Forgiving And Being Forgiven

Let's talk about our doctors today. How do you know you have a good doctor? It's not just tied to his medical school or training. A good doctor applies that knowledge well. A good doctor knows what questions to ask. A good doctor discerns what symptoms mean and prescribes the right treatment. But we all tend to value one more important thing in our medical doctors and that is compassion.

A compassionate doctor is worth his weight in gold. Hearing a medical diagnosis can be a challenging time in our lives. Many times, we'd rather just avoid hearing it all together, yet we know a good doctor tactfully tells us what we may not want to hear but we so need to hear. A good doctor gently explains the problem and gives us the diagnosis so he can prescribe the cure.

Jesus is more than a good doctor. Jesus is the Great Physician. He sees what makes our hearts sick. His diagnosis is always accurate. And He provides the cure. He provides Himself. Today we are going to look at a debilitating ailment of the soul: unforgiveness. Last week we talked about honoring our neighbor and part of that process involved forgiveness on our part. We all agreed that it is not easy to always forgive. But unforgiveness robs us of the life we’re meant to live: a life of joy, peace, and love for God and others. So, let's talk about forgiving others today. Prayer.

I think a lot of us can relate to Peter. Peter had that foot-in-mouth problem. He would blurt out things without thinking about what he was going to say. Comedian and entertainer Mark Lowry said that someone once told him, “Mark, you need to think about what you're going to say before you say it.” He said, “Sometimes I don't even know what I'm thinking until I hear myself say it.”

The disciples had just heard Jesus's prescription for conflict resolution among fellow Christians. And then Peter asked a natural question: how often would he have to forgive? How often should you forgive someone? Every time.

Matthew 18:21-22 – “Then Peter approached him and asked, “Lord, how many times must I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? As many as seven times?” 22 “I tell you, not as many as seven,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven.”

With Peter's question, he thought he was being generous by throwing out the number 7. That was far beyond what the Jewish religious tradition required. The Pharisees, who often added to God's laws in a way that missed its meaning entirely, taught that you weren't required to forgive someone more than three times. So, by suggesting as many as seven times, Peter thought he was going above and beyond what he needed to do to forgive someone more than double what the religious leaders prescribed.

Jesus's answer wasn't saying that we should forgive someone up to 490 times and then stop. He was telling us that we are to always forgive and be over-the-top generous in showing mercy. We’re to forgive so often that we lose count of how many times someone has offended or sinned against us. In other words, don't keep track. Just forgive. For us to understand what forgiveness is, it's important to understand what forgiveness is not.

Forgiveness is neither downplaying or dismissing the offense. Some people think they need to rationalize or minimize other people's sins and the pain they caused. But that denies the truth, and the apostle John declared that the truth will set you free.

Forgiveness is not the same thing as reconciliation. Reconciliation is a good goal to have, but it takes two people to reconcile, and you're not responsible for someone else's actions. In fact, in some cases, the safe and wise thing to do is to separate yourself from the offender.

Forgiveness is not necessarily a substitute for taking other measures like pressing charges for a criminal offense or even holding someone accountability.

Jesus’s instructions on forgiveness or not easy nor are they quick. But they're necessary for us to be spiritually whole and at peace with each other.

As we talk about forgiveness, undoubtedly someone that you need to forgive comes to mind. Here's what you do. In prayer, ask God to soften your heart so that you can genuinely forgive without keeping score or holding a grudge. Someone once said, “God initiated mercy and paid your debt before you ever asked Him to.” So, Jesus offers a parable to help us to see what we need to do.

Matthew 18:23-27 – ““For this reason, the kingdom of heaven can be compared to a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 When he began to settle accounts, one who owed ten thousand talents was brought before him.