Genesis 3:8-13. 8 And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” 10 And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” 11 He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” 12 The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” 13 Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.” (ESV)
Do you remember a time when expectations were common? At one time duty wasn’t a dirty word. It was the backbone of character. Somewhere along the way, we replaced duty with dialogue. We’ve substituted doing for discussing. But having good intentions is not the same as having integrity. We’ve created a culture that rewards emotion and intensity over execution. We praise a 'good effort' instead of results. We hand out participation trophies and then wonder why no one is growing stronger. If professed intentions are satisfactory over results, then they can easily become a cover for more nefarious actions.
How did we get here? Think about how education and child rearing has changed. At one time, kids were expected to do chores, go to church, participate in team sports and get results. When that did not happen, we didn’t blame the officials, teammates, nor the coaches. It was expected that people would own the loss, accept responsibility and modify their actions to improve. These expectations related to the workplace and how we relate to others with kindness, courage, generosity and helping others. This was the reality of ordinary life.
In the church and society, we stopped expecting much of men. Especially young men. We stopped expecting young men to grow up. We stopped expecting husbands to stay married. We stopped expecting fathers to be present and raise their children. We stopped expecting employees to show up and work hard. We stopped expecting men to pray for and oversee the church. And when expectations disappear, excuses multiply. Now our homes are bathed in excuses. Our churches are full of them. Our communities run on them. Whenever we ask someone how they are or to consider an opportunity, what are the common, pre-prepared responses: "I’m tired." "I’m busy." "That’s not really my thing." "I’m not called to that.". For most, we have a reason for everything and responsibility for nothing. Excuse has its own language. It’s subtle, but once you start listening for it, you can hear it everywhere. Excuse is always other-focused. It is shifty, never my fault, my failure, my fight to fight. It’s always someone else’s fault.
This is evident in Genesis 3, where Adam spoke it first in the Garden: "The woman You gave me…" [Genesis 3:12]. Adam sinned, he failed. But, instead of owning it, he deflected. In one breath he blamed both his wife and God: "The woman YOU gave me…" The first excuse followed the first sin. Notice how the pattern of excuses have continued: Moses said, "I don’t speak well…" Naaman said, "The rivers back home are cleaner." Gideon said, "My family ain’t much to speak of." Saul said, "Come on, it’s only one guy and a few animals…" And this list goes on… "I’m too young," "I’m too old," "I’ve gotta bury my daddy first…" In the broader narrative of Scripture, Christ is the ultimate response to humanity's failure. Where Adam and Eve hid and blamed others, Jesus offers grace and redemption, calling us to come to Him openly with our faults and failures. But in order to do this we must face our expectations and excuses honestly before God to experience true restoration and grace.
In Genesis 3:8-13, the refining of our expectations and removal of our excuses is shown in three ways through 1) God’s Gracious Call (Genesis 3:8-9), 2) God’s Gentle Question (Genesis 3:10-11), and 3) God’s Grace for Our Excuses (Genesis 3:12-13).
First, the refining of our expectations and removal of our excuses is shown through:
1) God’s Gracious Call (Genesis 3:8-9)
Genesis 3:8-9. 8 And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?”
Here we see that God’s first response after the Fall is not to condemn, but to redeem. When the Lord calls out, "Where are you?", it is an invitation to return. We often try to hide from God due to shame, but God desires an honest relationship with us. Jesus came searching for us to bring us back into the light of God’s grace. In verse eight Adam and Eve are confronted with the possibility of direct interaction with the LORD God. They hear him walking in the garden. That the LORD God was walking in verse eight pictures fellowship. At this point the LORD is still seeking the intimate fellowship with the man and the woman that He has always enjoyed. Attired in their scratchy, itchy fig leaves, Adam and Eve hear the voice of the Lord and they hide. That’s what sin always does. It causes us to hide from the Lord. Like Adam and Eve, if there’s rebellion in my life, I’ll run from the voice of the Lord—I’ll lose my appetite for Scripture (Courson, J. (2005). Jon Courson’s application commentary: Volume one: Genesis–Job (p. 11). Thomas Nelson.).
• Satan’s plan is to draw people away from true fellowship with God and one another. What seems like a freeing of what is holding people back is actually the lifeline that keeps us secure. Adrift, we run the risk of being tossed to and frow by the waves, we run into unnecessary hazards and we lose the sense of security that God desires through intimate fellowship. Although genuine believes will not succumb to eternal ruin, many have shipwrecked their faith seeing to cut ties.
The trees of the garden were created by the LORD to provide food for humanity. They are now turned into the means of trying to hide from the LORD!
• All sin in essence is using what God had provided for the opposite purpose
intentioned.
