. Perhaps the best example of this is found in Isaiah.

Isaiah 66:13 (NASB95) "As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you;

Most of us can relate to a mother’s comfort. Sometimes, when things are difficult, you just need your mom. There’s no substitute, even among others in whose love you may be absolutely comfortable. Even as adults, sometimes, we just need to talk to mom, or in some cases, a mother figure in our lives. A sort of related sidebar here:

Let me brag for a moment on our church secretary, as well as some of the young women in our church. Debbie seems to be a mother figure to so many. Even to some who have great moms. I happen to know that she meets regularly with some of our young adult women in the church, who were smart enough to see the grace and wisdom of God in this woman, and know that it was in their best spiritual interest to draw from that well.

What a tremendous resource we have in this church – we have so many Godly women and Godly men – Debbie’s just an example. Take advantage of these resources, because God may use these mother or father figures in your life, even if your own parents are great.

So back to Isaiah, where we actually find God drawing a comparison between a mother’s comfort and His comfort. So, while that doesn’t mean a mother’s comfort is equal to what God can do – after all, He’s also described in scripture as the God of all comfort – but a mother’s comfort is something at least most of us can understand, and God presents this as an illustration of His comfort. Perhaps we often find that God’s agent of His comfort is a mother.

So while God is clearly our Heavenly Father, and not our heavenly mother, it’s also clear that there are things about mothers – the things they say and do, that in some ways reflect God the Father.

With that in mind, let’s look at some of the things mothers have been known to say, some momisms, that just might be things we should pay attention to, rather than dismiss.

How about this one for starters? Money does not grow on trees.

Deuteronomy 8:18 (NASB95) "But you shall remember the LORD your God, for it is He who is giving you power to make wealth,

One of the jobs of parents is to teach children stewardship, and the value of money and possessions, and the source of those things.

1 Tim. 6:6-10 But godliness with contentment is great gain. 7For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. 8But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. 9People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. 10For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

Matthew 6:24 24"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.

So, the statement money doesn’t grow on trees could be considered a memorable way of telling us that having money takes hard work. Having money is the Lord’s provision. Having money is a responsibility before God. Having money shouldn’t be something that controls or owns us. God is our provider, and we can learn contentment in material things. Of course, all those things are not contained in that simple momism, however at least some of that is implicit in the statement.

How about the famous…“If I talked to my mother like you talk to me.... “

This is usually said when the child either raises a voice at a parent, or says something disrespectful, or maybe even something hateful. Maybe the child even has a potty mouth.

I think there are some biblical admonitions we could find supporting this momism being a vernacular way of communicating spiritual truth.

Proverbs 20:20 (NIV) If a man curses his father or mother, his lamp will be snuffed out in pitch darkness.

Exodus 21:17 (NASB95) "He who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death.

Leviticus 20:9 (NIV) "’If anyone curses his father or mother, he must be put to death. He has cursed his father or his mother, and his blood will be on his own head.

Now, at first blush, especially in our culture, that sounds pretty over the top, pretty harsh, doesn’t it? In our culture, sassing your parents or giving them an attitude of disrespect, might get you grounded. It might cause you to lose some privileges. Depending on how old you are, it might even get you a spanking. But in America, it’s quite unlikely to get you snuffed out, or put to death.

However, though I’m not advocating this, and nobody here would condone that, these passages do let us know how seriously God takes the admonition to honor your mother. While the punishment has changed, what hasn’t changed is how God views this. Cursing your mother or father certainly isn’t honoring them. And the consequences were severe.

Here’s another momism that, believe it or not, I found a scripture to relate this last one with. We just looked at the momism: “if I talked to my mother like you talked to me…”

How about this one: Be careful or you’ll put your eye out.

We usually hear that related to a dangerous activity or toy, as in “you’ll shoot your eye out with that bb gun,” or “run with that stick and you’ll put your eye out.”

How are these two related? Well, let me read this from Proverbs and we’ll see.

Proverbs 30:17 (NIV) "The eye that mocks a father, that scorns obedience to a mother, will be pecked out by the ravens of the valley, will be eaten by the vultures.

Whoa!! How about that? So next time, moms, or even dads, you can combine the two, perhaps sounding something like this: If I talked to my mother like you’re talking to me …well, you’d better be careful because you’ll put your eye out. Then read Proverbs 30:17 to enhance the momism.

Now, I make light of this on the one hand, because you can find justification for almost anything or idea in scripture, and that’s kind of what I just did. Yet, again, this proverb reinforces the strength of biblical admonitions to honor, obey and respect parents.

We’ve seen before, that this may look different when we get older, but that command is never rescinded by our age. We’re to honor our mothers, we’re to honor each other, we’re to honor God, not primarily because of what they’ve accomplished, achieved, or excelled at.

We’re to honor them because of the position they hold - we’re to honor our mothers just because they’re our mothers. Because of what and who they are.

This is where we can relate these other momisms to another one: Because I’m your mother that’s why.

Deuteronomy 5:16 (NASB95) ’Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, that your days may be prolonged and that it may go well with you on the land which the LORD your God gives you.

This is where it gets difficult, because I realize that while many, maybe most of us, can find wonderful things to say about our mother’s character and achievements, as it relates directly to us...- in other words, our mothers did this for us, they did that for us, as we’ve already noted, some of us didn’t have, or don’t have, very good mothers.

But, when the Word of God says to honor our mothers, the command has little to do with anything other than position. Whenever a child trusts in God and obeys His Word, he honors his parents. Even an unbelieving parent is honored by a believing and obedient child.

