Offenses And Forgiveness

Are children welcome in our churches? Are they tolerated? Is any part of the service of interest to them? What would Jesus say? Can we learn anything from watching them? Let’s find out in Matthew 18.

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me. (Matthew 18:1-5 NIV)

What does Jesus warn about causing one of these little ones to lose faith and sin?

But if you cause one of these little ones who trusts in me to fall into sin, it would be better for you to have a large millstone tied around your neck and be drowned in the depths of the sea. (Matthew 18:6 NLT)

If I say that’s the cutest little baby in the world, am I speaking literally or hyperbolically? The same would be true of some of Jesus’ teachings. Here’s an example.

Woe to the world because of occasions of stumbling! For it must be that the occasions come, but woe to that person through whom the occasion comes! If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life maimed or crippled, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into the eternal fire. If your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into the Gehenna of fire. See that you don’t despise one of these little ones, for I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven. For the Son of Man came to save that which was lost. (Matthew 18:7-11 WEB)

What does Jesus' parable of the lost sheep mean?

What do you think? If someone had one hundred sheep and one of them wandered off, wouldn’t he leave the ninety-nine on the hillsides and go in search for the one that wandered off? If he finds it, I assure you that he is happier about having that one sheep than about the ninety-nine who didn’t wander off. In the same way, my Father who is in heaven doesn’t want to lose one of these little ones. (Matthew 18:12-14 CEB)

Is conflict a part of life? In every church in Christendom, will we eventually be confronted with some great personal offenses? How can we better deal with major conflict? Is a resolution always possible or even realistic? What are our options when our grievances are ignored? Let’s look at Matthew 18:15-20 and learn some broad principles of working through great personal offenses.

The setting is a time when the disciples WERE the Church. After the resurrection, small house churches were the norm for 300 years, until Constantine officially recognized Christianity and persecution began to wane in the Roman Empire. Megachurches, such as the assembly on Pentecost, were and still are rare exceptions.

Taking most interpersonal disputes to a large megachurch is impractical, but the spirit of these instructions is still applicable. As long as sin exists, conflict will be part of church life. Sometimes we can resolve things easily and sometimes we must separate for a time, like Barnabas and Paul (Acts 15:36-39). Even the universal Church has had its schisms through history.

Great Offense

The sense in Greek is to call to account and demand an explanation. This is obviously not an everyday quibble. Normally we bear with one another (Colossians 3:13; Ephesians 4:2). In this case the offense is a major sin.

Do we normally forbear one another’s weaknesses? What use is creating an argument over every minor infraction? Who wants an intolerably toxic, authoritarian atmosphere of fear? Forgiveness and forbearance of each other’s faults makes a joyful church. But does that mean that we should never say anything? Should our attitude be to try and win our brother?

If one of my followers sins against you, go and point out what was wrong. But do it in private, just between the two of you. If that person listens, you have won back a follower. (Matthew 18:15 CEV)

Was there a legal obligation in the Old Testament of two or three witnesses (Deuteronomy 17:6; Deuteronomy 19:15)?

What kinds of offenses deserve to be taken up a level? Should we escalate every single dispute? Do we mostly just forgive and forget, agree to disagree and part as friends? Do we only escalate really bad situations?