Kingdom Marriage Series

Terry Kenne from Winston-Salem, North Carolina, talked about her daughter planning a small family wedding at their church. When Terry and her husband arrived early on the day of the wedding to make sure everything was ready, they noticed a banner from the missions conference was still behind the pulpit. She said, “Its message seemed appropriate for our occasion, too: WORTH THE RISK.” (Terry Hartsell Kenne, Winston-Salem, North Carolina. Christian Reader, "Rolling Down the Aisle;” www.PreachingToday.com)

Getting married is risky, because you really don’t know what you’re getting into.

It’s like being on an episode of the Food Network’s TV show Chopped. Sandy and I enjoy watching the show, which features a competition between very experienced chefs. They're each given a “mystery basket” containing some strange ingredients. This last week, a basket contained a pig uterus and other strange items. The chefs open their baskets all at the same time, and whatever is there, they must use it to create a delicious meal that impresses the judges. Now, these chefs are all very well trained. They can make an appetizer. They can whip up a great dessert. But when they open up a basket to discover they have to make an appetizer with mussels and waffles, or a dessert with tomatoes and tofu—that's when things get real interesting.

Marriage is a lot like that. When you get married you open up your “mystery basket” and discover the ingredients God gave you to work with. And let me tell you. There’s always a surprise in each basket: an unexpected illness; a personality quirk that drives you crazy; or an unknown wound deep below the surface. The basket is full of surprises; but no matter what you find, you still have to create a marriage that works (Skye Jethani, Wheaton, Illinois, www.PreachingToday.com)

The question is: How? How do you make a marriage work despite the surprises that come? How do you create a delicious and lasting relationship even with some difficult ingredients? Well, if you have your Bibles, I invite you to turn with me to Matthew 5, Matthew 5, where Jesus talks about marriage in His Kingdom.

Matthew 5:31-32 It was also said, “Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.” But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. (ESV)

This is all a part of Jesus’ explanation of what the Law means when it says, “You shall not commit adultery.” Here, the command against adultery means don’t divorce. In the previous section (vs.27-30), Jesus said the command against adultery means don’t do it even if it’s just in your mind. In other words, don’t lust; don’t look at another woman with the intent of imagining sex with her. So if you want to make your marriage work...

DON’T LOOK AT OTHER WOMEN (OR MEN).

Don’t consider other prospects especially if you’re going through a rough patch in your own marriage. Don’t even entertain the thought of another spouse, because such thoughts will tear your own marriage apart.

Many famous people have been married multiple times: King Henry VIII (six times), film star Elizabeth Taylor (eight times), and TV actress Zsa Zsa Gabor (nine times). However, there is someone that very few people know about, whose been married more times than all three combined! He could easily claim the title of the world’s most married person.

His name is Glynn “Scotty” Wolfe; and starting at age 22, Wolfe married 29 times. Some of the marriages ended in days, while other lasted years. But why so many?

Well, psychologists suggest that as soon as he committed to a person, he experienced varying degrees of remorse. His marriage would experience bumps in the relational road, and he’d start looking for other options.

He fathered over forty children; and when he died, many of his ex-spouses were still living. Even so, he died alone and penniless. His lifeless body – with a tattoo of a tied knot on his forearm – went unclaimed in the county morgue for months. (Moreland and Muehlhoff, The God Conversation: Using Stories and Illustrations to Explain Your Faith, IVP, 2017, p.152; www.PreachingToday.com)

That’s a sad story, but a good picture of what can happen when your own marriage hits some bumps in the road and you start looking for other options. Please, don’t do it if you want your marriage to last.

Some time ago (Dec 2009), the Family Research Council published the results of a study exploring the effects of pornography on marriage, children, and individuals, using divorce lawyers as a primary source. Citing the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, the study noted that 56 percent of divorce cases involved “one party having an obsessive interest in pornographic websites,” while 68 percent of divorce cases involve one spouse conducting an affair with someone they met over the internet. (Nathan Black, Family Group Releases Study on Effects of Pornography, www.christianpost.com, 12-02-2009; www. PreachingToday.com)