I Am The Worst Of Sinners

Paul has been released from living a false life—a life spent hiding the truth about the sinner who lives in his skin.

He was an expert at keeping up appearances—a cup, clean on the outside but smeared with all manner of pride and arrogance and anger and jealousy on the inside. But… he knew how to mask all that.

He knew what not to eat, where not to go, who not to be seen with, and what not to touch. And the harder he was on himself in keeping all these rules the better he thought he looked, and the more he despised people who didn’t keep the rules as good as he did.

In writing to the Philippian believers (see Philip. 3:6-9) Paul looks back on this old life of smoke and mirrors and lies and says in so many words, “Thank God, I am done manufacturing my own righteousness. I am done with the hopeless work of earning God’s approval. These days, since Jesus found me, my greatest sense of myself is that I am a man who is loved by Jesus and I didn’t do anything to earn it. I was the worst of sinners and He came for me, and, praise be to God, He found me and my only source of righteousness now is that righteousness He gives to those who trust Him.

Paul goes on saying; “Now that I have seen and directly experienced the righteousness of God that is freely given to all who trust Jesus Christ, I look upon all that I once bragged about in the old religious life as nothing more than a large and stinking pile of manure. No wonder wherever I went in the world it smelled bad to me. But it wasn’t the world. It wasn’t other people. It was me.

But now I know that Jesus came for sinners and I know He came for me. In fact He ambushed me on the Damascus road and now through me spread the fragrance of His loving presence to others. (see 2 Corinthians 2:14.

So I want you to picture Paul coming right up close to you in order to tell you why God has found him a useful servant. He sits down in front of you and says, “It’s true. I am the worst of sinners; 1 Timothy 1:16 But God had mercy on me so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of his great patience with even the worst sinners. Then others will realize that they, too, can believe in him and receive eternal life. 17 All honor and glory to God forever and ever! He is the eternal King, the unseen one who never dies; he alone is God. Amen.

Paul is telling us of his great relief, of the glorious freedom he lives in. He doesn’t have to fake righteousness anymore. He has finally come to the place where he is living in a warm and relaxed love that Jesus has for Him. He is resting his whole life upon Him. Now that the truth is out and the fake righteousness has ceased He is actually enjoying life spent in fellowship with Jesus.

About 700 years ago an English woman we know as Julian of Norwich had a series of very clear visions (“showings” as she called them), concerning the unsurpassable love of God. She wrote a great deal about what God showed her, and among all she wrote was this; “The greatest honor we can give Almighty God is to live gladly because of the knowledge of his love.”