Is It Time? Series

A married couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary.

At the party everybody wanted to know how they managed to stay married so long in this day and age.

The husband responded, “When we were first married, we came to an agreement. I would make all the major decisions, and my wife would make all the minor decisions.”

At which point the wife spoke up and said, “And in 60 years of marriage we have never needed to make a major decision” (www.dobhran.com/humor/GRhumor717.htm).

Their first and last major decision together was whether or not they should get married. And really, after that, there are not too many major decisions left.

Think about it. In our society, people make most of the major decisions of their lives between the ages of 15 and 25: What career to pursue? What college to attend? And most importantly, who to marry?

It hardly seems right that people so young should have to make such huge, life-changing decisions, but God has some wonderful guidance for our young people. There is a passage in the Bible addressed specifically to this age group. So if you’re there, or if you’re a parent or grandparent, a teacher or a coach, or just a friend helping somebody else who is there, I invite you to turn with me to 1 Corinthians 7, 1 Corinthians 7, where God addresses those not yet married.

1 Corinthians 7:25 Now concerning the betrothed [literally the virgins, i.e., those not yet married], I have no command from the Lord [I.e., Jesus Himself didn’t address this issue when he was on the earth.] But I give my judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy (ESV).

In other words, even though Jesus didn’t specifically address this issue, I have some trustworthy advice from God Himself

1 Corinthians 7:26-28 Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are [i.e., unmarried]. Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles [or pressure] in this life, and I want to spare you this (ESV).

When a person is thinking about getting married, there are five (5) questions he or she should consider, and the first is this…

IS NOW THE RIGHT TIME?

Is this the best time to get married, or should I wait?

You see, according to verse 26, the believers in Corinth were in a time of distress. Literally, they were under a lot of pressure. Now, we don’t know the exact nature of their crisis, but we do know that the first century church faced many waves of persecution. Nero was the emperor back then, and he hated Christians. He blamed them for the empire’s problems, and he delighted in setting them on fire as live torches for his gardens. It’s not really a good time to get married.

So today, when your life is in turmoil, it is not a good time to get married. Marriage is not for those in trouble. Marriage is not for those with problems, because it only adds a whole new set of problems to the ones you already have.

In his book Becoming a King, consultant Morgan Snyder writes about meeting a decorated U.S. special forces warrior who was a master on the battlefield but who struggled at home. The soldier said, “I can handle any firefight and a 300-hundred-man ambush, no problem. My role and objectives in war are clear. It is my life at home I can’t handle—my marriage, my kids, my mortgage. I’m failing. I feel like I live in Afghanistan, and I’m deployed to my home in Texas.”

Morgan Snyder comments: “Nothing to expose more of the unfinished places in us than our marriage and parenting. Marriage and home life are the most difficult relationships in which to love well, because they are the only place in which it is least possible to hide” (Morgan Snyder, Becoming a King, Thomas Nelson, 2020, page 158; www.PreachingToday.com).

Paul is right: “Those who marry will have worldly troubles.” Marriage exposes the unfinished places. So don’t look to marriage to solve your problems. If anything, marriage reveals the problems and adds more problems to your life.

Some time ago, David Letterman was interviewing an actor on late-night television, when he said to the actor, “Tell me, you're a sex symbol who plays all sorts of exciting roles with gorgeous women. How does that compare to your real life, off-screen?”

The actor reminded Letterman that he had been happily married for 20 years. Then he said, “Here's the difference in a nutshell. In the movies, life is mostly about sex and occasionally about children. Married life is mostly about children and occasionally about sex” (Philip Yancey, “Holy Sex: How It Ravishes Our Souls,” Christianity Today, October 2003; www.PreachingToday.com).