In verse nine, the LORD God seeks out humankind in the garden, and He has been seeking ever since. Even when we would prefer to hide from God, He seeks us. He does not merely speak to the man, but He “calls” to him because man is not where he should be. Presumably the LORD does not ask “Where are you?” because he needs information; He wants the human pair to realize where they really are. His question is addressed to the man in particular since he bears primary responsibility for obedience to the commandment since he, and not the woman, was given it directly. Man has broken away from God, but God will not leave him to his lost condition. This is the great marvel of the Scriptures; God does not abandon the creature to his just deserts. In this question God reveals His love; for the purpose of interrogating Adam is to cause him to see where his disobedience has brought him, to contemplate his present status and give an account of why he is in the condition in which he finds himself (KJV Bible commentary. 1997 (21). Nashville: Thomas Nelson.).
Please turn to Psalm 139 (p.489)
Shame, remorse, confusion, guilt, and fear all led to their clandestine behavior. There was no place to hide; there never is. Time and time again the most foolish decisions are made apart from godly counsel. People in anger, ignorance or a one-sided outlook, often don’t see the pitfalls in their action or inaction. When we first consult the scriptures, seek the Lord’s guidance and consider the godly wisdom of others, we not only make better decisions, but often avoid the most painful pitfalls. (MacArthur, J. J. (1997). The MacArthur Study Bible (electronic ed.) (Ge 3:9). Nashville: Word Pub.).
Psalm 139 considers the presence of God that should be our comfort and guide:
Psalm 139:1-10. [139:1] O LORD, you have searched me and known me! [2] You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar.[3] You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. [4] Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O LORD, you know it altogether. [5] You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. [6] Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it. [7] Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? [8] If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! [9] If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, [10] even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me. (ESV)
• Although it can be intimidating to consider God's omnipresence, His gentle hand is one to comfort and guide. We need not fear His correction and we would be foolish to spurn His guidance. To truly Experience God is to come into His presence through the work of Christ by the power of the Spirit. To realize that He truly knows us and is always with us should both comfort us through difficulties and guide our thoughts, speech and actions to demonstrate that He is here.
Second, the refining of our expectations and removal of our excuses is shown through:
2) God’s Gentle Question (Genesis 3:10-11)
Genesis 3:10-11. 10 And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” 11 He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” (ESV)
Here we see that Adam’s admission of fear is due to his nakedness. But notice how God gently uncovers our attempts at self-defense. It is important to acknowledge our vulnerabilities rather than cover them. Through Jesus, we have the strength to face our fears without excuses. This highlights the freeing power of Christ’s sacrifice which enables us to live transparently before God and others. In our day and age, we have become masters in avoiding transparency. We are professionals at excuse-making. We’ve even mastered sounding spiritual while making excuses. We say, "I’m praying about it," when what we mean is, "I’m never going to do it." We say, "I’m in a season of waiting," when we’re just afraid to obey. We say, "I’m processing," when really, we’re procrastinating. We can justify anything, spin anything, nuance anything. We’ve become fluent in soft language—words that sound spiritual but serve as camouflage for apathy.
In verse 10, Adam explains that he hid out of fear because he realized his nakedness (3:10). Actually, his fear was his response to the presence of God in the garden; he did not want to appear before God in his nakedness. Why did the man fear God because of nakedness? Public nakedness in the ancient Near East and in the Bible was a terrible disgrace (see 2:25 discussion; cf. Noah, 9:22–25). Here that shame is explained as the consequence of the guilt of sin. Before human disobedience there was no shame (2:25), but with sin the man’s self-consciousness had changed. His sense of humiliation impacts his covering up before the woman as well as before God. By this Adam admits his sense of shame, which has been motivated by his guilt.
Please turn to James 5 (p.952)
The admission of shame by Adam is actually a good thing. Guilt is the proper response to transgression against God. Admission is the proper acknowledgement of transgression against God. Excuses through word games derails this helpful process.
In James 5, James warns us about using our words to avoid responsibility
James 5:9–12. 9 Do not grumble against one another, brothers, so that you may not be judged; behold, the Judge is standing at the door. 10 As an example of suffering and patience, brothers, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. 11 Behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast. You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful. 12 But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation. (ESV).
• This grumbling is the divisive complaining when people have faulty expectations. Polite tolerance is often possible in good times, but it will not hold back bitterness in particularly painful times of suffering when people explode in frustration and turn upon each other. The opposite to this complaining, is the faithful witness of the example of the prophets, many who suffered and died (cf. Heb. 11:32–38) for speaking in the name of the Lord. This should be the focus of our speech and not excuses. James illustrates this in the use of Oaths which were allowed in Israel, but the person was required to fulfill them, especially because they so often involved invoking the name of God (see Lev. 19:12; Jer. 5:2). James’s prohibition of oaths builds on Jesus’ prohibition in Matt. 5:33–37, and the point in both cases is that one’s word should be enough. Still, this does not mean all oaths (e.g., official oaths) (Crossway Bibles, The ESV Study Bible (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles, 2008), 2398.)
