Expectations & Excuses

Genesis 3:8-13. 8 And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” 10 And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” 11 He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” 12 The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” 13 Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.” (ESV)

Do you remember a time when expectations were common? At one time duty wasn’t a dirty word. It was the backbone of character. Somewhere along the way, we replaced duty with dialogue. We’ve substituted doing for discussing. But having good intentions is not the same as having integrity. We’ve created a culture that rewards emotion and intensity over execution. We praise a 'good effort' instead of results. We hand out participation trophies and then wonder why no one is growing stronger. If professed intentions are satisfactory over results, then they can easily become a cover for more nefarious actions.

How did we get here? Think about how education and child rearing has changed. At one time, kids were expected to do chores, go to church, participate in team sports and get results. When that did not happen, we didn’t blame the officials, teammates, nor the coaches. It was expected that people would own the loss, accept responsibility and modify their actions to improve. These expectations related to the workplace and how we relate to others with kindness, courage, generosity and helping others. This was the reality of ordinary life.

In the church and society, we stopped expecting much of men. Especially young men. We stopped expecting young men to grow up. We stopped expecting husbands to stay married. We stopped expecting fathers to be present and raise their children. We stopped expecting employees to show up and work hard. We stopped expecting men to pray for and oversee the church. And when expectations disappear, excuses multiply. Now our homes are bathed in excuses. Our churches are full of them. Our communities run on them. Whenever we ask someone how they are or to consider an opportunity, what are the common, pre-prepared responses: "I’m tired." "I’m busy." "That’s not really my thing." "I’m not called to that.". For most, we have a reason for everything and responsibility for nothing. Excuse has its own language. It’s subtle, but once you start listening for it, you can hear it everywhere. Excuse is always other-focused. It is shifty, never my fault, my failure, my fight to fight. It’s always someone else’s fault.

This is evident in Genesis 3, where Adam spoke it first in the Garden: "The woman You gave me…" [Genesis 3:12]. Adam sinned, he failed. But, instead of owning it, he deflected. In one breath he blamed both his wife and God: "The woman YOU gave me…" The first excuse followed the first sin. Notice how the pattern of excuses have continued: Moses said, "I don’t speak well…" Naaman said, "The rivers back home are cleaner." Gideon said, "My family ain’t much to speak of." Saul said, "Come on, it’s only one guy and a few animals…" And this list goes on… "I’m too young," "I’m too old," "I’ve gotta bury my daddy first…" In the broader narrative of Scripture, Christ is the ultimate response to humanity's failure. Where Adam and Eve hid and blamed others, Jesus offers grace and redemption, calling us to come to Him openly with our faults and failures. But in order to do this we must face our expectations and excuses honestly before God to experience true restoration and grace.

In Genesis 3:8-13, the refining of our expectations and removal of our excuses is shown in three ways through 1) God’s Gracious Call (Genesis 3:8-9), 2) God’s Gentle Question (Genesis 3:10-11), and 3) God’s Grace for Our Excuses (Genesis 3:12-13).

First, the refining of our expectations and removal of our excuses is shown through:

1) God’s Gracious Call (Genesis 3:8-9)

Genesis 3:8-9. 8 And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?”