Pity Party

HoHum:

Back in the 60’s there was a singer named Lesley Gore who recorded, “It’s My Party.” The lyrics were written by Seymour Gottlieb, a freelance songwriter. The song lyrically portrays the discomfort of a teenage girl at her birthday party when her boyfriend Johnny disappears, only to return in the company of Judy, another girl, who is “wearing his ring,” to indicate he has replaced the birthday girl as his love interest. Now that is something to cry about. Sing the chorus. The inspiration for the song relates to Gottlieb’s daughter Judy’s “Sweet 16” party and she was not crying over a boyfriend. She was crying over the prospect of her grandparents being invited to the party. Now that is cringe worthy, Judy was having a pity party over what I think is minor.

WBTU:

Pity is one of the most unselfish emotions available to human beings; having a pity party is the most contemptible. Pity (sympathy) is the capacity to enter into the pain of another to do something about it; having a pity party is an incapacity, a crippling emotional disease that distorts our perception of reality. Pity discovers the need in others for love and healing and then fashions speech and action that brings strength; having a pity party reduces the universe to a festering wound that is displayed for all to see, designed to evoke pity from others. The attractiveness of pity and the ugliness of a pity party are compelling. We live in a society in which having a pity party is much more common than showing pity to others. Anna Clark said, “People who’ve had it easy but still whine about ‘poor me’ are really irritating. Like celebrities who complain about how ‘hard’ it is to be rich and famous and how they ‘wish they had a normal life’ annoy me.” In our day we find the celebrity autobiography that gives evidence that we may be the most self pitying populace in all of human history. Feeling sorry for oneself has been developed into an art form. The pity party always deals with facts; that man does have a better car than I do; that woman does have a more considerate husband that I do; that person does have a better digestive system than I do; that less competent worker got a better promotion than I did. These facts are indisputable (or so we think). This poison is secreted from the comparisons. I find out a truth about myself and compare it to what I know of someone else. This knowledge could become a stimulus for growth and an incentive to bless someone else. More often, though, it provokes envy. “Envy rots the bones.” Proverbs 14:30, NIV.

The antidote to the pity party, which is often a party of one, is found in Psalm 77.

Thesis: Psalm 77 invites us to look, learn and love

For instances:

Look (Vs. 1-10)

Let’s really look at the facts. Yes, we did pray but the Lord failed to answer our prayers as we would like. Vs. 1 We did seek out the Lord (vs. 2a). We did pray during the night (vs. 2b). We sought comfort but our soul refused to be comforted (vs. 2c). What? Why refuse comfort? This refusal shows that this is a pity party. Using our misery to extract pity from others. We must be noticed because we hurt. My troubles, God’s apparent lack of response to my many cries, demands that I be noticed. This person remembered God but when they remembered how God answered them they groaned (vs. 3a). Their spirit grew faint because of their sufferings (vs. 3b). Their troubles leave no time for sleep (vs. 4). Saying that their insomnia is God’s fault. Self pity, the pity party, grovels in nostalgia, look at vs. 5 and beginning of vs. 6. The grass was greener 50 years ago. I loved my songs, my pleasures, and my abilities back then. Almost everybody agrees that things were better in the old days- but no 2 people agree on when the old days were. Russell Baker calls their bluff: “Despite universal yearning for the old days- it is also true that 99 people out of 100 who prefer the old days wouldn’t dream of going back unless they could take their car with them.” The pity party, an inept historian, considers and remembers the past only to feed the injustice of the moment and to avoid doing anything about it.

The pity party is focused inward. Read rest of vs. 6. There is a healthy self awareness but self awareness requires discipline and guidance from others. Notice what the pity party believes about God- take a long look at this one. Read the 6 questions vs. 7-9. Let’s reform these questions into statements: 1) The Lord rejects forever and will never show his favor again 2) The Lord’s unfailing love has vanished forever 3) The Lord’s promises fail all the time 4) God forgets to be merciful 5) God, in his anger, withholds compassion. A rejecting God, a tired God, a stingy God, a forgetful God, an angry God. Can anyone with a first grade knowledge of the God revealed in Scripture support such statements? No!!! Vs. 10 is difficult to translate and reflect the true meaning. Good News Translation says this, “Then I said, What hurts me most is this- that God is no longer powerful.” The Message Bible by Eugene Peterson says here, “Just my luck, I said. The High God goes out of business just the moment I need him.” Who says that God is loving, compassionate, and kind? If he was at one time, he is no longer because I am the evidence. My condition, as everyone can see, is proof that God is not what he is reported to be; otherwise, why would I be so miserable? My grief has this basis: God doesn’t love me