“What’s Love got to Do with it?”
1st Corinthians 13
Through the years there have been tens of thousands of songs written that we would call love songs. Many of these of course have been country songs. We all remember songs like Your Cheatin Heart, don’t break my heart, my achy, breaky heart. There have also been many country songs that were written about love that have some humorous titles.....these are actual song tiles....
I’m just a bug on the windshield of life.
If love was oil I’d be a quart low.
If my nose was full of nickels, I’d blow it all on you.
My wife ran off with my best friend and I sure do miss him.
You’re the reason our kids are so ugly.
Here’s a quarter call someone who cares.
I still miss you baby but my aim’s getting better.
You tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat.
I also remember one written by Tina Turner titled “what’s love got to do with it? As much as some of us enjoy these songs...they make us laugh, some people cry I certainly prefer what the Bible has to say about this thing called love. Let me ask you a question...is there anything in life that is more important or more needed than love? Every one of us want to be loved.
1st Corinthians 13 is known as the famous love passage in the Bible. It is read at many weddings. Now when Paul wrote this he wasn’t however thinking about weddings or romance. Chapter 13 comes right in the middle of a lengthy discussion on the use and abuse of spiritual gifts in chapters 12 & 14. There was constant arguing, disputes everywhere and divisions that were taking place in the NT church. They argued about whose spiritual hgifts were the best, they were taking each other to court, they had conflict over the Lord’s supper and I’m sure their marriages were in trouble as well.
One person described marriage in this way: Every marriage is two incompatible people in an impossible relationship. If that’s the case, how in the world can any marriage work today? What is it that can actually hold two people together who may on the surface seem so incompatible?
Well here’s the answer. Simply put, the glue is love. And I think this is a better definition. Love is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person. Listen if you suddenly realize that you and your spouse are incompatible that just means that you know what God has already known. The real challenge is to live out your unconditional commitment by loving your imperfect spouse.
You perhaps already know that the Greek word used here is the word agape. And it’s different from the words we see in the Greek for love...like Eros...which means romantic love and phileo which means brotherly love. Philadelphia is known as the city of brotherly love. But agape refers to unconditional love. It’s God kind of love. While we were sinners, Christ died for us . Not while we were good, not while we deserved it. Agape love is a love we give to others without a thought of whether they are worthy to receive it or not. That’s the word used in this chapter.
Follow along as I read the first 3 verses. 1st Corinthians 13. I would call this the Preference of love.
In verses 1 Paul is saying that even if he could master several languages and be able to speak the language of angels but he didn’t have love then he would be nothing more than a resounding gong or a clanging symbol. In the first century there was a big gong or cymbal hanging at the entrance of most pagan temples. When people would come in for worship they would hit this gong in the hope that it would awaken the pagan gods so they would listen to their prayers. Paul is saying if you don’t have love, it’s like pounding on a cymbal to a god who doesn’t listen. One who is dead.
Paul would say that with all the knowledge we have today of medicine, nuclear science, philosophy, psychology and theology if we still do not have love, we are nothing. Love is preferred over everything else.
Then we see the Properties of Love. While love is preferred over anything else he now challenges us to put the properties of love into practice. It’s not enough to just acknowledge that love is important....we have to show this agape love by how we live...by how we treat people..including our family. In the book of John, Jesus challenged us when He said a new command I give to you..love each other. As i have loved you, love each other. John 13:34 NLT.
Love is not a suggestion, it is a command. Agape love always leads to action. That means that you must fight for your marriage; you must demonstrate love to your spouse. We can’t just say honey I told you that I loved you when we got married.....if it ever changes I’ll let you know. People want to hear those words. I love you.
We tend to think that love is something that just happens to us, like the 5 years old who said love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other. Notice verses 4-7. This passage tells us what love does and doesn’t do. What it is and what it isn’t. Paul begins with two positive properties.
* Love is patient. Most of us wish this one wasn’t listed first. It means we hang in there...we wait and we let God do his work.
* Love is kind. In other words, love volunteers itself to help when there is a need. It is really patience in action. While attending a marriage conference with his wife on the topic of communication, one husband really blew it. The instructor had just said, it is essential that husbands and wives know each other’s likes and their dislikes. He then turned to the man and asked him, can you name your wife’s favorite flower? The husband leaned over, touched his wife’s arm gently and whispered, it’s Pillsbury isn’t it dear? Wrong answer.
The next list of properties tells us what love is not or what love doesn’t do.
* Love does not envy. Instead of wishing I had what you have; love helps me to celebrate what God has given to you without being jealous of it.
* Love does not boast/brag. This word literally means a braggart but listen, it can also mean a wind-bag. Love is not full of hot air.
* Love is not proud. Pride has no place in a Christian marriage. If you’re wrong, admit it. If you need to apologize just do it. Lose your pride.
* Love is not rude. The Greek word here means that love does not behave in an ugly, indecent or obscene manner. Love is never offensive.
* Love is not self-seeking. It is not selfish. True love does not seek to build us up rather it puts others first. Alan Redpath said that the reason behind every problem we have in Christian homes, communities and churches is that we want our own way and our own glory. Let me ask you something....do you put your spouse’s needs and interests before your own?
* Love is not easily angered. J.B. Phillips paraphrases this by saying that love is not touchy.
“ Love keeps no record of wrongs. This is an accounting term and it means we must not add up or itemize the failures of other people. Don’t keep score.
* Love does not delight in evil. Paul is saying that love doesn’t focus on bad things that may happen along the way.
Paul then moves to 5 positive aspects of love and what he does here is that he paints a picture of love in action. Even though you may not feel very loving you can still act loving toward your spouse. Either way we are called to live out a love commitment in our marriages. Feelings come and go. Actions should not be based on feelings.
Here is the picture.
* Love rejoices with the truth. The word truth here is the opposite of evil.
* Love always protects. There is nothing love cannot face..it covers up everything. Like a blanket. It covers up a multitude of sins. When we are quick to notice fault then we are not practicing love.
* Love always trusts. We resist the temptation to think the worst. We not only hand out 2nd chances, we also give out 3rd, 4th and 5th ones.
* Love always hopes. Things can get better no matter how dark they may look. Love is a refusal to say that mistakes are final.
* Love always perseveres. Love hangs in there with your spouse.
Finally Paul describes the permanence of love. Look at verses 8-13.
We could actually summarize this passage with the first 3 words, “love never fails.” Feelings may fail....Paul says prophecies will stop and knowledge will pass away but love never fails. C.S. Lewis put it this way. “Do not waste time thinking about whether you love someone, act as if you do anyway. As soon as we do this we find one of te great secrets of life. When you are behaving as if you loved someone you will begin to do that very thing.”
Philip Yancey tells the story of sitting in a tiny house in S.C. Watching as Robertson McQuilkin fed homemade soup to his wife, spoonful by spoonful, laughing, talking to her, stroking her cheek, wiping away the spilled food. She could still raise one arm and wave it, tough she made no sounds and showed no signs of recognizing her husband of 40 years. Dr. McQuilkin had resigned as president of a Christian College to care for his wife Muriel. She had been very successful as a teacher and radio personality until the onset of Alzheimer’s disease. For 20 years he took on that responsibility, cancelling many speaking engagements and taking an early retirement from a job he loved....so that he could be constantly available to his wife. When asked why he did he responded, “Why?” I took a vow before God. In sickness and in health. Isn’t that what love is all about?” What does love have to do with it? Absolutely everything! Paul said we have faith and we have hope and we have love and one thing is for sure love matters the most.