The failure of speech is highlighted back in Genesis 3:11. Two follow-up questions sharpen the fact of the crime in verse 11. Both questions are rhetorical. The first shows that no one is required to tell the man of his shame because he experiences guilt for his crime. This was not the consequence of false guilt imposed by parent or social convention; it was true guilt arising from a violated conscience. By the second question Adam’s nakedness is linked to his transgression concerning the tree. Here “tree” is no longer identified as the tree of knowledge but the tree “that I commanded you not to eat from” (cf. “commanded,” 2:16). Together these questions explain to the man that his sense of shame arose from his defiance of God’s command (K. A. Mathews, Genesis 1-11:26, vol. 1A, The New American Commentary (Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 1996), 240–241.)
There was a time of expectation where people didn’t have time for the luxury of overthinking. They had mouths to feed. Communities to build. Kids to raise. A God to worship and obey. They didn’t have to "find their calling." Their calling was fulfilling their responsibilities. They had expectations. They were expected to show up. Stay married. Work hard. Sacrifice. Lead. They had clarity, they had purpose, the kind that comes from necessity. Life was too hard [and too short] to waste on introspection. There was no room for excuses—only effort. Our grandparents didn’t talk about purpose. They didn’t wait for motivation. They just showed up. They carried weight—physical and emotional. And because they carried it, they became strong. They didn’t ask the world to bend around them; they simply did what was expected. And somewhere along the way… we’ve stopped doing that. Today, we chase meaning while running from the very things that give it: hard work, long obedience, quiet faithfulness. We live in an age with the false belief that if something doesn’t feel inspiring, it must not be important. Somewhere along the way, we started mistaking ordinary for brokenness. We began confusing routine with meaninglessness. We traded the sacred grind of a steady life for the thrill of constant change. We told children to "chase their dreams" and "follow their hearts," and then wondered why so many of them lost their heads.
Finally, the refining of our expectations and removal of our excuses is shown through:
3) God’s Grace for Our Excuses (Genesis 3:12-13)
Genesis 3:12-13. 12 The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” 13 Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.” (ESV)
Notice Adam and Eve’s excuses as they pass blame to each other and the deceiver. This mirrors our own tendencies to deflect responsibility. Yet through the transformative power of Christ’s redemption, enables us to lay down our defenses and seek forgiveness. In Christ, we find liberation from the cycle of blame and shame, moving towards reconciliation and growth. Excuses never built anything. Not a family. Not a church. Not a legacy. Nothing changes until we take responsibility and act. No revival happens in a home or a church until someone says, "Enough. The excuses stop here."
• Today we tend to live in an age where “trying” is regarded enough. It’s not enough. At some point, you have to deliver. You have to engage and act. Trying without follow-through isn’t obedience. It’s theater. Spiritual maturity requires consistent action and perseverance. The book of James is filled with God’s expectation that our lives would be more than just well-meaning vague ambition or verbal platitudes. That’s why James says in James 2:17 that Faith without works is dead. God expects more than our excuses. He asks for and requires our obedience. God has not changed. God’s design for manhood is not soft, not optional, not theoretical. It’s rooted in responsibility, action, and obedience. At some point, a man has to stop explaining why he’s not doing what God clearly called him to do and just start doing it.
In verse, 12, despite his culpability the man points to the woman as the real offender. Unlike the woman, the man was not deceived by the serpent—at least he does not refer to the serpent—so he cites her part in the matter. In particular, Adam’s punishment is later related to his consent to the woman (3:17). Adam’s contention is given force by the emphasis on “she,” yielding the excuse: “I only took what she gave me!” But there could be no exoneration for his crime on this flimsy basis. Not finished with shifting blame, Adam even accuses God for the tragedy by adding, “the woman whom you gave to be/put here with me.” … By this Adam charges that the Lord “gave” the woman to him and in turn she “gave” him the fruit. The implication is inescapable: God ultimately is responsible for the success of the tempter and Adam’s demise. The woman is depicted as God’s gift in Gen. 2:22, where Adam initially responds with enthusiastic glee. Now, like the serpent, he charges that God’s good gift was malicious, for she has led to his downfall. She is a mistake. James answers this accusation in James 1:13 where he says that “that each person is responsible for their own sin. Sin was the deliberate choice of the man. By shifting the blame, the man hoped to evade accountability for his autonomous actions. By postponing his own involvement until the last word in the verse, Adam attempts to minimize his part in this sin. (Victor P. Hamilton, The Book of Genesis, Chapters 1–17, The New International Commentary on the Old Testament (Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 1990), 194.).
