Family Values - Week 5 Series

Family Values

Week 5

The Ten Commandments form the foundation of this series on Family Values.

Today, our focus is on the fifth commandment.

Exodus 20:12 (NIV)

12 "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.

Notice that there is no time limit or age limit on this command.

It simply says, “honor your father and mother.”

It doesn't say anything about young children, or teenage children, it just says children.

That means this is an ALL PLAY because we are all children. We all have parents.

You may be 75 years old and your parents are 100.

You are still supposed to honor your father and your mother.

First, a few Observations on Parenting:

1. Understand that there are no PERFECT parents.

All of us have weaknesses and faults.

We are sometimes inconsistent.

Even the best parents mess up on occasion.

We make mistakes.

None of us had perfect parents.

None of us are perfect parents.

Whenever we talk about honoring our parents,

the topic always turns to parents who are unworthy of honor.

I get it.

Some parents are abusive, manipulative, or neglectful.

What is God telling us to do in situations like these?

Are we supposed to honor dysfunctional or abusive parents?

God is pointing out a principle that we would do well to obey.

He is saying that…

2. We are to honor the POSITION OF PARENTHOOD.

There are three primary sources of authority in life: the home, the church, and the government.

Each of these sources of authority form the basis for an orderly society and they all have roles to play in our lives.

God wants us to honor the position of parenthood,

regardless of the personality behind it.

Respect for authority begins at home.

This is a critical lesson that every child must learn.

It determines how well you're going to do at school,

in your career, in relationships.

The child who grows up saying, "Nobody tells me what to do!" is going to have a hard time with authority. In all likelihood, they will have a hard time keeping a job.

They will have a hard time in life.

God placed parents in a position of authority over us from the time we are born and He wants us to respect them.

We are to respect the position of authority.

3. How we relate to our parents will affect EVERY OTHER RELATIONSHIP.

Your relationship with your parents is a major factor in your life.

Your style of relating to other people is developed at home.

Even as adults, when you act or react in ways you don't understand, or can't figure out, often that is because your behavior has been influenced by your relationship with your parents. Any counselor will tell you that.

People often refer to mommy or daddy issues.

It is a very serious issue when your behavior is so heavily influenced because of an unhealthy relationship with your parents.

Many marriages have been ruined because a spouse has never been able to resolve a relationship with one of their parents and that gets taken out on their husband, or wife, or the kids.

How Am I To Honor My Parents?

It depends on what stage of life you're in.

At each stage this command has different applications.

As a child, I honor my parents by OBEYING and RESPECTING them.

Ephesians 6:1-2 (NIV)

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

2 "Honor your father and mother"--which is the first commandment with a promise--

Obey your parents -- do what they say. Do it willfully, pleasantly, and immediately. I say do it immediately, because delayed obedience is disobedience.

Of course, this looks much different when children living out on their own. We’ll get to that in a minute.

But as long as you are dependent upon your parents for food, clothing, shelter, or insurance...you are living under their authority and you are to do so with grace and gratitude.

If you are dependent upon your parents in any way, the right response is respect and obedience.

Proverbs 19:26 (TLB)

26 A son who mistreats his father or mother is a public disgrace.

I honor my parents by obedience and by showing them respect.

As a young adult, I honor my parents by ACCEPTING and APPRECIATING them.

The older you get, kids become aware of the faults and shortcomings of their parents.

They start seeing their parent’s hang-ups.

They see the chinks in their armor.

Part of this is adolescent arrogance, where the child starts thinking they know more than their parents.

But part of it is based on reality.

As we get older, we begin to realize there are some things we know that our parents don’t know.