But what if a person has parents who are hardly worthy of honor? Can’t we all think of children whose parents seem to have done their best to ruin their lives? Children who have been physically, emotionally, or sexually abused will have to deal with the effects of this for their entire life. How can such children honor their parents?

When we honor our parents, we acknowledge that they have been ordained of God to be our parents and to receive our honor. Honoring parents who are not worthy of honor can only be done when we recognize that God has appointed them to be parents, they are honored for their God-given position of parent, not for their performance as a parent. Biblical honor is largely positional.

So, obedience when we’re young is to our benefit, and it’s the key way we can honor our mothers. But, as young adults, that changes at some point after you leave home. Then, we honor our parents by appreciating what they’ve contributed to our lives. As mature adults, we honor our parents by caring for their needs.

There are many of us in this position today. That may include everything from caring for their physical needs, because they’re growing more frail - to caring for their financial needs.

So, honoring parents takes different forms for different people, and in different circumstances. The bottom line is that the commandment to honor our mothers never changes.

Here’s another momism with biblical truth behind it.

What if everyone jumped off a cliff? Would you do it, too?

Related: I don’t care what "everyone" is doing. I care what YOU are doing!

Isaiah 3:12 (NASB95) Those who guide you lead you astray And confuse the direction of your paths.

Exodus 34:16 (NIV) And when you choose some of their daughters as wives for your sons and those daughters prostitute themselves to their gods, they will lead your sons to do the same.

1 John 2:26 (NIV) I am writing these things to you about those who are trying to lead you astray.

1 John 3:7 (NIV) Dear children, do not let anyone lead you astray.

Romans 12:2 (NLT) Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

We’re talking about influence here, aren’t we? When moms say things like this, they’re pointing out that there are influences in our lives, and they’re not all good.

They’re asking us to consider whether these influences will lead us away from God, or if they’ll lead us to a wholehearted devotion to the Lord. They’re teaching us to take responsibility for our own choices and not just follow the crowd.

Then, we have this one:

If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NASB95) Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing.

Matthew 12:36 (NIV) But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken.

James 1:19 (NIV) My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,

Colossians 4:6 (NASB95) Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.

This momism is telling us that words matter. Especially in relationships with one another. This momism is admonishing us to encourage one another, and exhibit the grace of God to one another as we speak.

Our next momism is this one:

If you fall out of that tree and break your leg , don’t come running to me.

Now, this one may seem to exhibit a lack of compassion, but what it’s really saying is that choices have consequences, and most of the time we’ve been warned of the consequences.

We see this idea spoken of in the Word as well.

Galatians 6:7-9 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.

Proverbs 22:8 He who sows wickedness reaps trouble, and the rod of his fury will be destroyed.

Proverbs 1:31 they will eat the fruit of their ways and be filled with the fruit of their schemes.

How about this momism? If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times.

We’re a forgetful people and moms are among the first to notice that. And scripture often notes that we need reminders.

2 Peter 1:13 (NIV) I think it is right to refresh your memory as long as I live in the tent of this body,

2 Peter 1:15 (NIV) And I will make every effort to see that after my departure you will always be able to remember these things.

Romans 15:15 (NLT) Even so, I have been bold enough to write about some of these points, knowing that all you need is this reminder.

The last momism I’d like to look at this morning is: This hurts me more than it hurts you.

Both moms and dads know that this is true. It’s easier emotionally to suffer yourself, than to watch the childen you love more than your own life suffer.

One of the greatest lessons parents learn when their children hurt, is in getting just a glimpse of how God feels. How he feels when we hurt, for any reason. But also, how he feels when we reject His love and grace.

Now, we have to be careful here, because we cannot draw an exact parallel between God’s feelings and ours. Our feelings change, and they come and go, depending on the circumstances. But the scripture says that God does not change.

Our feelings and emotions are often a result of our fallen imperfection. God is perfect and holy.

So we have to be careful that we do not assign to God the same emotional life we have. Nevertheless, it’s clear that, though God feels in a way we cannot entirely understand, the language of scripture helps us relate to this with words we can understand.

Psalms 78:40 (NIV) How often they rebelled against him in the desert and grieved him in the wasteland!

Isaiah 63:10 (NASB95) But they rebelled And grieved His Holy Spirit;

Lamentations 3:33 (NIV) For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men.

Genesis 6:5-6 (NIV) The LORD saw how great man’s wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time. The LORD was grieved that he had made man on the earth, and his heart was filled with pain.

It begs the question: Did God regret creating us? Some people use this passage and others to show that God is not omniscient – that He doesn’t know everything, and can thus make mistakes.

But if we consider these other scriptures, it can’t possibly mean that:

1 Samuel 15:29 (NIV) He who is the Glory of Israel does not lie or change his mind; for he is not a man, that he should change his mind."

Malachi 3:6 (NIV) "I the LORD do not change.

James 1:17 (NIV) Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

Instead, (God) was expressing sorrow for what the people had done to themselves, as a parent might express sorrow over a rebellious child. God was sorry that the people chose sin and death instead of a relationship with him. Life Application Bible

But, when we read these other passages where it describes God’s grief, and His pain at our sinful choices, we can relate to the truth in the momism, “this hurts me more than it hurts you.”

One way our sin hurts God more than it hurts us is seen here, in what our sin cost Him:

John 3:16 (NIV) "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Romans 5:8 (NIV) But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

As sinful human beings, we have no light of our own. We’re moons, reflecting the light of the Son, and mothers can reflect God’s light. After all, it seems, in many of these things – Mom was right.

So, this morning, let’s be grateful that God has given us mothers….mothers who can reflect God’s wisdom in some of these momisms. Mothers who can reflect God’s compassion in their compassion. And mothers who shine the light of God’s love in little ways and big ways.

Pray