Mastering Communication

Mastering Communication

Proverbs 18:21

This sermon is dedicated to people who are married, those who want to get married and those who are sorry they ever got married!

I’ve heard it said that marriages has 3 phases…lust rust and dust and you don’t need Dr. Phil to tell you which one you’re in!

The late Johnny Carson said, “If love is a dream, marriage is the alarm clock! If marriages are made in heaven, so is thunder and lightning!”

No matter who you are in this life, communications has its challenges! Communication in marriage is an art and sometimes this art can become twisted and the real joy is lost! We have to get that joy back! And it will come back by way of mastering communication!

Mastering communication makes all the difference…think about this…

· When Coca-Cola first shipped to China, they named the product something that when pronounced sounded like "Coca-Cola." The only problem was that the characters used meant, "Bite The Wax Tadpole." They later changed to a set of characters that meant "Happiness In The Mouth."

· When Pepsi started marketing its products in China a few years back, they translated their slogan, "Pepsi Brings You Back to Life". But the slogan in Chinese really meant, "Pepsi Brings Your Ancestors Back From The Grave."

· Coors put its slogan, "Turn It Loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer From Diarrhea."

· The Chevy Nova never sold well in Spanish speaking countries. In Spanish "No Va" means "Does Not Go"

Men, how many times have you told your wife something and she still got it wrong? Ladies, how many of you have told your husbands something as clearly as possible and he still got it messed up? Parents, how many of you have told your children something as clearly as possible and they still did just the opposite?

For a family to go through troubles and hard times is not the danger, but the family that cannot communicate that’s the danger! As blood is the life to the body, so communication is the life to the family!

Communication = the exchange of feelings and facts, sending and receiving ideas.

Have you ever heard someone say, “We’re growing apart from each other.” Do you know what they are really saying, “We don’t communicate anymore!” Not that they don’t talk, but they don’t communicate feelings and ideas any more!

So How Do We Master Communication?

1. Understand The Levels of Communication.

I believe that there are 5 levels of communication that are expressed by men and women everyday.

a. Measuring Communication.

It’s when we ask, “How’s the weather?” How are you dear?” How was your day?” Many times it’s communication that’s just mechanical in nature!

Many times we use this communication to measure up the other person. Sometimes spouses will ask leading questions to feel out what kind of mood the other is in!

This level is probably most common in today’s home!

b. Sharing Communication.

This is also very shallow because it just gets to the surface of a person. It’s like reporting information and facts. There’s not a lot of feelings needed at this level. Anyone can do this!

Sadly, this is the level that we stoop when we gossip on other! Some people search for dirt on others like it was gold. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…the more interesting the gossip is about a person the more likely is lies!

In a certain city, the gossipmongers reported that the local pastor was forcing his wife to attend certain religious meetings against her will. And that he was treating her very bad because of her defiance.

Upon learning about the juicy gossip that raced around the city, the pastor was forced to take out an ad in the paper and it read…

“In the first place, I never attempted to influence my wife to attend these meetings against her will. In the second place, she never attended these meetings in question. In the third place, I didn’t even attend these meetings. And lastly, I do not now and never have had a wife!”

If a family’s communication is heavy on this level, it will be a shallow family. Beware parents your kids are watching how you communicate and they will communicate just like Mom and Dad in their own family!

c. Observing Communication.

As we communicate, we observe the reactions of the other person. We are watching the eyes for signs of involvement and facial expressions for interest.

If we yawn or look at our watch, these are signs that we really aren’t interesting! This is madding to woman!

d. Revealing Communication.

This is gut-level conversation in a relationship!

This is where we say, what we love, feel, fear and dream. This is what we start out with in dating and the first years of marriage. But then men and women struggle to reveal and express as time goes by!