How To Make Friends And Influence People Series

ILLUS: According to research: The most common words in the English language are "I," "Me," "My," and "Mine." What’s that tell us? It tells us that people who are focused on themselves develop relationships that are focused on themselves. It’s kind of hard to get a good relationship going when that happens.

I once read a poem that said: “I am like James and John. Lord, I size up other people in terms of what they can do for me; how they can further my program, feed my ego, satisfy my needs, give me strategic advantage. I exploit people, ostensibly for your sake, but really for my own sake. Lord, I turn to you to get the inside track and obtain special favors, your direction for my schemes, your power for my projects, your sanction for my ambitions, your blank check for whatever I want. I am like James and John. Change me, Lord. Make me a man who asks of you and of others, ‘what can I do for you!’”

So, Jesus calls us to make friends of people who are sinful. But, how do we do that? This is where we go back to 7 yr. old telling his mother she was “thin/beautiful.” He told her what she wanted to hear.

Colossians says our lives should tell people 2 things they really do want to hear:

1st - You don’t have to be trapped by your sin. “Put to death … what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.” (Colossians 3:5) And put away “anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.” (Colossians 3:8)

When we live our lives trying to be pure for Christ… the world notices that. And (if THIS is what we focus on – being pure) then our lives declare to them that there is hope… you can change!

ILLUS: I recently read a story of a man in prison. He deserved to be there. He was evil in ways we can’t even begin to imagine. He was involved in drugs, prostitution, and murder and had knifed several men while in prison. At one point though, his depravity overwhelmed him. He was tired of living like this and nearly committed suicide because he felt there was no hope that he could ever change. This is partly why live of purity are so important – it tells men and women who’ve destroyed their lives that there is hope.

But, we’ve got to be careful to remember why we’re doing this. There are Christians who try to live pure lives so they can have bragging rights (I’m better than you are). There are entire congregations who reflect this kind of attitude. If you’re not up to their “purity” standards, you can’t even get in the door.

ILLUS: There a true story of a little boy (as they were leaving church) declared: "Mom, I'm not going to sin anymore." She was pleased to hear that, but she asked why he said it. He explained: “Jesus said if you don't sin, you can throw the first stone, and I want to throw the first stone.”

Ephesians 2:8-9 tells us “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may BOAST.” Once we seek purity so we can be superior to others… we lose our message. Our message should be: There is hope, you can change. You don’t have to be trapped in your sin. That’s what many people TRULY want/need to hear.