I Hate My Marriage And How To Get Out! - Pt. 1 - Is The Honeymoon Over? Series

Pt. 1 - Is The Honeymoon Over?

I. Introduction

White picket fences. 3 cars. 2 1/2 kids. A dog. Perfection. That is what we all think our relationship will be. We place ourselves in every romance movie we have ever seen and so in our minds we expect no problems, no pain , no tears, no fears and no reality! Newsflash right from the beginning . . .there are no perfect marriages or relationships.

We know that but we ignore that. So, we continue this pursuit of this mirage and the result is broken people producing broken marriages/relationships. The best way to articulate this may be by this phrase . . . “The honeymoon is over!” We say it jokingly but we experience it truthfully.

The idea of the honeymoon is the idea of everything being perfect all wrapped up in the first few days of a marriage. And we believe it n will never end. Honeymoons are big business. Did you know that most people spend 4 months planning their honeymoon? The average couple spends $4,466 on an average of 8 days trips that are supposed to be bliss and the set up the path to perfection. But how many of you know that the honeymoon not only can but will come to an end? Some of us escaped any reality until day 9 while others didn’t even make it back to their normal schedule before the romance movie in their mind was derailed. Like my friend who rolls into honeymoon night and when he and his new bride walk into the first night of perfection and instead they run into his ex-girlfriend in the lobby. Then after the uncomfortable exchange in the lobby they head to their room only to discover that the ex is next door. The honeymoon is over. However, some of you made it back and months later the 32nd morning of toothpaste tube being squeezed from the wrong end or seat left up and suddenly the honeymoon ends.

So, before we go any further let me stop and tell you that there is a way out of a marriage you hate. Remember a few weeks I told you that you must know that God will never say anything that contradicts His word. So, don’t you expect me to do something He won’t do. So, let’s be clear the way out of a marriage that you hate isn’t to exit but to enter it and change it into a marriage you love. That is my assignment over the next 4 weeks to try to help you have tools or some tips to make this happen. Because the truth is you may think getting out is easier than staying in and fixing what is broken. However, the real truth is getting out unscathed is impossible and staying in and fixing it is not only easier but healthier. No one will tell you that if you don’t fix what is wrong in this relationship you can exit but you will also transport your brokenness into the next relationship. So it is better, as one man said, to accept and work with the spouse you have than it is to exit and try to find the spouse you wish you had.

With that in mind and I want to take you to one of the most complex relationships found in Scripture. It is certainly one of the messiest. But this less than perfect picture helps those of us in marriages that aren’t storybook, which by the way, is all of us.

So, let’s look at the honeymoon . . . It is apparently extended.

We are going to read backwards . . .

Hosea 1:3

Hosea did it. He picked Gomer daughter of Diblaim. She got pregnant and gave him a son.

Hosea 1:6

Gomer got pregnant again. This time she had a daughter.

Hosea 1:8

After Gomer had weaned No-Mercy, she got pregnant yet again and had a son.

So, Hosea marries his wife and apparently there was intimacy and some measure of bliss. She gives birth to children. So, we don’t know how long things had some good aspect but at least 27 months and probably more like 4 years. This couple were blessed.

But let’s backup a little before we go forward to show the end of the honeymoon because if you read the whole story you know that their honeymoon ended before it ever began.

Hosea 1:2

The first time God spoke to Hosea he said: “Find a whore and marry her. Make this whore the mother of your children. And here’s why: This whole country has become a whorehouse, unfaithful to me, God.”

Hosea 3:1-2

Then God ordered me, “Start all over: Love your wife again, your wife who’s in bed with her latest boyfriend, your cheating wife. Love her the way I, God, love the Israelite people, even as they flirt and party with every god that takes their fancy.” I did it. I paid good money to get her back. It cost me the price of a slave. Then I told her, “From now on you’re living with me. No more whoring, no more sleeping around. You’re living with me and I’m living with you.”