• If our first reaction to any problem is an attempt to find an excuse, then repentance and healing are delayed. If however, when a problem occurs, our expectation of ourselves is to first look within to determine what role we may have played in the problem, then true repentance and healing begin
Finally, the Lord challenges the woman to explain herself in verse 13 by questioning her actions. … The woman, who was Adam’s delight and was designed by God to be his “helper” in achieving blessing (Gen. 2:18), becomes a partner in rebellion. Like the man, she shifts the blame to another party—the serpent. But unlike the man she can rightly claim to be the “victim” of deception. Also, she stops short of attributing the snake’s wily deed to God as Adam has insinuated (cp. Jer 4:10). The result is that the authority of God has been successfully undermined, first through trickery and then through willful rebellion. (K. A. Mathews, Genesis 1-11:26, vol. 1A, The New American Commentary (Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 1996), 241–242.)
Where does this all leave us? This is what we need to reinforce and tell others. Here’s what [young] men, and people in general need to hear today: meaning and purpose grow in the soil of expectation. Purpose is discovered in the hard places, where you keep showing up, even when no one else does. It is found in holding your marriage together through dry seasons. It is found in loving your kids when you’re tired. It is keeping your word when it costs you something. It is doing the right thing, not for likes, but because it’s right. Those are found in small, steady acts of faithfulness. We’ve built an entire culture that glorifies ambition but ignores endurance. Everyone wants to start something. No one wants to stay with something. We celebrate launch but not loyalty—visibility but not virtue. Yet greatness rarely announces itself. It grows quietly, behind the scenes, in the man or woman who keeps showing up when it would be easier to quit. That’s how our fathers and grandfathers lived. They didn’t talk about legacy. They lived one. They didn’t post their work. They finished it. They didn’t chase meaning. They created it. Unfortunately, what they called duty, we’ve demonized. We say, "Don’t work too hard." Avoid "burnout." Keep "boundaries." Strive for "balance." We act as if zealousness is oppression instead of the seed of formation. What we need isn’t more self-discovery. We need more self-discipline. Less trying to "find ourselves," and more choosing to die to ourselves in what matters most: our faith, our families, our work. Those who came before us knew something we’ve nearly forgotten: A person’s purpose isn’t something they discover. It’s something they deliver.
Please turn to 1 Peter 1 (p.953)
You can’t fix the whole world. But you can start with your world. Set expectations again, in your home, your marriage, your circle of influence. Model responsibility: Show up when it’s inconvenient. Apologize when you’re wrong. Serve when no one’s watching. Give when it costs you something. Change comes, not in big events, but in ordinary obedience. People don’t drift into godliness. They discipline themselves into godliness, one obedient step at a time.
Peter explained how this change happens in 1 Peter 1
1 Peter 1:13-16. 13 Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 14 As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, 15 but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, 16 since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” (ESV)
• God has expectations for us. When you expect something of yourself and others, you honor the image of God in them. You say, "You were built for more than this." The kingdom of God doesn’t need more flighty people. It needs dependable men and women. People who keep promises, and don’t fold when life gets heavy. People who understand that grace doesn’t cancel expectations—it empowers them. The grace of God doesn’t whisper, "Do whatever you want." It declares, "Now go and live differently." Grace gives you what sin took away: the power to do what’s right, even when it’s hard.
As you go now, here are Three Challenges for the Week:
1. Reestablish Order in Your Home. Sit down with your wife and kids. Define what you expect of each other—spiritually, emotionally, practically. Keep it clear and consistent.
2. Eliminate One Excuse. Identify one area where you’ve been delaying obedience. Repent and take the next right step.
3. Finally, Call someone else to a Higher Expectation. Text or call a friend and say what few people say anymore: "I expect more from you, I believe you can do it, and I’ll help you do it."
The Kingdom of God doesn’t need more explanations. It needs us to be examples. It needs men and women who take up their cross instead of their comfort. People who fear God more than failure. People who live with holy expectation again. Expectations aren’t the problem. Excuses are. We will never live up to an expectation that we don’t have for ourselves. Our Bosses have them for us, our kids and spouses have them for us, and our friends have them for us. What expectations do you have of yourself before God and among His people, for His Kingdom and glory? Set particular expectations for yourself and see what God will do through you.
(Format note: Some applicational commentary from https://charper.substack.com/p/expectations-and-excuses-part-ii?utm_source=post-email-title&publication_id=1235283&post_id=176967047&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=1ocup&triedRedirect=true&utm_medium=email)
079 Benediction
May the only One Who grants pardon for sin and a peace that endures, And Whose own presence guides and cheers, Strengthen and protect you from the evil one. So that together with the saints of God, we who are His children may walk in newness of life with the one who walks in, through and with us, until we see Him face to Face. In Christ’s Name we Pray. Amen. (cf. 2 Thessalonians 3:3. Hymn Reference: Great is Thy Faithfulness, Thomas O. Chisholm (1866–1960); TH p. 32)
