Hypocrite's Prayer Series

And the ladies are like, "You don't?" No! We are thermal mugs. Okay?

But we need to think that way. We need to help each other. We need to become experts. Experts at being husbands. Experts at knowing the needs. I mean we should be helping each other become more spiritual. We should help our wife and help her to understand you and you to understand her. We should be sensitive to her feelings. We should be asking forgiveness when we are wrong. We should be focussing on what we appreciate about her and not what we don't like. We should be building up her weaknesses. These are the things that we should be doing. We shouldn't be robbing each other of the joy of following Jesus; we should be multiplying that.

It seems like so many husbands were amazing boyfriends and terrible husbands, and it shouldn't be that way. Boyfriends should not be better than being husbands. I found this joke. And, you know, I don't like to tell jokes, but I don't mind being funny, I don't usually like to tell jokes. But this one is just too good. It was a relationship put into computer language.

And it said a desperate woman wrote Tech Support. She said:

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0, and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as Newspaper 5.0, TV News 3.0 and Basketball Game 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs at all. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

Signed, Desperate Woman

Dear Desperate Woman,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package while Husband 1.0 is an older, more reliable operating system. Please enter the command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2. And don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If those applications work as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the above applications can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 and Stay Away 2.0.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother In Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your systems.)

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a decent program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory & performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7.

All right. Okay, but we laugh, but how many know people say, "Oh, what happened to this guy? He was wanting to know my needs, he was doing all the right things. And we got married and he just shut down!"

It shouldn't be that way. Christians should be so good with marriage that it should be like, "You should see what I'm going to do when I become a husband. If you think it's good now, wait until we make a vow to each other, and I'm willing to show you everything that I can do. This is going to be amazing. Husband 1.0 is going to be amazing. Everything here goes to a whole other level." But it isn't like that. And it should be.